


Hands Origins

by Zeona (orphan_account)



Series: The Days After [1]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Crazy, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kidnapping, Magic, Magic Drainer, Magic Hands, Multi, Physical Abuse, Physical Disability, Psychological Torture, Psychological Trauma, Rape Aftermath, Recovery, Science Experiments, Torture, Whipping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-27
Updated: 2016-11-10
Packaged: 2018-08-27 07:59:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 26
Words: 61,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8393527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Zeona
Summary: The monsters are finally free of the Underground. Everything seems nice and good until a certain small skeleton is captured while at work





	1. Life aboveground

Sans stared at the ceiling, clutching his blanket closer to him. He couldn't sleep. He wouldn't admit it but he missed his home in the Underground. He missed the smell of his room, of spilt ketchup. He had spent so much time in his bed, he knew where every stain and every crack was. Their new house above ground had been built, almost a replica of the one Underground. Yet, it wasn't the same. The feel of home wasn't there. Sans groaned, turning and twisting in bed.

He checked his phone and saw that the time was 3am. Sans tapped through his contacts. He needed someone to talk to. There probably wasn't anyone up yet but still... he clicked on Grillby's number.

Sans:  
hey?

Grillby:  
What's up?

Sans raised an eyebrow. He didn't remember Grillby's schedule consisting of 3am business. He blushed at that. He'd memorised Grillby's schedule 

Sans:  
why are you awake?

Grillby:  
Why are you awake?

Sans:  
was bonely

Grillby:  
Sans. You can forget about coming to the bar today.

Sans laughed out loud. A pang of sadness came. Grillby's wasn't really Grillby's anymore. He didn't own his own bar like back in the Underground. Which wasn't fair. Grillby's food and drinks were the best. Better than what the humans cooked. Grillby was just a plain old waiter now.

Sans:  
meet up?

There was a pause and Sans flushed, mentally rebuking himself. Grillby wouldn't want him coming around at this time of the day! What an idiot he was.

Grillby:  
My house? 

Sans:  
10 minutes for you to clear up your apartment.

Sans sighed with relief. A thought suddenly occurred to him. What if Grillby just said yes to appease Sans? What if he was actually bothering Grillby? He thought about ditching Grillby but decided against it. Grillby had after all agreed. If he didn't want him around, Sans could just 'port away back home. He swung his legs out of his bed, staring at a mirror found by his cupboard. Dark semicircles rimmed just beneath his eyes. Scars riddled his wrist, ankles and ribs where Sans had taken to cutting himself deep enough to scar the bone. Right down to the marrow.

Sans shook his head and pulled on a turtleneck and his usual blue hoodie. He closed his eyes and took a step forward. His foot landed with a thud as it hit the tiled floor of Grillby's home. He could hear Grillby curse as he opened his eyes. Sans gave a lazy grin and waved timidly. 

"I won't ever get used to that." Grillby murmured from the couch. Grillby wore casual jeans, a white T-shirt and a leather jacket over it. Sans always thought Grillby looked pretty hot in those jeans. And that jacket too. And not just literally hot. Grillby was an elemental. A fire one at that. Sans joined him on the couch, a tinge of blue on his cheeks.

"So... how's it feel like aboveground now?" Sans asked.

"Odd. I never thought I'd see the sun again."

"You... weren't born in the Underground?" Sans blinked. He didn't really know the fire elemental well despite them being close friends. Grillby was a quiet monster but now that he was above ground, he had opened up more. It was a pleasant surprise, and a good opportunity to get to know his friend better.

"Yeah. It was a long time ago though. I hardly remember." Grillby gave a soft smile that sent ripples of blue across Sans' cheekbones. 

"So why are you up?" Sans turned to look away, hoping Grillby was tired enough to not notice the blush.

"Oh. I'm not entirely used to this apartment... ... it's a lot noisier above ground."

"Am I... am I bothering you?"

"Oh no of course not."

"heh. Good to know."  
Sans tucked his hands into his jacket pocket, slouching lower. He should probably leave now. It was getting awkward. 

"How is it, working for the King?"

"Oh it's great. I just... It's hard y'know. I'm helping out in the lab and the Royal Guard too. It's better now I suppose. Papyrus is glad I'm not... sleeping so much hah." Sans tried to cover the bitterness in his words. He was failing at everything. Failing to get that stupid machine to work. 

He was constantly distracted, thinking about millions of things all at once. Sans couldn't focus during training and he couldn't work well in the lab. He did his best to make everyone smile tho. That was his job. "I... I uh should get going." He stood up quickly.

Grillby rose as well. "Sans-"

"bye Grillbz" Sans ignored Grillby calling his name and he took a step and teleported back into his bedroom. He couldn't stand this, the urge too great. He grabbed a small blade by his bedside and began cutting away. Blood slipped down his wrist. Stupid. So stupid. 

The pain didn't bother him anymore. This - this cutting - was a work of art. This was something he was good at. Something he could do. It didn't feel wrong but Sans knew if people saw it - especially Papyrus, they would judge. They would send him away. Something along those lines. He grabbed a tablecloth and wiped the blood away before it could drip onto the sheets. Papyrus was always coming into his room to clean up and if he saw bloodstains, he would be sure to question Sans.

He kicked the bloodied cloth under his bed. He'd throw it out later. Sans flopped back onto the bed, resuming to staring at the ceiling until the sun rose and streams of light peaked through the curtains. 

He could hear clinking downstairs. Probably Papyrus up already, making breakfast. He waited for several minutes before climbing out of bed and staggering out of his room. 

"SANS! YOU'RE UP! FINALLY YOU LAZY BONES!"

"heh. I guess I'm bone-idle."

"AUGH. HOW DO YOU EVEN WORK?"

"not at all." Sans chuckled as Papyrus covered his face with a groan. Sans headed for the door. 

"SANS! ARE YOU NOT GOING TO EAT SOME BREAKFAST FIRST?" 

"Uh... not hungry bro. Keep some for me. I'll come home later and eat some of your...?"

"SPAGHETTI TOAST"

"Yes that. Be right back."  
Sans waved and closed the door behind him.

Papyrus sighed. His brother wasn't eating enough. He'd noticed Sans was going out more. He was busy, actually working hard for once with 2 jobs - both related to royal work. Papyrus was glad his brother wasn't being as lazy as before but he felt a little guilty. He was training hard under Undyne's guidance, even taking lessons like a university student. But that meant he didn't have time to work himself. 

Sans worked hard to pay off the house, school and training bills. He was worried Sans wasn't getting enough rest. Before, Underground, Sans had slept too much but always seemed tired, with dark circles under his eyes Now above ground, those circles had only gotten larger and darker. Papyrus desperately wanted to help out but Sans had been firm. He could remember it clearly in his head.

__

"No. You're not going to work."

"SANS DONT BE RIDICULOUS! I -"

Sans put up his hand to stop Papyrus.  
"Enough paps. As the elder, I should have taken the responsibility of working when we were Underground. Now, I'm going to take up my duty as the older brother. You deserve a good education. And now that you're above ground, you need that education. I don't need it anymore. I'm too old. You're almost 18. Good enough for university. Besides, you need to focus on your Royal Guard training too."

Papyrus had hugged him, proud of him then. He was still proud of him. But he was also worried. 2 years had passed since then and Papyrus could see Sans getting more and more distant. He had did a good job of hiding it however. But Papyrus knew Sans. Very well in fact. He'd pressed Sans to let him take up a job, or at least tell him what troubled him. 

Sans was very against the first and easily evaded the latter by asking him how university was. Papyrus was smarter than he let on to most people so, seeing that Sans didn't want to answer his questions, he hadn't pressed any further.

Papyrus climbed up the stairs. As he passed Sans' bedroom, he sighed. The room was a mess. A pile of clothes by his bed, socks that never matched scattered across the floor. His sheets had been torn off the bed and now lay on the floor. Papyrus sighed again. He might as well help his brother clean up. He waved his hand, concentrating. All the clothes in sight lifted off the floor and floated towards Papyrus. 

He wasn't extremely practiced in his magic still. Unlike Sans who could wield his magic effortlessly, Papyrus had to think hard. During his months of experimenting his magic, he found he couldn't teleport and his knack for attacking wasn't as good as Undyne would've liked it to be. However, he was great at creating shields and his Telekinesis was getting better too. 

He noticed clothes under the bed as well and waved them out. At first, he missed the reddish tinge to the "clothes" but as it floated closer, he realized they were reddish-brown patches on dark red pieces of cloth. Bloodstains. He furrowed his brow. Was Sans hurt? He thought back to earlier that morning. His brother had seemed fine. But then again Sans was an amazing actor... and liar. He would ask Sans about it later when he returned home. He would check Sans himself if he had to.

\---------------

Sans downed another bottle of wine, twisting the cigarette in his hands. He glared at his notes, almost as if he were willing them to fix themselves. He took a long drag from the smoke in his hands. He scribbled down more notes, equations almost instantly forming on the paper. A tap on his back made Sans jolt, tearing him away from his thoughts. 

"Oh. Hey Alphys. What's up?" 

"O-oh i-i-its nothing. Just t-that it-its getting late and i-if you w-wanna s-s-tay, you'll h-have to close u-up the lab by yours- self..." Alphys pushed the glasses higher up her nose, dangling the keys in her hands. 

"Sure. No pro-" an explosion interrupted Sans. Alphys chuckled nervously.

"M-must've le-left one of m-my machines o-on." Alphys turned to leave.

"WATCH OUT!" Sans pulled Alphys back with his magic, grabbing onto her soul and setting her down behind him. The door to his office blew inward, sending glass shattering and apparatus cracking and chemicals spilling across the floor. 

"Hands in the air squirts!" Several figures dressed in black could be seen as the smoke from the explosion cleared. 

"Sure. If you wanna have a bad time." Sans growled. He threw his hand up into the air. Bones came up from the ground, slamming into one of the intruders. A rattling sound as guns opened fire. It would've hit Sans except a bluish shield protected him. "I'm more than a skeletist, kiddos." He ducked a blow, slamming his fist into the attacker's nose before palming the forehead of the man, causing him to stagger backward and trip over his own feet. 

\------------ Several Hours Later 

There were about 20 men strewn across the lab, groaning in pain, dead or unconscious. That left 7 men against Sans and Alphys. The latter cowering in a corner and forgotten by the intruders.

"What do you want?!" Sans yelled, not for the first time. 

"A hostage." A voice came from behind him. An unexpected reply. Sans twisted around, creating a barricade of bones and shoving the man away from him. Sweat beaded across his forehead

More men had come in without Sans' knowledge. They had with them chains attached to open cuffs at the end. They swung it at Sans who blocked and retaliated with magic bones. He could feel his magic running low already. Just as he was about to run through a man with a bone, a familiar shriek came from a corner. He whipped around. 

The man who'd spoken earlier had his arm around Alphys, a blade pressing against her throat. 

"Drop the bone Mr. Sans. Or Dr Alphys here will get more than a bruise." 

Sans wavered. "How do you know me?"

"I have my contacts. And besides, you're well known for your... skill both in the lab and in the battlefield." 

"Let Alphys go."

"Not unless you give yourself up. You've been fighting for hours. Aren't you tired?" 

Sans gritted his teeth. The man was right though. He was on his last reserves of his magic and lack of sleep, food and the wine earlier weren't helping. He only had enough magic to teleport twice. Just himself... just one person... Sans dropped the bone. The man smiled and relaxed his grip on Alphys. 

In an instant Sans was by Alphys' side. He shoved the man away. Sans, gripping Alphys' arm, whispered a soft, "sorry" into her ear knocking her out and teleporting away. 

\-------------

 

Sans opened his eyes. Alphys was gone. He was still here. In the lab. She was presumably at Undyne's place. A chain swung at him and Sans batted it away weakly. He ducked another chain before a cuff knocked him off his feet. Soon he was surrounded and cuffs locked onto his wrists, ankles and neck. 

The man growled. "How unfortunate that we lost Dr. Alphys. That's alright I suppose. You are worth millions more than that lizard creature." Before Sans could ask what he meant, he was knocked out.


	2. Capture

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter one than before. But I'm excited. Enjoy!
> 
> -Experiments  
> -Grillby's actually pretty softy  
> -Leon is a prick

Sans groaned. The sound came out muffled. His eyes shot open. A gag had been tied around his mouth and chains weighed him down heavily, connected to the cuffs on his wrists and ankles. He was chained to a chair bolted down to the middle of a cage. 

He was in a room with barely any light. The room smelt of blood. There were cameras mounted along the walls and the bars of the cage. He tried to use his magic but found he couldn't access it. Sans' eye flicked before fading back to its black. 

Where was he? His clothes? Still the same as yesterday's. Alphys... the lab... he'd saved her. Oh Asgore please let her be safe. The wall to the room slid away, revealing a man in a suit. The man from earlier. The man who'd spoken. Who'd known his name. 

He had piercing blue eyes and sharp features. High cheekbones and a dark smile. He was accompanied by two other man, both shorter - twins. But one had a reddish tinge to his blonde hair. Both had grey eyes and they were well muscled - not exactly ripped though. More lean really. 

The gate to the cage opened and the twins moved forward to unchain him.  
"Hello Sans. Had a-"

Sans lunged forward, throwing off the the twins who were caught off guard by the movement. The man took a step back. He spun under one of their grabs. Sans was about to headbutt the other twin when a shock ran through from the cuffs. He screamed against the gag, falling to his knees.

He thrashed, as voltage after voltage scrambled up from each cuff, shaking him to the bone. It eased but ever so slowly. Blood dripped from his bones, splashing onto the floors of the cage.

Sans was surprised. Sweating blood only ever came in extreme cases of pressure or stress. He didn't feel stressed... 

The man kneeled down beside Sans' prone figure, which shook still from the electrocution.

"As I was saying. Had a nice rest? My name is Leon. This one here," he gestured to the red headed twin,"is Zen. The other is Jim." He tilted Sans' head up to look his captor in the eye. 

"These cuffs prevent you from using magic. It also will send out electrical shocks, as demonstrated earlier, if you are not cooperative." 

Sans jerked away and received a jolt. He was dragged to his feet and out of the room. The sudden flood of bright lights blinded Sans and he dropped his head to avoid it. He realized he was barefooted.

The cuffs restricted his movement and made walking, using his arms - which were cuffed behind his back - and breathing even, difficult. 

The gag stank as well but Sans ignored it a best as he could. He kept his head low. He was so tired. He slumped, allowing himself to be fully dragged to wherever they were taking him.

Suddenly, he was hoisted off his feet and onto a tiltable lab chair. Straps went around his thighs, body and arms, head, and feet, securing him to the chair. Sans couldn't move his head but out of the corner of his eye, he could see... apparatus. And it was the kind you used to fix equipment. Drills, saws, screwdrivers. Above him was some sort of machine with a sharp tip pointing dangerously at his head.

"Start filming." He heard Leon's voice come from behind him. He was starting to hate that voice

\------Meanwhile

"Al! ALPHYS!" Alphys groaned. Her girlfriend was calling her. Whatever for? A soft beeping sound shook her from her slumber. Her head ached and throat was sore. 

"U-undyne? Wuh?" 

"Alphys. What. Happened." Undyne had her lizard friend held tightly by the arms, staring into her eyes.

"I... I'm i-in the ho-hospital? Wh-what... oh no. Oh no oh no no no no nononono." Alphys shook, fear dimming her eyes. Looking around her, she saw everyone. The whole gang. Asgore, Toriel, Frisk, Papyrus, Undyne, Grillby, Mettaton...

She started to cry, and in short broken and stuttering sentences, told them what had occurred.

Undyne slammed her fist into a wall, causing bits of plaster to rain down on them. Grillby cursed so colourfully, Toriel had to cover Frisk's ears, despite her older age. Grillby's outburst shocked them all. He was such a quiet and controlled monster. 

"H-how l-l-long have I b-been out?"

"73 hours darling" Mettaton answered. 

"We've searched for Sans during that time but no sign of him. We even called the police. They did help us for the first 24 hours but... they..." Toriel trailed off.

"Those bastards decided it was a 'lost cause'. Our greatest fighter and scientists just got kidnapped by some psychos, our royal lab and researcher attacked, by HUMANS mind you and they decide to DROP IT. You guys are our friends! I betcha if humans got attacked by monsters, they'd be on the case ASAP!" Undyne rattled off in anger.

"All we can do is wait." Asgore murmured, resting a big furry paw on Undyne's shoulder. Everyone seemed to have forgotten about Papyrus but Grillby saw him shaking out of the corner of his eye. 

He put a hand on Papyrus who lifted his tear stained head. "Come." He tugged the distraught skeleton brother out the door of the hospital room. "How are you?"

Papyrus's eyes glowed a deep orange at the question. "What kind of... of monster would... would take.. take my brother! He was the best brother! He.. he took care of me. I never told him I didn't really hate his puns! And I didn't ask him how he was at work! He was lazy and infuriating but he was my brother! I ... I just. I just want him back! " Papyrus sobbed hard, turning away from Grillby.

A sizzling sound made Papyrus look back at Grillby and much to his surprise, the fire elemental had tears in his eyes, dripping down before it evaporated.

"You... you loved him too, didn't you?" Grillby nodded silently. "More than a friend...?" Grillby flushed but he didn't deny it either. A familiar ping rang from Papyrus's back pocket.

"ITS SANS!!" Papyrus's face lit up as he scrambled to pull out his phone. Both skeleton and elemental dashed back into the room. "ITS SANS! HE TEXTED ME! HE -" Papyrus voice softened. "He... he never sends videos..." 

"Play it." Frisk signed angrily. 

Papyrus did as told and they gathered around Alphys so she could see from the bed.

\------------

"Hello Papyrus and whoever you're watching it with. I assume this is so because your brother... is quite a popular little skeleton." The man raised his head from the camera. "I have a message for you. Stay. Away. From us. Your kind is not welcome here. You are monsters and you will be treated as such."

The man moved further still and there were clanking noises as he disappeared from the camera's view. Instead, showing Sans strapped tightly to a dental chair, heavily cuffed with a gag tied in his mouth.

Defiance burned bright in his eyes as he stared slightly off the camera, presumably at the man. The man reappeared, this time wearing gloves, a mask and holding on to some complicated looking device. 

There were several other men and women in the room who began hooking Sans up to a machine. Some sort of pads were taped onto his skull, cheekbones, beneath his clothes, legs, feet and arms. The chair was tilted back so he was facing some sort of pointy machine that had large glass cylinders attached. 

There was a silent pause and then incomprehensible words were exchanged between the people. The man who had spoken before pressed a button. 

A crackle of electricity and the cuffs came to life, glowing bright blue, humming loudly. Someone removed the gag and Sans gulped for air, refusing to scream.

He thrashed but the straps allowed little to no movement. His eye glowed blue and magic poured from his eye sockets and open mouths into the machine. Purple tinged the bright blue light.

"Right now, we're testing a theory. Monsters create magic. And Sans in particular, has an almost endless supply. Strongest in fact, thanks to our tests and observations. But you see, Earth is running out of its natural sources to power our cities."

"And Sans holds enough magic to power not just one, but at least the whole of New York City and beyond that. What's more, monsters are immortal, and their magic refuels. Why waste nature's most long lasting and useful resource?" The man spoke. "Draining him of magic does no harm. In theory." 

Magic continued to flow out of Sans, drawn into the machine's tip above and filling the glass cylinders. There was a pause as the cylinders had to be exchanged for empty ones. Sans panted, bloody sweat staining his bones and clothes, his eyes sustaining the dark purple glow.

A pale looking man stepped forward and check Sans' vitals before adding more pads. He injected some greenish liquid into Sans' arm. Sans spat blood, straight at the man. It hit dead on and the man snapped, jerking the syringe out roughly and drawing blood. The machine was quickly turned back on and this time, Sans screamed.

Tears, glowing blue from the magic, flowed down his eye sockets. The scream only grew louder and more frantic. It slowed as they made another exchange of cylinders. 

"Stop you -" Sans let out a string of curses which earned him a shock that lasted long and loud, sparks jumping off his bones. He was hooked up once again and the procedure repeated almost another 4 times. Sans was unconscious and soaked in his own blood and sweat by the time they were finished. 

"Oh and don't even try getting him back. We'll only harm him more if I find out you've been digging. However, I'm nice enough. If you pay me $1,000,000, every 2 months, you'll get to see Sans through a film... maybe a... video chat. Just to ensure he's kept alive and well. Leave the money in District 11, block 298. A single cent less than required and you'll receive a video worse than this one."  
The man waved, laughing darkly.

"Tata little monsters."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next one coming soon hopefully! Thanks for dropping by to read my work.


	3. Torture

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -People comply  
> -More in-depth into Sans' torture  
> -Whipping  
> -Sans is growing  
> -skinny Sans(?!)  
> -Buzz cuffs   
> -Amputation
> 
> Sorry if this is short again. Haha. Whoooopsies.

Papyrus sank to his knees, slamming his palm repeatedly into the floor, tears dripping from his eye sockets. Grillby stood in mute horror. Alphys, Toriel, Frisk and Mettaton were reduced to a mess of tears. Undyne struggled to hold back her tears and so did Asgore.

"W-what do we do?" Toriel murmured, voice shaky with emotion.

"SICK BASTARD!" Papyrus screamed from the floor. "I'M GOING TO MURDER HIM. I'M GONNA... I'M gonna..." he choked on a sob, covering his face.

Alphys was practically wailing. "I-i should've h-helped. I d-didn't k-k-know how! I-I'm s-so so-sorry!" 

"It's not your fault sweetheart." Mettaton said softly.

"We'll have to listen to the man for now... do we even have that much money?" Grillby asked. 

 

"I think I have enough to cover the costs for a few months." Asgore answered.

"Honey, better idea. We all chip in. Gotta help Papyrus sweetheart too. He's got school and royal guard training isn't that right?" Mettaton brightened, finally finding comfortable, less emotional grounds to stand on.

Papyrus protested but they all eased his worries. It wouldn't be so hard for them anyway, they assured him.

\-------------  
A sharp pain in his eye sockets and a kick to his chest brought Sans out of his slumber. 17 days. He repeated the number in his head. 17,17,17,17,17,17. 

"Wakey wakey. Morning Sans. How do you like your new look?" Leon smiled, pulling a mirror out. Sans ignored the glass in front of him and spat at Leon. 

Fortunately for Leon, he moved fast enough that the mirror got splattered instead. Sans' eyes widen as he caught a good look at himself.

He had grown thinner and much paler. Sans didn't even know he could become this thin. A crack came from beneath his left eye, running down to his cheek. Another scar, one he had gotten several days after the video, was at the corner of his lip, jagging from across his nose to the bottom of his lip. 

A memory of a whip flashed across his mind. His own screams ringing in his head and watching his own blood literally flood the floor and -

Sans shook his head, looking away from the mirror. He hadn't spoken or eaten, only screamed in the time of his captivity. He didn't want to think about that.

"I have good news for you Sans. Today, you can see your friends! For 2 hours. But only because I'm nice. However, say anything nasty, and we will take your brother too." Leon said this last part with a smile, but his voice darkened. Leon dragged Sans from what he was now calling it the Draining Chair, through a door. 

They walked several stairs down before they came to a smaller room consisting only of a computer, a desk and a chair. As well as metal loops in the tiny room for the chains to be attached to.

They went through the normal procedure, setting Sans down, chaining him in tightly, strapping him to the chair, making sure his hands were behind him still. 

They never allowed him much movement on his own. Sans could barely remember how it felt like to raise his own hand to wave. Or even how it felt to walk. 

The computer flickered on and several faces filled the screen. Sans could feel his soul tighten with emotion. Shame and love filled him all at once. He was filthy, still wearing the same clothes he'd been caught in. Blood and dirt stained his face and he probably smelt worse than he looked.

Tears dripped down, sending streaks of white as the dirt was washed away.

"Paps... I'm sorry." He croaked. He hadn't talked in so long and his throat was sore from screaming. He sounded darker. Lower.

Sans watched his brother struggling to not break into a sobbing mess and that only made him cry harder. 

"ITS ALRIGHT SANS... WHAT... WHAT DID THEY DO TO YOU?" Papyrus attempted to sound brighter.

"They just gotta bone to pick with me bro. Magic has a pretty light show. They all just want to watch me burn out." Sans forced out a laugh and took in a shaky breath. "How's... Alphys? She made it out fine?"

"P-Perfectly." Alphys herself popped up, trying to look into the camera. 

"What... what did they do to you?" Grillby repeated Papyrus's question.

"..." Sans glanced at Leon who stood by the door. He didn't seem bothered or agitated by the question so Sans answered, treading slowly. 

"They... gave me drugs. To increase my body size. Hopefully to... to deal with the sudden loss of magic everytime. As you can see from this huge crack in my head, I definitely need to grow. Haha. Don't worry Paps. Once I get outta here, I'll be just as tall as you. Maybe I'll lose some weight!" Sans gave a smile, hoping to ease the worried pitied looks he was being given.

Instead, Papyrus started to cry. "I love you Sans. Just the way you are." 

Undyne nodded her own aggressive agreement. "Hang in there Sans. We'll get you out."

"Sure if you can stop them from dra-" A small buzz of electricity shot out through his cuffs. Sans coughed, covering up the short scream bubbling up in his throat. 

"T-that's alright. No need to- GNNNNNNNN!" He gasped, the pulse growing stronger. "S-sorry. HNNG...." he panted, shooting a look at Leon.

"Sans!" Toriel scrunched her brows in worry.

"guhhn.. no worries. Just got some... cramps haha." Sans grinned, sweat breaking across his forehead. The rest of the conversation went smoothly. 

Sans directed it away from his capture, or much of anything going on inside this wretched place after that. When it was time to leave, there were loads of tears. Sans cried a good amount as well, especially when Grillby and Undyne started crying.

"Haahhhh.. you guys gotta turn off the water works. You're gonna make Grillby lose his heat." He murmured. Sans was about to say more but the feed was cut off.

\---

Sans threw back his head, screaming. The blade sawed through bone, neatly cutting off the bone of his big toe. Purple glowed in his eyes through the blindfold and he screamed again, a flame held close to the bleeding wound to seal it. 

The glow shone brighter before blasting out, like purple flash lights. It was agony. Oh Asgore. It hurt so bad. Leon patted Sans' head almost gently. 

"It's okay Sans. It's over now. You'll think better before pulling that trick again won't you?" 

"Screw you! YOU'RE FUCKING SICK! DIE! I HOPE YOU DIE A HORRIBLE PAINFUL DEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHGHH..." he screamed as someone dug the knife back into the amputated toe. 

He gasped, saliva and blood running down from his mouth. "I don't regret trying to live you bastard! You're crazy! My magic can't- mmmmppffhh." He bit down hard, grinding his teeth against a jolt of electricity.

"Oh how cute you are Sans. Do you want a live demonstration on how your magic can power things around you?" The blindfold was ripped off and Sans squeezed his eyes shut against the blinding light that suddenly flooded his vision.

The dental chair he was strapped to whirred, pulling him to an upright position. A glass wall was on the opposite side where he could see cylinders filled with glowing, fluorescent blue liquid. His own magic. 

A tube was attached to a cylinder, pumping the magic into another, smaller opaque one. It had an extension with some sort of cone at the tip. A man in a suit came in, dragging a floppy dog monster behind. A greater dog. One of the less known ones, but one Sans knew well enough to have a drink with now and then. 

The greater dog was tied to a chair and the man picked up the opaque object, pressing a trigger and aiming the cone at the greater dog. Blue sparks flew from the cone.

"No... Nonono. STOP IT. DON'T -" A roar of fire exploded from the cone and the magic in the cylinder began to lower slightly as the bluish fire burned at the feet of the greater dog. 

"STOP. I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY I'M SORRY I'M SORRY JUST PLEASE DON'T HURT HIM. PLEASE PLEASE NOOO!" Sans thrashed against the straps, watching helplessly as the greater dog's feet began to burn.

The greater dog began to yelp in pain, lurching back and forth as it tried to squirm away. Fur and flesh and bone melted almost. The man aimed the fire higher. Sans couldn't tear his eyes away.

"THIS. Is what your magic can do. You see? You cannot help but harm those around you." Leon said over the roaring flames. 

Tears dripped from Sans' eye sockets. Before long, a pile of ash and melted bits of fur were left. Sans hung his head, sobbing.

\-----------Weeks Later

The whip cracked down across bones. Sans' arms shuddered, refusing to cry out or buckle under the pain. "S-ixte-een" he gritted out between clenched teeth.

His arms, for the first time, were forced above his head, making him tiptoe so his arms wouldn't be pulled out of their sockets. He was stripped of all his clothing, revealing the entirety of the human skeletal system.

The whip came down again, and the bone began to bruise, before they broke open and blood gushed out from the wounds. "S...six..teen?"

"Wrong. Back to one again."

Sans counted each crack of the whip until he reached 40 did they let him down and chain him back up again. They'd cuffed him up as usual but now, they strapped him to a wheelchair.

He had indeed grown taller. Almost twice as tall than he was before. However, the lack of movement had made him physically very weak. Sans couldn't find the strength to walk, and can barely eat or talk for himself although screaming was no issue, Sans thought bitterly.

Leon stared at Sans as he was wheeled out of the 'Torture Chamber'.

"Why won't you break!" Leon slapped Sans and a whip burn broke open, bleeding. Sans coughed, smiling weakly. "Back to the DR9.4" Leon barked at Jim and Zen. Sans widened his eyes.

He'd just been drained approximately 3 hours ago. He took at least 20 to regain all the magic he'd lost - especially the rate and amount of magic he lost affected him greatly. Sans moved in protest against the straps as the wheeled him into the room. 

Before long, they'd hooked him up, and started the machine. The familiar whirr sent chills down his spine. Sans gasped as he felt the familiar pull on his soul.

As they dragged out whatever was left of his magic inside him. Blue light spilled from his lips and eye sockets, drawn into the point above. He felt his soul shudder as the machine sucked and pulled, searching for magic that wasn't there. 

At first, the pull was almost comforting. But it got harsher and harsher, the machine getting desperate to fill it's empty cylinders. 

A moan escaped Sans, his soul shaking. He remembered the last time they'd done this. It had almost killed him, cracking his skull, just below his eye. He didn't resist this time.

There was no point in living anymore. Even when he was back home with Papyrus, the urge to cut too deep, cut himself in the dangerous places had been strong. 

Even then, the yearning for death had been there. He could feel his right eye cracking. Shuddering as a scream built up in his chest. The pain was unbearable.

His vision blurred, and for a second, a thought occurred to him. Timelines and resetting did exist... Time travelling existed. Could he… all the speculation was shoved away as his soul cracked again, sending millions of jolting pain through his bones. He heard voices, faintly, before he blacked out.


	4. Finding a Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING  
> -Implied[?] Rape  
> -Weird box thing idk how to describe whoopsies!  
> -All mixed up  
> -I wanna cry just writing this  
> -A small look into the other's lives.  
> -Too much Sansy torture
> 
> Enjoy! If you're not comfortable with this, you may feel comfortable leaving. Please stay and give some love tho :D

"What do you mean we can't talk to him! We've paid you! Let us see him!" Asgore pleaded.

Leon growled. "I am in control of this negotiation, Monster. Do not speak to me in such a manner or you will not see him again." The camera shifted but not before Papyrus caught a stressed look cross the man's face.

"Let us see him at least." Papyrus practically whispered.

There was a silence. Then the camera shifted showing a hospital bed. Grillby was surprised at how big Sans had grown in 2 months. Sans had always been a short skeleton. Now, he fit in the hospital bed that he would normally look tiny in.

A new crack had appeared since the last time. It stretched above his right eye, and at the top of his skull, the crack split in two. He was thinner and almost as white as the sheets.

The camera quickly shifted back to show Leon's furious features. "Enough. We're done for today. I expect another payment soon."

The feed blinked out.

Frisk played back the whole video. They'd taken to recording the video chats they had with the man they now knew as Leon. They skipped back to where Sans had been revealed.

Wires were attached to his body and an oxygen mask was wrapped around his nose. A wheelchair could be seen at the corner of the camera's view and Sans' feet peeked out from under the flimsy blanket. There were welts and fresh cuts wherever bone was exposed. Thankfully he had on different, more hospital like clothes and he was cleaner.

"We have to get him out." Frisk signed, frustrated. "Almost 5 months have passed."

"Sweetheart, we've tried but you know what happens." Toriel stroked Frisk's head.

Frisk shuddered. The video had been scarring, but Frisk had insisted on seeing it. If Sans could bear the torture, she would bear seeing it. She wanted to reset. She wished she could reset. But after they'd left the Underground, her abilities to reset had been unstable. She'd reset a few times, when she thought no one would notice. At least, not Sans. But she hadn't ended up at her save point. Sometimes she landed before her save point or after. Frisk was too afraid she'd jump back too far to reset again. Besides, her promise…

\-----------

Sans thrashed in his sleep. He tore at the thing over his nose and lips. It was choking him, suffocating him. The black inky monster laughed, drawing it's claws across his arm. Pain slammed into his wrists and he shot awake. He gasped, the beeping sound of the heart monitor loud in his ears. The straps were still tight around his wrists and ankles.

Sans moaned, discomfort itching at the back of his brain. He tilted his head - at least he didn't have a head strap this time - and stared at his bound arms. The edge of the bed was strangely sharp and he began rubbing his wrist and upper arm against it as best as he could. Blood began to stain the mattress, dripping onto the floor. He was getting tired fast.

He didn't want to stop. He wanted this to end. He didn't want to - the door banged open and a nurse rushed in.

"Nononono you cannot do that!" The lady had some sort of German accent. She adjusted Sans' strap so it was further away from the edge and closer to his body.

As she refilled the bag of fluids that fed him, tears dripped from his eyes. He opened his mouth to try and tell her, to thank her maybe because she was the only one who seemed to care, but he couldn't find the strength to talk.

She noticed the way he struggled, not against the straps, but rather trying to speak. His mouth formed words and she tried to guess what he was saying. She grabbed a bottle of water and slowly dripped some into his mouth, wetting his lips and throat.

"T-t-thank... you..." he mumbled. She smiled at him, stroking his head. Seeing the troubled look in his eyes, she sang to him until he fell asleep. She left the room quietly, smiling sadly at the skeletal figure on the hospital bed.

She was never seen again.

\------------------

Sans was dragged into the bedroom. He'd been defiant again. Disobedient. Uncooperative. Leon knew a way to settle this. Once and for all. He called several men into a room. The room consisted of a pole, a mattress, and as usual, rings for the chains to be attached to.

"Do whatever you like to him. So long as he is obedient after." Leon instructed them.

Sans was chained to the post. At first it was only beatings. But then the men began to strip him of his clothes. They began to rock their hips together, grinding. Horror and realization dawned upon Sans. He found the strength to protest.

"P-please. P-p-please s-stop. N-no." He shrank away, but one of the men held him down while the other unzipped his pants. "Please stop- no-"

His words were cut off as the man slammed into him with a groan of pleasure.

\----------------------

Sans curled up in the wheelchair, shaking. His eye hurt. His lower body hurt. There were bite marks all over his body and odd stains along his clothes, his left eye, mouth and pelvic area. He shakily looked at the clock. 19 days... how long did he have to endure...

how much more. Images flashed across his eyes. Grinding, moaning, coming. Stuck between two men. He couldnt stop them. Sucking and licking and - NO. The violation made him sick and he dry heaved again.

Leon entered the room, closing the door gently behind him. He knelt down, stroking Sans' head. Sans flinched, tucking himself closer. A shock rippled across his body and he whimpered. "Will you be obedient now?"

Sans shuddered, as Leon loomed closer. Sans nodded, silently begging to please - no - stop.

"I still don't think you've learnt your lesson." Leon murmured. He pressed his lips to the skeleton's teeth. He unchained Sans, gesturing for him to kneel.

Sans began to beg, “p-please no I don't want to - p-please! No. n-no -”

\---

Sans threw up as the rocking against his hips slowed. He gripped the sheets beneath him tightly, vomit still rising inside him. With every heave, he felt more giddy and pain wracked his bones but he couldn’t stop. He groaned as his body emptied itself, hacking and gagging when he finally stopped.

He felt weak. Violated. He didn't bother to lift a hand to clean off the bits of vomit stuck to him. He was just so tired. Leon stood up, leaving him chained. When the man was gone, Sans curled up and cried.

\--------------

Sans was left with the collar on. His arms were strapped to the wheelchair's armrest, his feet strapped tightly to the wheelchair also. His neck was also strapped to the wheelchair's back so he could still barely move.

Technology had improved and they'd found a way to continuously drain Sans but not take away his magic completely. This way, he was always powering something. His magic had only grown in its capacity and regeneration during his time down here. He had a black box like object they called the drainer that was attached to his head. He'd had a surgery to have the thing stuck permanently there, connected to his spine.

Tubes led from the box, into glass cylinders. It pulsed every now and then, pushing out magic through the tubes, filling the cylinders. More tubes connected to his arms, leading to IVs feeding him food and water. A breathing mask was nearby if he ever needed it which was almost always. He had difficulty breathing these days. He barely slept, if at all, plagued by nightmares.

Leon smiled. The skeleton was fairly obedient. If he wasn't, a small beating or a _'meeting'_ with Leon was enough to school Sans back into a perfect doll. Sans had refused to speak to his family. Which was fine by Leon. Not that the skeleton could speak anyhow. He had finally found a way to break Sans' spirit.

Almost a year had passed. The monsters were getting bolder, desperately trying to get their friend back. But they would never find him. A reason why Leon hadn't really bothered with sending them too many videos. Let them think they had a chance.

Leon glanced at Sans figure. He was staring at the computer screen. It didn't show much except for his own heartbeat. Leon would have gladly let Sans loose to be honest but Sans had a habit of self-destruction. Hence the many straps. He would drag his bones across anything sharp, even across blunt objects he would try to harm himself.

That was one thing Leon could not break in Sans. It was frustrating but at least, easier to deal with. Sans twitched. Involuntary movement perhaps. Sans was always doing that nowadays.

Leon worried that the stress might be taking a toll on Sans body and mind... but he trusted the stats. Sans was an amazing creature. Strong and determined. Filled with so much power. How selfish these monsters were. To keep all that power to themselves.

Sans groaned, and his heartbeat increased rapidly. He opened his mouth, gasping for air. Leon gestured for a nurse to settle him. He would have to deal with this weakness. It made their project too fragile.

\--

Sans jerked against the straps. His thoughts wouldn't leave him alone. They haunted him every minute. He was back there in the room one moment, begging for release. And the next, he was in the cage, the mask forcing him to breathe. 

Leon had expressed his concern about his "weakness". Sans knew things were going to get worse. Every time Leon didn't like something, some new experiment began. Sans was too tired from the permanent draining to fight back. Much. The fear of... of... of worse things happening grew. He tried to stop it. He couldn't afford to be a mental case. He needed to stay sane. For Papyrus. 

The walls slid open and the twins came in. He couldn't really remember their names. The unstrapped him, unplugging the tubes from the drainer, from his arms and chest. Then, they blindfolded him. They were dragging him down the halls, his bare feet against the cold tiles. His toes ached from the sensation. Sans missed his toes. Well, most of them that were missing anyway. 

Sometimes, he thought he could feel them and he would try wiggling them but pain would shoot through his bones and he would be reminded that they were gone. Permanently. 

-

The beating lasted even after Sans had passed out. They'd strung him up, before whipping his back and pelvis. Then, they'd brought him down and strapped him to a table. Scalpels and drills brought to his legs. He'd kicked and screamed. Then, they'd poked at his ribs, at his soul.

A shiver ran through his bones and he flushed. They messed with his soul, prodding and poking at it.  A look had passed between the twins who stood watching behind. They broke every bone just to see how long it'd take him to heal. How much pain could he handle before he was out? A lot. They'd practically broken every rib and both his legs, shattering his ankles. They'd started on his pelvis before he was out, sweet oblivion swallowing him up.

They'd put him in a room built of magic resistant walls. The collar had been taken off and he'd been placed in the room.  He brought up his blasters, bones and threw everything at the walls around him. Not even a scratch. He tried to teleport out but only ended up at the ends of the room. After several hours, drained and tired of trying, he slumped against the walls, crying. 

He didn't even bother anymore, even when they came in and cuffed him again.

\-----------

Grillby flipped through the photos. One of Sans drunk. Another of Sans holding a bottle of condiments - ketchup - in his hand. He missed Sans. He loved Sans so much, it hurt just thinking of his absence. He loved him more than a friend. More than brothers should love. A relationship he'd been afraid to make.

The fact that Sans didn't want them to see him anymore was heartbreaking. He wanted to be there for Sans. Even if he couldn't see him. A single year... Sans birthday was today. And he was missing. Tortured. A test. Nothing more. At least not to the humans.

To Grillby, Sans was everything.

Sans knew how to make Grillby laugh. Knew when Grillby needed his quiet moments, and when he needed that company. Sans was almost always there in his bar, even Aboveground. Nothing there in the bar he worked now was very appealing but Sans came anyway just to keep Grillby company. He even went out to have a smoke or a drink together.

The night before Sans had been taken, Grillby had sensed something off about the short little skeleton - that wasn't so short and little anymore. Sans had teleported away before he could ask further. He even missed Sans' teleporting. How he would just randomly pop up in a flash of blue. Every time he saw Sans, an overwhelming feeling of love and affection would come over him and Grillby would want to hug Sans, plant a kiss on that pun filled lips of his.

Oh how he wished he'd been brave enough to confess this... this emotion. He dropped his head into his hands, breathing heavily. He just hoped Sans was okay. That he was still alive. That there was still hope. The search was still on going. Life had moved on however. Grillby had to return to his job. He hated it. He wanted to stay and search, to find some sort of clue that Sans was still salvageable. That he could be found.

\------------

Papyrus walked up the stairs to his bedroom. His feet moved towards his bed but his head turned toward Sans' bedroom. How many times had he ended up in there? He didn't even remember anymore. He was barely ever in his own bedroom, often sleeping in Sans room, clinging onto the sheets, burying his head to catch the familiar but now fading smell of his brother.

He walked slowly towards his brother's room. He paused at the door. It was too clean. It wasn't Sans like at all. It suddenly irked Papyrus. It was an itch so bad he needed to fix it.

He threw open Sans' cupboard, flinging every article of clothing onto the ground, the bed, the furniture. Once he was done, he turned to admire his work.

And then, he collapsed, crying and hugging the clothes on the floor. He missed Sans so bad. It was quiet without his brother's puns. Without the constant smell of condiments, or wine or smoke from his latest burnt out cigarette.

He needed his brother back.

But he was not here.

\-------------

Frisk stood at the front of her school gate, turning her head to look for Sans. He was late again. He would probably apologize about being held up. Frisk didn't mind though. He was -

She blinked. Sans wasn't here anymore. He wasn't going to pick her up. Not now and not ever. She fell back, sitting down heavily. He wasn't ever going to come by in his teleporting little tricks. He wasn't going to come over to her home while her Mom, Toriel was out. He wasn't going to bake and fail alongside her. She would not hear his laughter or his puns again. Or cringe whenever he drank ketchup or whatever condiments he found lying around. 

Frisk dropped her head between her knees, sobbing. She didn't know how long she sat there crying. She only knew it was dark by the time Toriel came searching for her.

\-------------

Toriel grinned, placing the pie into the oven. It was Tuesday and Sans always came over to have some of her pie and share some puns too. She laughed at the thought. Asgore peeked into the kitchen.

"Hi Sweetie, whats so funny?"

"Oh, I was just thinking of Sans and his puns. He's going to come over soon. Its Tuesday remember?"

"Honey... Sans is gone..." Toriel stopped smiling then. 

"Oh... Oh right..." She laughed tightly, forcing a smile.

A tear fell.

Asgore went over and hugged her tightly.

"Its been a year! I... I should know that but... I don't know why Asgore. Its just been a few awful days and I miss making puns with him..." Toriel hugged him back, crying freely now.

"I know Tori. I know." Asgore couldn't stop the few tears leaking from his eyes either as the two stood hugging.

\-------------

 _SANS._ Someone called. It repeated again and again in the darkness. A gender-less voice. A voice he couldn't place. Then someone was biting him. Aroused, Sans

\- Opened his eyes and screamed, thrashing against the straps. A sudden surge of strength - adrenaline helped Sans tear free of the strap holding his left arm. He clawed at everything, gasping and screeching. He couldn't unsee it. Couldn't undo everything. He wanted to reset. Not just reset. To forget. Forgetforgetforget.

Where was Papyrus? Where was Grillby? Toriel? Frisk? His friends? Did they hate him? Could they find him? Maybe they'd forgotten about him. Maybe it was better this way. He deserved it. Oh he deserved it for complying to their wishes. He deserved to rot in this place. Papyrus deserved something better. Someone better.

He thrashed, reaching for the computers, in the process tearing out wires and pieces of bone. A lady with a syringe appeared out of nowhere. The tip sank into his shoulder, and the drug took effect. Sans tried to fight it, afraid of what they might do while he was asleep.He mumbled several words before drifting off to sleep.

\------------------

There was a call. Papyrus lunged for his phone. It was an unknown number but Papyrus tapped on the receive button anyway.

"HELLO. THE GREAT PAPYRUS HERE. WHO IS THIS?" soft breathing and for a second Papyrus almost ended the call, thinking it was a prank.

"I work for Leon. And I think I can get your brother out.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew. This left me crying. Brings up bad memories. Oh well. I'm on a roll atm and all the ideas are flooding in. I'm not sure how long I'll keep this torture up though, hah.
> 
> It may end sooner than I think. Good for all of us but I think we need more feels eh?


	5. Plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -People talk  
> -More torture  
> -albino people  
> -half-breeds?  
> -Sad Sans

Papyrus stopped his car near Mount Ebott. Memories resurfaced just seeing the mountain.

Sans laughing as he waved his hands, causing all the moving boxes to float. Sans taking a visit to Grillby's. Sans hugging his brother as they took one last look at their home. Their post now abandoned...

Papyrus slowed to a crawl, parking his car behind some trees. He'd come alone. If this was some sort of trick, he alone would be captured. He'd planned ahead of course. If he didn't check his phone in the next 5 hours, a text would automatically be sent to everyone. He climbed out of his car, stepping into the trees that surrounded the base of the mountain. Leaves crackled, branches snapped under his boots. Papyrus tightened his scarf around his neck, hugging his arms.

It was quiet. No crickets singing or water dripping as he thought the forest might. A snap of a branch off to his right. Papyrus swung his head, a bone materializing in his hands, ready to defend himself.

"Papyrus, am I right?" A pale looking man appeared. His hair was blonde to the point it was almost white, his clothes were darker in contrast to his light complexion. "I'm Tanner. I called a few weeks ago? Sorry I couldn't get to you sooner. I was caught uuupppp ohh... Oh."

"Is this a trick?" Papyrus asked, the bone in his hand thrusting forward, close to the man's nose. "This better not be."

"Oh no. Of course not... I've... I've kept track of your brother for a few months now. I live in this village nearby?" Tanner gestured vaguely behind him. "Yeah. We never used to have electricity. I mean, we do its just. We're kinda backed into the old age y'know? My village prefers to keep to tradition. So, this one time, this man? Yeah he came down with a load of trucks. Carrying these large cylinders filled with this blue stuff."

Papyrus didn't lower his arm, simply raising his eyebrows.

"This stuff... It was like some super generator. A drop of it could pretty much fix and power a broken tv. That stuff was magical! Shit man... They were giving it out by the loads. They had a ton of those cylinders. Huge ones, filled to the brim. After a few months, I got suspicious. I dug around, got a job with the man who'd dropped by. Leon." Tanner chuckled softly.

"And I found out they'd... somehow taken it from this skeleton. It was crazy! I did some digging, got close enough into his circle that he trusted me with information. I didn't like what was going on. I... I wan't to help him. Help you. I know it doesn't sound really believable but its the truth cut short and I-oof!"

Papyrus dropped the bone, pulling the man into a crushing hug.

\---

Sans swallowed hard. The drill got closer. Sans wondered if it was a mercy he was blindfolded and gagged. He could hear the loud whirring sounds as it drew closer. His rib cage rattled as his breathing sped up. The fear was crushing. The second the tip grazed his ankle, his eyes began to glow brighter. Purple reflected in the blindfold. 

It began to drill deeper, into the talus. He desperately wanted to jerk away. But knowing that if he did so, it would drag the drill away from it's drill point and force a restart. He didn't want that. 8 holes to be drilled. One on each ankle and four on each fibula, on top of one another in a neatly spaced row. He'd seen the drafts, the drawings put up around the medical room. His legs would have 8 holes permanently in them. Nothing he could do about it.

It was getting deeper. Ten seconds passed, and then twenty and thirty, and finally the pain started to spread. It wasn't slow like Sans would've liked it to be. It exploded, pounding, digging, aching. He screamed, clawing his arms at the straps. He bit down on the gag, glad for it. His eyes glowed brighter. By the time the drill was through, Sans eyes had begun to flash in rapid starts and stops, stuttering.

He gasped, swallowing back the bile that had begun to rise. He cursed as they drew out the drill, its edges rubbing against the newly made hole in his body. He could feel marrow, blood, pouring from the hole, slicking the table, spreading. He cursed the stupid drug that they'd injected, making his soul increase in health so they could test whatever they wanted on him. The drill hardly did anything to his increased health.

They started the drill again.

\--- 47 days

"We're going to enter through here. The guards will be crossing each other. It's super tight security. You'll probably only have 3 seconds to run across the entire stretch before another round of guards pass. It's the only entrance." 

"That's such a short amount of time."

"You're sure this is the only way?"

"Yeah, are you sure?"

"I'm sure. Look, I took a month observing those shifts. I'm not wrong on this."

"Alright then... 3 seconds? How are we going to get across?"

"No super speed."

"We'll have to make do. Unless one of you can teleport?"

"..."

"..."        "I guess not.."

\---

Sans swore, tears slipping down his cheekbones. He sat in front of a full body mirror, staring at himself. He was such a mess. He was tall. Taller than he'd ever been before. He reached up, fingers gently grazing over his cracks on his skull. The Drainer(D.R033) attached to his head looked terrifying. Its black wires twisting along his spine, following the curve of the top of his pelvic area, the lilac crest. It followed the back of his legs, twisting into the holes drilled in his legs before inserting into small circular objects at his ankles.

Removing it would potentially kill him, the inner back of his skull exposed. If they did manage to remove it, there was almost zero percent chance of him ever being able to move on his own again. It would damage his neck, spine, pelvis and legs.  Leon stood behind him, watching. Sans didn't care. His hip had been dislocated several times, and even now, after it had been set, it still looked slightly out of place. Scars and cracks covered his bones. 

His ribs also had been snapped several times. Some never healed properly, leaving white jagged lines across them. Some larger cracks than others.

The big toe and third toe on his left food had been sawed off as well as the the last two toes on his right. They were melted down to smooth the edges. Or maybe just to torture him with the pain, either way, Sans didn't bother. Deep cracks along his legs and bite marks on his shoulders, femurs, and arms. Everything in his right eye was blurry. 

As Sans looked at himself for real for the first time in a long while, he was filled with humiliation. And self hate. He swallowed hard, closing his eyes. Stupid. Any thought of him ever being normal again was wiped away. Tears poured, and Sans let it go. There was no point in wiping them away.

Leon laughed.

\---53 days

"They've moved him again. Somewhere further away. Underground."

"What? Again?"

"A-are they o-on to us?"

"I don't think so. It's probably precaution..."

"They're making it difficult for us that's for sure."

"We'll need to revise our plans. The shifts are different again."

"Its been too long!"

"We can't afford to make mistakes. We don't have a safer way of getting in and out."

\---186 days

_"AGAIN?!"_

"No shit."

"Is there a better way?"

"Can't you get him out yourself?"

"I'm not that trusted yet. And he's always handled by people of higher status. I'm stuck where I am right now. I'm just a village boy remember?"

"Yeah? Well if you don't find a way where we can rescue him albino, you're going to get more than a-"

"UNDYNE!"

"Well sorry! I'm just... just frustrated."

\---298 days

"This place is huge. I in a different facility. I'm trying to see if I can join them. Doesn't look like it though."

"This is the fourth time in 3 months. Tanner-"

"I know I know. I'm trying! I'm looking for any other... half-breeds. See if they've got abilities that could help us."

"What kind of abilities are we looking for?"

"Teleportation... Some kind of sneaky crap. We need to get in fast and get out faster."

"I'll try helping you look."

"Can't Alphys create something?"

"I-I t-told you. T-taking on a-a project s-so big r-requires e-e-equpiment I don't own."

"Guys, we're running low on that money we should be paying."

"Why do we even bother paying that man! We hardly even see Sans anymore!"

"UNDYNE!"

"He's given us videos. Pictures. He's kept to his word."

"Well he could be dead for all we know. Or its just a copy."

"But we don't know that!"

"AUGH. We're wasting time. It's been months now. They keep moving and they just-"

"Got it Undyne now lets move on."

\---

Sans screamed, choking on the tube. He thrashed. Oh Asgore. This burned so bad. It burned. Blood and alcohol spread along the tiles. They forced another bottle down his throat. He wished he were dead. Each drop of the alcohol that touched his open wounds felt like lava. He gagged as they pulled out the tube.

He turned to the side, retching. Hands forced him back down. He was dowsed in acid. It bit at his bones and he screamed, withering. End him now. What was the point of this torture. Just kill him.

\---

Sans looked down at himself. More cracks had appeared. His soul pulsed softly behind his ribs. Scars criss-crossed his soul, stitches sticking out. They'd touched his soul, testing it. Prodding it. Taking it apart. He didn't remember much. He only knew it had hurt.

That's all he remembered now. Pain. Torment.

He felt a bubble of laughter welling up inside him. He didn't know what he found funny. He just did. He began to laugh. And laugh he did. He threw back his head, jerking. He laughed and laughed until he was screaming, tears running down his face. He screamed louder and louder, laughter occasionally cutting through his hysterics. He scratched at the straps, mutilating his wrists.

All he remembered. Agony. Anguish. No one cared. No one cared anymore.

He was dead for all he cared.

_Forgotten._

_Broken._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter. Whew.


	6. Almost There[?]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING  
> -Rape  
> -Grillby's a big softie  
> -Sans torture  
> -Mute Sans  
> -Grillby feels bad  
> -Failure  
> -Undyne whyyyy!?  
> -Where the heck is Papyrus?

Sans opened his mouth in a silent scream as Leon came. There were several more thrusts before he finally pulled away. Sans shook, trembling on the mattress. He was covered in fluid, some in his eye, some stuck down his throat and staining his ribs and some staining his pelvis. He watched Leon carefully as he zipped up his pants and slipped on his jacket.

Leon paced the room, growling. Sans flinched whenever he came too close. Sans drew himself upright, panting from the effort and the earlier procedure. He hurt all over. They'd been going at him for hours but they didn't seem to want to stop.  
  
The black box in the back of his head throbbed sending waves of pain down his spine. He looked at his one free hand, the other being chained above his head to pole.  
  
The nightmares... no... they took him when he was asleep. He wouldn't sleep. He hadn't slept in... in... what day was it? What year? He felt like he was back Underground , stuck in resets. In a time loop. Never knowing when time would move on. Or when it would all stop  
  
He cried. He didn't have a voice anymore. Taken away by another draining that had gone too far. It wouldn't be coming back. He knew. Magic regenerated, but voices... this wasn't like some sore throat or cough.  
  
He had no voice. No sound. He couldn't stop them... he... his family... where were they? Did they hate him? They must... he couldn't remember names anymore. Barely his own. And only Leon's. He didn't want them to see him like that.

He didn't want them to see him... broken. They would only get themselves hurt. They would get him hurt. Maybe if - No. If there was one thing he remembered clearly... it was keeping his family safe.  
  
He hated those pitiful looks. Those nurses... his family was bound to look the same. Emotions swelled and engulfed Sans, almost like a lion leaping on its prey. Sans dragged his free arm roughly on a sharp crack in the wooden tiles. He was so weak nowadays, anything could bruise or cut him.  
  
He was cutting quite deep when an electrical shock buzzed him. He ignored it but slowed. His tolerance for pain had grown. A good or bad thing he didn't know. His mind was so messed up, thoughts pushing to find a spotlight in his head.

Leon appeared, grabbing him roughly. Sans winced, drawing away, curling up as best as he could.

"I told you to stop didn't I?" He snapped. Leon raised a hand, curling it into a fist. He punched Sans again and again. Blood began to pour from the cracks in his head, bruising.  
  
Sans gasped, as his head bumped backwards, the black machine smacking into the pole and sending more waves of pain all over his body. His vision wavered and all he could see was red. Blood mixing into the white liquid he was drenched in.

A faint ringing sound started up in the background, growing louder. A sharp whine that pierced through the air and Leon paused his onslaught.  
  
"No... impossible." He glanced at Sans who lay, beaten and battered on the ground. He cuffed Sans back up again, wrapping him in a sackcloth.  Leon mumbled several curses fumbling with the straps. He finally had it on tight when heavy clumsy footsteps thudded outside. There was a frantic knock and Leon before he could open the door, it was kicked off its hinges.

“Hello BASTARD!!”  
A bluish spear slammed straight through his thigh, blood spurting as Leon staggered backwards, yowling. Sans watched as a fish lady sauntered in, a fierce look in her face. He knew her. He knew he knew her. But he couldn't think of a name or where he'd seen her before.  
  
She looked around before finally noticing his frail frame strapped to the wheelchair. "Hey Sans! We finally caught up to this bastard here!" She grinned, sharp white teeth glinting in the dim lit room. “Lucky me, I got the right room.”

Sans couldn't think of her name still but decided against it. He couldn't speak anyway. A crackle of flames and Sans could see a fire elemental behind the fish lady. They moved closer and Sans whimpered, jerking.

“Hey Sans. It us… Grillby and Undyne.” The fire elemental murmured, reaching for the straps. Tears welled up. No he couldn't do this again. Not the-No… Gri… Grillby wouldn't do that. Friends. They were friends. Sans shuddered, trying to calm himself. What had gone so wrong that he couldn't remember?

Grillby looked down and his breath caught. Several of Sans' toes were missing and there were holes drilled up and along his legs, wires twisting in and out.

“Can you walk?” Grillby asked gently. Sans shook his head. “We'll get you out of these straps soon. Right now, we need to get out of here. There's no time for revenge... Undyne!”

They'd forgotten about Leon and a hard grip tightened around Undyne's ankle. With a roar, she practically sliced his hand off with a deft flick of her wrist. His hand hung by strand of flesh and muscle. A loud scream reverberated in the room and echoed still even after they'd left the room.

As they turned a corner, they saw several armed men marching towards them. “OKAY TURN TURN!” Undyne yelled. She had faster reflexes, ducking around the corner. A thud sounded behind her. Grillby cursed. Laser bars criss crossed. Undyne tried to pass the lasers but when they touched her skin, it left a burn and the smell of cooking flesh.

“GO UNDYNE. WE'LL CATCH UP WITH YOU LATER!” Grillby yelled over the roar of gunfire and explosions. The lie was too obvious but Undyne nodded, tears in her eyes.

“I'm sorry…”

“Go on Undyne. It's okay. I understand.” Grillby said firmly. He fought back as best as he could but he hadn't used much of his aggressive spells in a long time. Soon, he was surrounded. Sans sat in the wheelchair, a stony look on his face.

\-----------------

Grillby had been tied up with magic cuffs similar to those on Sans. He was forced to sit in a corner, chained to a chair. Grillby had been unconscious for several days and in that time, they'd moved facilities. He couldn't use his spells but the cuffs did nothing to dampen his fiery state. There was a glass wall opposite and he could see a room. He recognized the room. It was similar to the one which Sans' first torture had begun. Leon stood beside Grillby, his right hand only a stump wrapped in bloody bandages.

“This time, we'll work things differently.” Leon's voice shook with anger. There was a new apparatus sitting on a table. Some sort of drill and a laser pointer.

Sans was in the room opposite. He'd been strapped down, his hand in front of him. Positioned beneath a laser. He didn't seem to know what was going on, even as they strapped each finger under the drill.

Grillby’s eyes widened. “NO!”

They turned on the machine. The pain had to be excruciating. Sans jerked, his eyes turning into black soulless holes as he threw his head back. Grillby's own vision blurred with painful tears. Sans mouth opened in a scream. He didn't pass out. Grillby wished he would.

A neat hole had been drilled in the middle of his palm. The same thing went to his other hand. And Sans lurched, rocking in his wheelchair, purple glowing brighter in his eye sockets.

When they had finished, they left Sans slumped against the wheelchair. His shoulders shook. Blood stained the entire table and glass window, dripping onto the floor. Sans’ arms had been cuffed behind his back. The pieces of bone cut out from Sans' palms had been taken away.

“You're sick! You… you're CRAZY!” Grillby roared at Leon who smirked, not looking at the elemental.

“It's revenge. The fish cut off my hand. And injured my leg. I'm kind enough to still allow Sans use of both his hands. Besides. Those bone pieces won't go to waste. They'd be used to power some sort of appliance temporarily. Until the pieces runs out of magic.” Grillby felt nauseous.

There was a pause as Sans raised his head. He stared blankly back at them. Grillby memorized every inch of his face. There was a large crack that split above his right eye and another below his left. A faint scar started from the top of his nose before stopping at the bottom of his Lip. Sans was thinner, his cheekbones almost sunken in. He'd definitely grown… there was some black object protruding from the back of Sans head. It seemed like a part of Sans now. Not just something stuck on. But like it cut into Sans skull…

It didn't look like his Sans anymore. It looked nothing like Sans. But that's what he was. This skeleton before him was Sans. Broken and beaten. But Grillby would get him back as much as he could. 

Leon mumbled some things that Grillby couldn't catch. “In fact… I'll let you stay with the skeleton! see how it works out…”

\--------------

Sans was hooked back up to the draining apparatus. The room had changed however. It was bigger. He was inside the same cage. The cage from the first time he was brought here. There were more cylinders, more tubes. Magic pulsed, forced out of Sans and into the tubes, travelling into the cylinders. His eye glowed and blue light still poured from his eye sockets and his mouth, albeit slower.

This machine allowed for 24/7 draining and for Sans to regenerate his magic as it was sucked away. An oxygen mask was fitted around his head and Sans could hear his own raspy breathing. He was pretty sure his ribs were cracked.

Grillby… who else had been caught? His brother? He cried, shoulders shuddering. He hadn't wanted to be seen like this. It was probably because he was crying that he didn't hear them come in. Nor did he see Grillby dragged into the room and dumped into cage with him.

Grillby wasn't chained but the cuffs were enough to keep him under control. Grillby watched his friend cry in the wheelchair. This whole place disgusted him. The way he was hooked up… The tubes stuck to the black box in Sans’ skull.. the cylinders that stretched from floor to roof filled with blue magic. Magic that didn't belong to anyone but the skeleton seated in the wheelchair.

Grillby could see all of Sans now. He had this brown cloth wrapped around his body, encasing his arms behind him. It was strapped tightly to Sans’ body. He was barefooted, showing the marred feet, the missing toes melted into a smooth roundish part. And those disgusting wires... Cuffs that glowed and were chained together. Even the collar was glowing. He was strapped in tightly. Didn't look like he could move much. He was tall. And if Grillby had to take a guess, Sans was probably as tall as him even.

Grillby took several shaky steps before he knelt in front of the skeleton. He raised his hand and touched Sans' cheek. Sans jerked backwards, fear flashing in his eyes. Now that he was closer, he could see dents in Sans body. Bite marks… not animal or monster bites. Human. There was some sort of white substance coating the inside of Sans' left eye, and his lips, and even the wheelchair's seat.

Grillby gulped. They couldn't have… they wouldn't. Would they? He shook the thought out of his head, but filed the information away for possible future use. It was too disturbing right now.

“Hey Sans. It's me Grillby… how are you?” Sans made no move to reply, simply staring back and trembling. He reached out again and Sans flinched. Grillby's heart tightened but he didn't draw back his hand, waiting patiently.  Sans’ shaking slowed. Grillby continued to wait, even when his arm got tired. When it became apparent to Sans that Grillby wasn't going to hurt him, he relaxed.

Then he leaned into Grillby's palm, closing his eyes into the warmth. Grillby leaned forward too, resting his head in Sans lap. He could feel him tense again, but then, he relaxed. Grillby could hear, faintly, a soft sigh escape from Sans lips. Sans magic glow mixed with that of Grillby's fire.

\-----------

Grillby awoke to Sans' jerking. He was still asleep and his movements were wild despite the straps. “Hey. Hey wake up. Hey Sans! Someone!” Sans wasn't waking. He shook the skeleton gently but he wouldn't open his eyes. Drained magic sloshed in its cylinders. A hiss sounded as the walls slid apart to show Leon and two other men.

“Hey! You! Step away from the skeleton!” one of the men called. Grillby shifted away. A small device in Leon's hand was pressed. Sparks, and then electricity could be seen jumping across Sans' figure. His eyes flung open as he thrashed even more wildly. His mouth gaped, eyes widening.

“Stop! Stop it! You're hurting him!” Grillby growled, rattling the cage bars. Leon tsked but complied. The cage doors opened and Grillby didn't wait. He threw a punch. A click sounded as he was suddenly tugged backwards. He jerked. Glancing down, he realised a chain had materialised on the cuff of his left ankle, stretching and fading away into the darkness. His wrists pulled together forcefully and the cuffs connected with a second click.

“Enough. You will be punished for trying to hit me.” Leon grinned. He forced Grillby to his knees unbuckling his pants.

“What the- Hey! Stop you-”

a smack silenced Grillby. He looked away, closing his eyes. A sloshing sound in the back.  A gasp of amazement. Grillby turned. The magic in the cylinders were moving. They rose in their glass prison, slamming against it. The glass didn't crack or budge. Then, slowly, it began to form a hand. A hand that looked like Sans' hands now. Skeletal with a hole in the centre. There were 8 cylinders filled with magic and in each one, a faintly blue hand emerged from the liquid inside, dripping with magic. They all began to sign, simultaneously.

 

S.T. O. P. D.O.N.T.

 

There was a pause and then the hands changed position, continuing to sign.

 

T.O.U.C.H. H.I.M.

 

another pause.

 

T.A.K.E.M.E.

 

a third pause.

 

I.N.S.T.E.A.D.

 

Grillby looked down at Sans, who stared up from his seat at Leon, sweat beading his forehead and his eyes and mouth glowing stronger.  The message repeated several times. Leon didn't seem to understand.

“Get a translator.” Leon gestured. Soon, a woman was led in. She trembled all over as she read out the words signed.  Leon glanced down at Sans. Then he threw his head back and roared with laughter. “Why should I listen to you? I could fuck you both.”

 

H.E

B.U.R.N.Y.O.U

P.R.O.M.I.S.E

I.O.B.E.Y

W.I.L.L.G.I.V.E

Y.O.U

A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G

Y.O.U.W.A.N.T

S.O.L.O.N.G.A.S

Y.O.U.N.O.T

T.O.U.C.H.H.I.M

 

Sans was panting. The strain on defying the collar was taking its toll but Sans was determined.

“You would give yourself up? Wholly and entirely?” Leon tilted his head, a smile tugging at his lips.

 

Y.E.S.

P.L.E.A.S.E.

J.U.S.T.D.O.N.T.

N.O.T.H.I.M

Y.O.U.C.A.N

H.A.V.E.M.E

 

“Nonono Sans. Don't-” The magic in the cylinders roared, like the crashing of waves, drowning out Grillby.

 

T.O.O.

L.A.T.E.F.O.R.

M.E.

 

T.O.O.

 

L.A.T.E.

 

Sans was crying now. Leon laughed. “Alright then. Take him out. The fire elemental can watch.” They unhooked Sans, dragging him out of the cage, just outside, locking the doors. They led Grillby behind them as they moved to another room, similar to the one they'd found Sans in. Except it had a bed not a mattress, it was larger and had several chairs around.

They undressed Sans. Grillby couldn't watch. He shut his eyes, wishing he could shut out the sounds of groaning, hips grinding together grew louder. The laughter. The squelching wet sounds and the blue glow as Sans tongue formed. As they shoved their length into his eye,his mouth, his pelvis.

Tears dripped and sizzled.

The moans of pleasure as they came, again and again. They didn't stop. Even as hours passed, they were still at it.

Grillby shook in horror. Tears continued to drip. It hurt for the liquid to touch his skin. It didn't matter. They came for the last time and Grillby heard Leon laugh. He hummed, buckling up his pants.

“Since you've been so very compliant, you may sleep here for the night.” Leon said just before they locked the door. Grillby staggered to his feet, stumbling towards the bed.

“Sans… Sans.. oh Asgore… Sans.” Grillby struggled to climb up the bed with his hands cuffed but he got on. Sans was still bare, his bones exposed. His hospital gown crumpled in a corner of the bed. Sans arms had been strapped and cuffed behind him to the bed post and he obviously had no sort of magic to use to break them out.  

Grillby didn't look at Sans, simply taking the gown and laying it across Sans' and pulling the covers over his trembling body. He made sure he didn't light the bed on fire before finally turning to look at Sans.

“Can you… Do you want to talk? Can you even talk anymore?” Sans shook his head. Grillby shifted to a more comfortable position and Sans flinched, jerking away from Grillby.

“Hey. It's okay. I'll stay right here. I won't move anywhere. I won't hurt you. Okay? Why don't I tell you about what's been going on outside?”

Sans didn't make any sign showing he understood, but his shaking slowed.

“It's been so long… uh… Frisk is 16 now. And Papyrus is 24…” Grillby stumbled along. He wasn't a man of words but he wanted to soothe Sans. He felt like he owed it to Sans. It didn't matter if he wasn't comfortable. That was nothing.

\-----------------

4 years? He'd been down here four years? He listened to Grillby talk about Home(?). Names he found familiar but couldn't place faces or identities to. Grillby had gotten his own bar.(had he not had his own bar before?) Papyrus was Undyne's right hand man in the Royal Guard(what was that?), and helped out people all over the place just like how he was(was Papyrus always like that? Wait… who was he again?) Frisk was practically a genius in school, or at least, that's what Toriel said(Toriel? Why was Frisk in school? Where…)

Sans tried to piece his life together. Trying to remember. It slipped away just as he thought he'd gotten a hold on it. All he could remember was pain. Pain and blood and shame. He could remember Leon’s moans, the feeling between his legs, pushed apart - Sans blinked. He was tired. But he didn't dare sleep. He'd slept for the first time in a long while yesterday. See where that got him…

Sans dug around, trying to find some reserves of magic. Nope. The emotional, physical and mental drain was too much. Forcing his mind out of the confines of the collar and cuffs had been so difficult. Keeping it up had been harder. USING it was practically killing him. He was so tired…

Sans soon realized it was quiet. Too quiet. He looked beside him and saw that Grillby had fallen asleep. He could feel the warmth even from here.

Shame filled Sans. Had Grillby watched as they… as they… he couldn't let them do it to Grillby though. Sans was already broken far beyond repair. There was no point in allowing someone else to be broken. Especially not Grillby. No. He had to keep him safe. He would keep him safe. As much as possible. Even if he couldn't keep himself safe. Even if he couldn't help being afraid of his… friend?

Yes. FRIEND. He would protect him. Even if it meant doing.. IT. With Leon a million times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whew. Complete. Well... They tried at least.


	7. Alternate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING  
> -Rape  
> -Grillby tries to help  
> -This plan is better  
> -More Half-Breeds  
> -(Where the heck they came from anyway?)  
> -Its pretty fast  
> -BOOM

Sans whimpered as their hips collided again. It was someone else this time. Not Leon or the twins. There was laughter as another man stuck his length into Sans' eye and began to thrust back and forth. The man behind entered further in. More thrusting and soon, they tightened, coming inside of Sans, filling him with their liquid.  It slid down his throat, filling his skull and his mouth.

“Swallow it.” Sans pushed it down and the liquid flowed down his spine and stuck to his ribs. His pelvic area hurt as the blue glow faded away from his bones. 

\----

Non-stop… another man was at him. The fifth man? He was thrusting hard and fast, unrelenting. Sans bit his arm, refusing to open his mouth to scream.  The man came once… twice… there would be a break, then the man would return, continuing...

Fourth…

Sixth…

Ninth...

Twelfth…

\---

Sans panted, soaked in white liquid. With trembling hands, he signed for them to stop. They ignored his protests…

\---

His tongue licked the tip. Then, he was choking on it as the man thrust, hands gripping his head, dangerously close to the box attached to his skull. The man moaned, rocking his hips. He jerked several times before coming inside of the skeleton. He gulped it down…

\---

Sans was unstrapped after his draining. Led back to the room. Soon, he was kneeling again, sucking and licking, hands cuffed behind his back.

\---

He threw up, gagging. The smell of different men still on him… Grillby rubbed his back, soothing words pouring out. Sans flinched and Grillby paused. Breathing heavily Sans crawled away from Grillby. It made Grillby's heart ache but he didn't press the issue. Sans leaned forward heaving again. White liquid filled the toilet bowl.

“Hey! Come-on out already! The next man is waiting for you.” A bang sounded on the toilet cubicle. 

“Please Sans. You don't have to protect me. I could... It's been a whole month-”

Sans shook his head, still trembling. He signed with cuffed hands. N.O.I- The door burst open and they dragged Sans away. 

\---

Sans gasped, pain shooting up his pelvis. His eye sockets and mouth glowed purple in agony. Grunts sounded from behind as he was jerked forward. Hands on his hips. Digging in. Too deep. Too - the man came and again, Sans could feel the fluids burst, coating him.

\---

He cried in his wheelchair. He was so sore. He wanted - needed to be alone. So afraid… hands groping, touching. Grillby was in the far corner, away from Sans. He couldn't stand it but at the same time, the closeness was unbearable. He knew the elemental wouldn’t hurt him. But the fear. The fear overrode his sense of logic. His love for the elemental sitting dejected at a corner… his love wasn't strong enough.

 

S.O.R.R.Y

 

He signed using his magic. The effort sent shocks rolling through his already painful bones. He shook, trying to ignore it.

“I understand. Just…” Grillby sighed, running his hands over his face. “I'm here Sans… I'm here.” 

\----------

“You have to get us out of here. ASAP… Sans… he's not holding up so good.” Grillby glanced at Sans who sat in his wheelchair. He was out of sight from the camera, eyes blank as he stared at the walls, his back almost facing the camera. Leon leaned against the door, watching them carefully.

Grillby was surprised when the man had come in, announcing that he'd allow them to talk to their friends. After their failed attack 3 months ago… Sans had disappeared everyday, only returning late in the night(Grillby knew the time because a clock was mounted on the wall behind)to be hooked up and drained dry of anything he'd regenerated so far - which was hardly anything. Sometimes Grillby was called out in the middle of the day, to comfort Sans so he could return to… to those men. Letting them do whatever the hell they wanted.

“Look I.. I have to go okay?” Grillby said when he felt a warning shock ripple up his ankles. They nodded and the feed cut off.

\---

Undyne moaned, pulling at her hair. “I'm so sorry. I tried. We almost made it out!”

“I-i-its okay U-Undyne.” Alphys patted her on the back.

“We were just a turn away from the exit! Literally!”

“WELL I CERTAINLY DON'T UNDERSTAND. YOU SAID WE COULD GET HIM OUT.” Papyrus almost yelled at the fair haired human who stood at the door. “IT'S BEEN THREE YEARS OF PLANNING! THEY MOVED HIM AND WE CHANGED OUR PLANS. AGAIN AND AGAIN. BY THE WHO KNOWS HOW MANY MOVES, YOU SAID THIS PLAN WOULD BE PERFECT. And now Grillby… GRILLBY IS CAUGHT…”

The man, Tanner, sighed. “I'm really sorry. My plan… backfired. I didn't realize his response time would be so fast.” 

Frisk snorted. “Of course your plan backfired. You could've sneaked Sans out yourself. But you wouldn't. Look where your stupid plan got you. And us.” Frisk had stopped signing these days, her emotions welling up. She needed to express her frustration.

Toriel sent a look at Frisk. “Honey.” Her voice laced with warnings yet gentle.

“Sorry Mom.”

“Look, I have a better plan. And this time, my friend is involved.”

“How's that supposed to help us?”

“You know how I said I'm half monster?”

Nodding heads.

“My friend is too. He can turn invisible and objects he touches with his hands, turn invisible too.”

“AND NOW YOU TELL US?” Papyrus snapped.

“N-no. Don't get the wrong idea. He's only just started experimenting with his abilities. Some half-breeds… develop really late… he.. he just found out he had it.” Tanner mumbled, a flush spreading across his cheeks. He himself hadn't yet discovered his own ability.

“Look. Forget about my previous plan. This one will work. They've moved Sans and Grillby to a new facility. It's out by the mountains. I'm pretty sure you know the place quite well in fact.”

\--

Papyrus sighed, running his hand over his skull. The plan had gone wrong from the start. Papyrus had paired up with Asgore. He’d wanted to join Undyne but the plan didn’t work that way. Right now, he desperately wished he’d gone with Undyne instead. 

A tunnel had been built over the past few months, slowly and quietly. Undyne and Grillby would enter the tunnel, and end up in the west end. Papyrus and Asgore would take a similar route but end up a few corridors down. Tanner had roughly known where Sans would be. Both groups would then split up. The second they’d exited the tunnel however, they’d encountered a maintenance man who’d noticed something up with the tiles.

The alarm had been sounded and they had to retreat, fighting back the sudden flood of guards. It had taken them about an hour to get out. They’d bumped into Undyne midway who’d joined them in the fight with energy Papyrus had never seen in her before. 

Turned out, she’d been blocked off both ways by laser gates and she had found a trick in passing through. By sending out an object her size - a guard in this case- right through the gate and following close behind, the laser actually flickered, giving her the millisecond to get through. She’d searched for Grillby and Sans but they were gone. Instead, she’d found them.

Papyrus felt raw. So close. They had been so close to freeing his brother.

But they’d failed.

\---

Sans watched Grillby sleep. The fire flickered, warming the cage. He was still watching him when the elemental woke, stretching from the floor.

\---

The chain on his foot rattled as Grillby sat up. He turned and stopped. Sans was watching him closely. He moved with slow and careful movements that Sans eyes tracked. Anything could spook Sans. 

“Hello Sans.”

Silence. The magic in the cylinders didn't so much as ripple. 

“Feeling better? You've been back a while now.” 

“Sorry.” Grillby shifted and Sans tensed.

“Are you tired?” 

Hands bubbled up in the magic. They shrugged.

“Is it me? Is my fire keeping you awake?” 

 

A pause. 

 

N.O. 

N.I. … … 

 

Another pause.

 

N.I.G.H.T.M.A.R.E.S.

 

Sans was sweating already.

 

“Why don't we break. Have you eaten?”

 

2.W.E.E.K.S.

 

Grillby's face tightened in rage. They hadn't fed him for 2 weeks. He pulled half a loaf from under his coat. He'd saved it for himself but Sans needed it more.

“Can I come close?” Sans didn't answer. “Just to feed to you. This piece of bread. Nothing more.”

A shudder. Then, 

 

O.K. 

 

The Hands flickered and plopped back into the magic filled cylinders. Grillby shuffled closer. He tore off a piece and placed it into Sans' mouth. Up close, he could see Sans left eye was bruised and so were his lips. Sans swallowed it painfully. He coughed.

Then, he gagged, leaning against the straps. He coughed again just before he threw up, white fluids staining the floors of the cage. Grillby cursed. Sans was starting to glow, a deep purple illuminating his face. Sans heaved again, and again and again. Even when nothing came out, Sans jerked, attempting to vomit. Shaky hands appeared in the cylinders. 

 

H.E.L.P.

 

before Sans slumped against the straps, closing his eyes. 

Grillby touched the skeleton, righting him. He cursed again. “Fuck! He's cold. He's too cold.” 

 

\--------- 4 days later

The phone rang and Leon moved to answer it. As he clicked the answer button, the phone exploded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this one! I don't think we need more Sans torture. Not in this prison anymore anyway.  
> Was thinking about changing this series title. If it does, I'll type it out and give you a warning in the next chapter before changing it.


	8. Escape and Recuperate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -FREEDOM  
> -Sans goes through recovery procedures  
> -Memory loss?  
> -No mention of half breeds  
> -Implied/Mention of rape  
> -Sansby softies.
> 
> Future title change - Hands Origins

Bells rang, a whine that rose high and loud. Grillby ignored it, hugging Sans as close as he could. The skeleton was still asleep, four days after throwing up everything in his stomach. If he had one. He didn't even know how skeletons worked. They didn't have organs… probably magic of some sort. He was so cold it hurt to be this close.

But Grillby didn't care. Sans could be dying. He was unnaturally cold and Grillby wanted to heat him up with his own fire.

The door to the cage suddenly swung open. There was a ripple in the air and a man appeared with a large goat man beside him. “Okay no time to talk let's get you outta here.”

“Asgore!” Grillby smiled. A Trident materialised in Asgore hand. He swung it and shattered the chains. Kneeling down, Asgore quickly melted the cuffs with his own fire magic.

He moved onto Sans. “My word… what happened here.” Asgore muttered as he melted the straps and cuffs.

“He's…I think he's sick.” Grillby replied, gently picking Sans up. He was bare except for the cloth that wrapped him up. They helped carefully unplug each and every tube. “What about his magic?”

“We can't return it to his body. The sudden shift in magical imbalance will overload and may possibly kill us all. Just release it into the air.” The man answered. Asgore blasted each cylinder and they cracked. The pressure built up and a splintering sound could be heard as the first cylinder shattered. Magic flooded the room, burning everything in sight like lava.

“Okay we gotta run. YOUR friends are probably done evacuating the place.” They ran out, with the strange man leading the way. Grillby looked down every now and then at Sans' unconscious form in his arms. He was so cold still. He only hoped they could save him.

They moved faster, twisting and turning down corridors, climbing up stairs.  They met little resistance, people running past them, almost as if they were invisible. Grillby suspected they were.

The man had just turned Asgore and himself invisible earlier after all. They all kept a tight hold on each other, quiet and solemn. Sirens rang loudly and small explosions could be heard below. Grillby could smell metal burning and the sharp tang of magic gone wrong in the air.

\-------

They ran and kept running even as the building was out of sight. Grillby could hardly believe it. Out of this place. Seeing the sun again… a faint explosion sounded. Turning around, he could see a blue tinted mushroom cloud rise into the air. A strong wind slammed into them, probably the force from the explosion.

Grillby stood still, almost as if he were frozen in place. Mt Ebott. How ironic that the place he was captured and sent to would be outside his old home.

“Come-on fire man. We gotta meet up with the rest of your friends.”

Grillby nodded slowly. He couldn't believe how fast it all ended. One second he was inside, the next he was out. It was over… for real.

\-----

The sounds of a heart monitor faint in the background. Voices. A hand on his arm, inserting something. He thrashed. More hands. He opened his mouth, screaming. No sound came out. Trapped. Stuck in an eternal loop hole. He needed to get out.

He was so cold. So very very cold. It felt like someone had dumped iced water over him, buried him in snow and left him to die. He dug for his magic. He needed light. To see. He needed to speak. Get out! He couldn't find his magic. Where was it. Where - there… a faint trickle. He reached out to touch it and suddenly, a wave of black cut in his path. He couldn't draw back his hand fast enough. It touched the blackness and pain swept him away…

\--

Sans opened his eyes, gasping and jerking. Eyes stared at him, holding him down. He screamed again, drowning in pain and fear. Water entering his- he heaved, water tinged with blood and white fluids forced out of his mouth. He searched frantically for a familiar face. No one. He was alone. Where was the elemental with him earlier?

Someone reached out, a lizard like creature. He jerked again, begging them to stop. But no words came out. He flinched as the hand came into contact with his skull. Water was forced down his throat. Someone urged him to drink. He sobbed, swallowing it down. He’d listen but only if they'd stop. Please.

He shook, his eyes darting everywhere, fear dimming everything in sight. Some hand bumped into the object on his head and he screamed. His whole body felt like it was on fire. He needed to - he vomited again. His clothes were soaked. He cried himself to sleep.

\------

He opened his eyes. He looked down tiredly. His chest ached and he could taste something foul in his mouth. He was covered in blankets… wait… blankets? He jerked upright. Panting, he stared out at the window curtains, light peaking through… The window! He crawled out from under the sheets, trying to get out of bed. He stumbled and fell. His legs were still so weak. They hadn't touched the ground proper in… in years? Yes… the elemental had told him… 1? Nono… 4… yes 4 long years.

He struggled to hoist himself up using his arms. He couldn't. Not for long. His arms trembled and they collapsed. He slumped against the floor, breathing hard. Slowly, he clawed his way up to the window sill, resting his arms on the protruding platform. They shook from the exertion but he wanted to see out. See the sun. Even if he would be punished later. It didn't matter.  He tried to move the curtains but he suddenly felt so tired. He shook and before he knew it, was falling towards the floor again.

“NGH! CAUGHT YOU BROTHER.” Hands came under his arms, dragging him up and into a wheelchair. Different from the one he was in before. His heart clenched with fear. Who was this? Was this… was he… the wheelchair was turned around and he came face to face with another skeleton kneeling down.

-

Papyrus smiled. He moved to hug his brother but Sans flinched, jerking back. He remembered what Grillby said.

 

_“He's scared of movement. Just… be careful and move slow around him. Ask him for permission to be touched.” Grillby had told them._

_“WHAT DID THEY DO TO HIM?” Papyrus had asked._

_“It's… it's better if you not know. He can't speak anymore either. And I'm not sure if he can still use his magic anymore.” Grillby had mumbled, turning his back to Papyrus. “He seems to have some… memory loss. Or at least confusion. So…”_

 

He softened his voice. “Sans. It's me, your brother Papyrus.”

Sans trembled in the wheelchair, watching him warily. Eight bluish translucent hands appeared in the air, surrounding Sans. They began to sign all at once.

 

B.R.O.T.H.E.R?

 

Papyrus blinked in shock. The Hands had holes in them. All of them. He looked down at Sans' own hands. They were the same.

Looking down further, he saw his brother's legs peeking out from a pair of loose jeans. Deep cracks and scars scattered across the bones of his feet. Some sort of black wire attached to his ankles, leading up underneath his pants, several toes missing, melted and marred.

How had he not noticed this? What… what was this? Tears brimmed in his eyes and he brushed them away roughly.

“Yes Sans. I'm your brother. Papyrus? Pap?”

 

P...A.P?

 

Papyrus moved again and Sans retreated at the sudden movement. His breath came in short gasps and the Hands flickered, words flashing a million in a second.

 

P.L.E.A.S.E.

S.O.R.R.Y

W.O.N.T

Q.U.E.S.T.I.O.N

 

The Hands blurred again as Sans blinked, looking almost confused as the signing stopped and the Hands floated in an open palm position.

“I won't hurt you.” Papyrus was almost pleading. Sans shook his head. “Can I… can I see your hand?” Sans looked down at his own hands. Shame and horror passed Sans eyes and he hid them behind his back, shaking.

Tears pricked the back of Papyrus's eye sockets.

“Its okay Sans… I… I understand.” Papyrus stood, slowly and left them room, leaving a very confused and terrified Sans staring after him.

 

\---

Sans stared at the grass field in front of him. The sun poured in, lighting up the place. His injuries were bandaged up and a salve was given to treat several burns and abrasions. Sans was having trouble seeing out his right eye, Alphys had reported. He also seemed to have memory loss and was constantly forgetting things, mostly likely suffering from amnesia..

The odd cold he had was slowly receding. The cause for his cold unknown. The machine attached behind his head didn't seem like it could be removed. At least not in a safe way that wouldn't leave him paralyzed, damaging his skull, spine and possibly his already damaged sanity.

Eight, blue glowing translucent hands floated in a semicircle around him. His back didn't face the window, instead leaning against the wall. He didn't like being sneaked up on. The door open and Sans tensed but didn't turn.

Toriel came in, closing the door gently behind her.

“Hello my dear. How are you feeling?”

 

Y.O.U...A.R.E?

 

“Toriel my dear. Do you remember?” A pregnant pause.

 

N.O.?

 

Toriel scrunched her face up and Sans panicked. Several apologies were signed multiple times.

 

T.R.Y. I.N.G.T.O.

R.E.M.E.M.B.E.R

 

“It's alright Sans. It's not a test.”

 

P.U.N.I.S.H.?

 

“NO! Sans…I would never...”

Fear flashed across his eyes and he flinched at the loud comment half expecting to be struck.

Sans took in a shaky breath. Apologizing again, he watched her. Toriel sat down on the bed.

“Sans. Can you… could you tell me what happened? Even just a little? I'm trying to understand you here. I promise I won't judge you. Or tell anyone.” Toriel raised her eyebrow, hoping to convince him.

Sans’ Hands had started to rotate. Hearing the question, he froze. He dropped his head, breathing in shakily. His hands clutched his chest, twisting the clothes into a mess as he panted.

“Sans… Sans it's alright.” Toriel stood up, going to comfort him. When she reached out, her hands bumped into an invisible shield. She gasped. The shield grew more opaque and this time, a blue translucent shield appeared. Each of the Hands had a blue glow in the hole of its palms. Tears splashed onto his lap as he shook with sobs.

Toriel swallowed hard. “Alright then Sans. I'll… I'll leave you to yourself for now…” she left quietly, glancing back several times.

\------

Alphys laughed nervously. “Good progress Sans!” He took a second shuffle away from his wheelchair, holding on tightly to the metal support bars beside him. His arms shook and so did his legs. He collapsed into a pile on the mat below.

Papyrus stepped forward to help him up but Sans whimpered, curling into a ball. The Hands wavered, glowing blue. Sans was lifted up and placed back onto the wheelchair, his soul glowing as well. It faded and the Hands rotated back around him. Papyrus's lips tightened but he said nothing.

\------

Sans stared at the girl sitting in front of him. He couldn't remember her name. He'd seen her come in at least... wait... Had she come in before? He was sure he'd seen her somewhere. Who was she? 

Almost as if she'd heard the questions in his head, she smiled.

"Its Frisk. I came here two days ago?" That had felt like years ago... He was finding it hard to grasp the concept of time. He couldn't remember anymore. Who were these people who came in everyday? He wished he could remember that and forget... forget those things... 

He held on to the happier stuff he remembered. Grillby...

\------

Grillby sat across from Sans. A plate stacked high with hot dogs between them.

“Come-on Sans. Eat. You haven't eaten in awhile.” Sans trembled.

 

O.K.A.Y.

O.K.A.Y…

 

With hands shaking he picked a hotdog up. He held it to his lips but they wouldn't open. Thoughts shifted in his head and he was back. Back in the room. Leon stood over him, forcing his head down. He'd kicked and screamed, trying to pull away but his mouth had closed over -

Sans blinked, gasping. He was on the floor, shaking. His mouth open in a scream.

“Crap crap crap. Okay calm down Sans. Calm down.”

He couldn't eat...whenever he did… he threw up, magic acid stinging his teeth. He gasped for air, throwing up again. Sans gagged, crying silently. He wasn't normal. He couldn't be fixed.

\------

Frisk opened the door. “Hi Sans.” She called out softly. The Hands shook, before they all gave a timid wave. Sans still didn't turn to look at her.

 

H.E.Y…?

 

“It's me Frisk.” She gave a him a wide smile.

 

F.R.I.S.K

 

The sign repeated several times.

“Yeah. Frisk… how are you? Want to go out? I heard you can take a few steps now?”

Sans glanced at her out of the corner of his eye as she moved around the room, picking up an empty medicine bottle, fallen books and bloody bandages. A whir as the Hands spun, thinking.

 

Y.E.S.

O.U.T…

 

Frisk brightened. “Cool cool. Let's go.” She signed back. She moved towards him and he tensed, a small blue shield flickering into existence.  “Oh right. Uh. I'm going to have to push you out. Is that okay?” She asked, using her hands to brush through her hair.

Sans wavered.

 

P.U.S.H

S.E.L.F.

 

A pair of translucent hands floated down to the wheels of the wheelchair and moved it so that Sans rolled forward.

“Oh. That's good too.” Frisk flushed. They exited the room and down a corridor. Sans breathing grew shallower.

Frisk looked at him worriedly.

 

F.I.N.E.

 

She nodded, unconvinced. They reached two large doors that Frisk pushed open and held them for Sans. He pushed himself out. The warmth hit Sans like a wrecking ball. The warmth wasn't the same as Grillby's. His warmth was a crackling, homely fire. This warmth, was the natural heat from the sun. A heat he hadn't felt in almost close to 5 years.

Sans shifted himself onto the ground, feeling the grass in his hands, beneath his bare feet. He tilted his head up and blinked, the glare and brightness almost blinding him. He grinned. Opening his mouth in silent laughter, tears rolling down his cheeks. Frisk watched him rub a blade of grass between his fingers, smiling.

Her friend was getting better.  


He had to.

\------

Alphys shone a flashlight into his eye while Papyrus murmured assurances to Sans as he trembled. His fingers clenched the armrests tightly. He forced himself to regulate his breathing.

“Y-your right eye is-isn't g-getting any wo-worse at l-least.” She finally said, stepping away. Sans visibly relaxed.

 

R...R.E.A.L.L.Y.?

 

“Y-yep. But you s-seem to b-be walking w-with difficulty… I've d-done a f-few q-quick tests and it l-looks like t-the machine attached to y-your h-head…”

Sans instinctively reached up and rubbed the base of skull.

“Ca-cause spinal a-and neck i-i-issues. Even your… y-your feet… they're s-so d-damaged.. You wo-wont be a-able to w-walk more than a f-few steps… l-like, f-forever..” Silence. Alphys flushed and stuttered some more.

“I-I’ve ch-checked your vocals a-a-and m-magic s-samples.”

Papyrus leaned forward, anxious.

“I've r-run a f-few more tests... T-to see if your m-memory s-s-stabilizes.I-Its not clear y-yet b-but majority of the r-results say you probably h-have per-permanent amnesia. They're d-different types... You s-seem to have uh c-childhood amnesia. korsakoff's s-syndrome...retrograde a-amnesia... It's a-all v-very complicated..." Alphys wiped her glasses. "T-the best way w-we can help is to k-keep schedules, keep track o-of d-day-to-day tasks. R-re-exposing him to past p-personal information."

Sans rubbed the holes in his hands. "T-there i-is good news o-of course... Your voice d-doesn't seem d-damaged.. I-it m-may return w-with p-practice."

Papyrus cheered, frightening Sans and Alphys. “SORRY. BUT THIS IS GOOD NEWS!”

“I-its probably n-not going to b-be the same… he m-may never go b-back t-to the same v-volume he s-spoke at…” Alphys flushed.

 

B.A.D.?

 

“N-not necessarily.”

“AT LEAST YOU'LL SPEAK AGAIN!”

“H-Hopefully.”

Sans smiled weakly.

\------

He watched Grillby go about fixing the bed. 2 and a half months in the hospital and Sans was finally moving out and back into his old bedroom. Papyrus had left for work that morning and so Grillby had offered to keep Sans company.

Sans looked at Grillby carefully as he grunted, twisting a screw tightly. He laughed, back still facing Sans. “Gonna set up this bed again for you. After all, can't have you sleeping on the couch.”

A rasping sound made Grillby turn around worriedly.

“Sans are you-” he blinked in surprise. It took him a second to register that Sans was laughing. It wasn't silent anymore. There were actual sounds coming faintly from Sans.

Sans paused, staring back at Grillby and placing his fingers on his throat, almost as if he hadn't realised he'd started making sounds. Then he laughed again. And soon, Grillby was smiling too.

 

L.A.U.G.H.

M.E.

 

The Hands shook with excitement.  Grillby finished setting up the bed and helped push Sans down the slope. It had taken some convincing but Sans had finally agreed, albeit a little tense and constantly turning to look at Grillby and making sure he was merely pushing the wheelchair. The house had been remade. The stairway knocked down and a ramp had been built in its place.

Sans practiced walking, only managing to get out 5 tiny shuffles before collapsing in a sweaty heap. Grillby noted that Sans was shorter than him about a head when he stood.

“Need help?” Sans jerked, the sudden spoken words frightening him. The Hands rotated slowly and Sans shook his head.

Oh well. He'll give the skeleton time.

\------

Several weeks had passed and Grillby hadn't seen Sans in that time - his bar had been too busy. When Papyrus asked him to watch over Sans for a few days, he’d instantly agreed. Closing up the bar, he slowly walked towards Sans’ home with Papyrus beside him.

“So… Papyrus, how is he?”

“OH! HE CAN SPEAK NOW! WITH SOME EFFORT. HE TALKS IN A WHISPER. ALPHYS DOESN'T THINK IT'S GOING TO GET ANY LOUDER THAN THAT. ALTHOUGH… HE… he still uses those… Hands.” Papyrus shrugged, waving his own hands in the air.

The tall skeleton - taller than Grillby - wore a bright orange T-shirt with his usual red scarf wound around his neck. Black baggy shorts that Grillby was sure Papyrus hadn't owned in his closet hung loosely on his hips.

“Isn't that good?”

“OH IT IS. BUT I WISH HE WOULD JUST PRACTICE SPEAKING IN FRONT OF ME.I HEAR HIM TRYING IN HIS ROOM BUT WHEN HE HEARS ME OUTSIDE, HE WAITS UNTIL HE THINKS IM GONE…”

A short silence.

“HE'S STILL AFRAID OF BEING. TOUCHED… THINGS STILL SPOOK HIM. GRILLBY. YOU HAVE TO TELL ME. WHAT HAPPENED?”

Grillby rubbed the back of his neck, visibly disturbed.

“Grillby… please. He… he hurts himself. And he doesn't stop… it's crazy! He takes any opportunity to hurt himself. On a blade, a sharp edge… I have to take off the doors in the house just to make sure he isn't locked and dead in one of the rooms!”

Grillby shifted uncomfortably…

 

“I… I can't tell you but I'll see if I can help.”

\-------

Grillby placed the dishes in the dishwasher. Sans had barely eaten but at least he'd gotten some food down.

“TV?” He asked, turning. “WHOA HEY.”

Blood stained the table and Sans had a knife in his hands. Mentally scolding himself for not watching him carefully, Grillby wrenched the knife from Sans hands. Sans winced, folding back.

“Don't do that..” Grillby softened his voice. Sans shrugged, blood splattering from his wrists as he clasped his hands.

“We can take your mind of… that.. come-on..”

They went to the couch and Grillby switched the TV on. Some sort of weird fashion show was up. Grillby flicked through the channels when he noticed out of the corner of his eye, Sans staring at him intently. He blushed and quickly leaned his cheek onto a fiery palm to hide it.

He finally looked up and into Sans' eyes.

Sans flushed and averted his eyes, finding sudden interest in the floor tiles. His Hands betrayed him, twisting and drumming their fingers in the air.

“Do you want to say something, Sans?” Grillby pressed gently. There was a long pause and Grillby was just about to move on when the Hands clicked, beginning to fumble and sign.

 

D.I.D…

D.I.D.L.E.O.N

O.R...O.R.A.N.Y

O.F.T.H.E.M.

T.O.U.C.H.Y.O.U.?

 

Hearing Leon's name after such a long time made Grillby jerk in surprise.

“N-no. You made sure of that…”

Sans swallowed.

“I… Sans I… I'm completely and forever grateful that you gave yourself up. For me. But… I never wanted you to end up like… like this.”

Grillby gestured at Sans, getting a little too close and Sans flinched.

“There were times where I seriously doubted your sanity. You were… so scared. You still are. And… somehow I feel like it's my fault. You being.. being.”

Sans closed his eyes tightly, shuddering.

“Raped…”

Sans gulped, forcing himself to breathe slowly.

“Sans. You don't have to protect everyone around you all the time. Sometimes, you just have to. Give the responsibility to someone else.”

A tear rolled down Sans' cheek.

“I can't stand seeing you like this. So terrified of every sound and movement. You said… back then you said it was already too late… did they… were you already…”

The Hands shook, fading away.

“Did they already rape you?” Grillby probed, pulling his eyebrows together. A long silence and Grillby sighed. “I'm sorry… I shouldn't have pushed.” He returned to watching the TV, checking on Sans out of the corner of his eye.

“Yes.” It was faint. Shaky and barely comprehendible but Sans had said it.

Grillby tightened his jaw.

“Leon was… j-just finished… when y-you and Undyne…” Sans gasped for breath. “I-it… it was the… 9th time…t-that day...” his voice barely a whisper.

Grillby paled.

“They… they… were at it… t-twenty-s-seven days… b-before… y-you c-came.”

The flames along Grillbys arm turned white.

“T-they w-wouldnt… stop… I was… s-so w-weak.” Sans was crying at this point.

“I-I… whe-when I s-saw them… t-touch you. I d-didn't want y-you to… to go through what i-I did.” He gasped, crying harder. It was getting tiring to talk but he wanted - needed to get it all out.

“I… needed to protect y-you. Y-you kept me s-sane e-even before I was… I was captured.” Sans tightened his jaw, his hands wrenching at his shirt.

“I-I loved you. Love you s-still.” Sans flushed.

“A-and I was so ashamed a-at myself… H-how could anyone… l-love me back… not if they knew… if they knew what I'd… gone through.” Sans curled up, crying even more, hiccuping.

“I didn't want you guys… to see me. Like that… but I… I couldn't hide nuthin from y-you… not when you… w-were there. I'm sorry. I-I'm so so sorry…” his throat hurt and his heart ached.

“I'm s-sor-” he was cut off as Grillby pulled him in, hugging him tightly. Sans tensed instinctively but finally, slowly, relaxed.

“You did good Sans… you did good.” Grillby murmured.

Sans shuddered, sobs shaking his body. Tired, he snuggled closer to Grillby, drinking in his warmth. He hiccuped once or twice before finally drifting off to sleep for the first time in weeks.

Grillby rested his chin on Sans head, careful to not touch the object attached to the skeleton's skull. He pressed a soft kiss, stroking Sans' back comfortingly.  
“You did good Sans…” hot tears plopped one by one onto the top of  Sans head before evaporating.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NGAHHHH. We're good boys and girls. we're all good.


	9. Looking Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING  
> -Rape  
> -Torture  
> -The darkness...  
> -Sans gets a little crazy  
> -Asgore comes by  
> -its just Grillby  
> -Past  
> -Nightmares

Grillby lurched awake, a scream caught in his mouth. The dream had been so real… He looked down at the skeleton snuggled in his arms. His face was twisted into an expression of fear but Sans didn't make a sound, nor did he move. Grillby sighed, picking him up carefully in his arms. Sans groaned and shifted, unintentionally burying his face into Grillby's chest.

Grillby smiled down at Sans. He wasn't the small skeleton from years before. His size was so much larger but he also weighed less. Experience from carrying a drunk, smaller Sans told him that. He quietly walked up and into Sans bedroom, laying him down gently on his side.

Papyrus hadn't been kidding about removing those doors. There were almost no doors except for the one in the washroom and the main and back door of the house. Grillby drew a chair up and sat down beside Sans' bed.

His heart ached, just thinking of Sans' torture. What kind of… thing raped a defenseless monster? It made him sick. He'd felt so helpless, every time they took Sans away. He couldn't do anything. Oh Grillby had tried. But failed to do anything. Simply watch and comfort, hoping it was enough.

He reminded himself that it wasn't his fault that this happened. But only if they had found Sans sooner. Or if they hadn't messed up the plan. Already, the few months in there were giving him nightmares… 4 years of rape, magic drained away, beatings… he wasn't surprised Sans had turned out this way. It hurt though.

Grillby rubbed the thoughts away, thinking back to moments earlier. Sans confessing that he loved him… a blush spread across his cheeks. He was so emotional whenever it concerned the skeleton…

\------

He was back in the room, chained down. His heat wasn't strong enough to melt the chains. These stupid collars somehow defied all the laws of magic. Grillby jerked in the chair, kicking against the cell. Leon stared at him blankly, switching on the TV screen. It showed several men in a room. Playing cards, smoking or drinking. A sharp rap sounded on the door and the men turned. Sans was pushed in.

“Why are you doing this?” Grillby turned, staring at Leon.

“Monsters… they deserve that name.” Was all Leon said.

Grillby turned his attention back to the screen, dread rising in his throat. Sans was stripped and forced onto the bed. There was hardly any protest, only his lips mouthing empty silent words. Tears pooled in his eyes as a man began to rub Sans' pelvis.

Grillby shut his eyes, turning his head. He heard grunting sounds. Moans. Grillby swallowed. He felt fingers tilting his chin.

“Open your eyes and watch.” Leon ordered. Grillby couldn't.

A slap came. Another. A kick. Grillby gritted his teeth. As each blow came, he tried to ignore it. Before long, he was on the floor, fire licking the ground around him. Blood. A kick knocked the air out of him again.

“I said! Watch!” Grillby was righted and his head forcefully turned. His eyes were pried open. He couldn't tear away. He watched in horror as they raped Sans whose mouth opened in a silent scream, his head tilting, back arching.

“Stop… stop it. You're sick…” Grillby spat at Leon. Leon patted the fire out, simply laughing. 

\----

He was led out of his cage. He hadn't seen Sans face to face in several days. He entered a washroom. There were partying noises nextdoor. Laughter. He recognized the sounds. Grillby turned to look at the twin guards escorting him. The door at the end of the washroom opened and a man, almost entirely naked aside from a pair of boxers appeared, dragging Sans by the arm.

“The squirt wouldn't do anything. I'll be waiting.” The man grunted before dumping Sans on the floor and exited.

Grillby was shoved forward. “Go on. Talk some sense to the skeleton.” Grillby didn't need much more persuasion. He rushed to Sans side.

Sans raised his head when he heard Grillby approach. He flinched and began to tremble as Grillby helped him up and into a toilet cubicle.

“Sans! Are you okay? Come-on I'll clean you up.” Sans didn't seem to have heard him, pulling himself away from Grillby. He struggled, using his cuffed hands to drag himself to the toilet bowl. He threw up.

Grillby cringed as white fluids coated the floor, and filled the toilet. He noticed it coated Sans as well, in his eye, mouth… he felt like throwing up himself. He cursed softly as Sans vomited again. “Sick bastards.” He grabbed a tissue, almost setting it on fire.

He used it to wipe off most of the fluids from Sans ribs. It wasn't the only thing to come off. Blood stained the tissue. Upon closer inspection, he realized Sans had several broken ribs, his pelvis scarred, probably dislocated. His arms weren't in any better condition either. Bite marks that bruised the bone marked Sans body. The area surrounding the machine on his head and spine were red and purple.

“Crap Sans… you have to stop this. I… I'll take your place even. They're...” Horror in Sans eyes as he shook his head. His eyes glowed blue as he tried to clean himself up but the stress to his body didn't allow him to concentrate.

Grillby pressed a fist against his lips, swallowing a cry of anger. Anger and shame. 

\------

Gasping, Grillby fell off the chair, landing with a loud bang. Heart thudding, Grillby looked up. Sans hadn't woken. Groaning, he climbed to his feet and down into the kitchen. He needed some fresh air. Opening a window, he pulled out a cigarette. He tapped the tip with a finger, lighting it.

He sighed, smoke curling from his lips into the night air. He adjusted his glasses. Damnit… no wonder Sans looked so tired. He must not want to sleep.

He couldn't look at Sans the same way again. He loved Sans. But knowing - seeing him raped was scarring. Grillby knew he needed to fix this. How, he didn't know. He couldn't even look at himself in the mirror without being disgusted. Not at Leon, but at himself. He should've fought harder. Refused. But he'd looked. Even hearing those sounds…

The cigarette snapped in half. He admitted he'd dreamt of being with Sans. Together. But that dream would stay a dream to be honest. Sans scarred from the abuse. Grillby similarly scarred - mentally.

It was true Leon hadn't touched him. Not in the same way he'd touched Sans. Leon had some sick pleasure in sexual and physical abuse. Any kind of abuse really. He laughed whenever Sans shied away from his own friends. In fear of being beaten, “taken”, by them. He'd certainly enjoyed it when Grillby tried to look away... Grillby didn't want to think about it…

\---

Sans was strapped to the table. Fresh blood stained the floor. The holes in his hands still ached. His eyes darted around fearfully. A whirr as the machine came to life. Several needles entered his bones. His eyes flashed purple, pain stinging the back of his head. Pain flooded through his bones and he yanked against the straps. Just when he thought it was about to stop, a fresh batch would be jabbed in again. The pain would flood in. Oh Asgore… make it stop… make it stop.

\-----

Sans screamed as the machine sucked at him. His voice vibrating in the tiny room. He had nothing left to give. Nothing. It was too soon. No magic for them to drain. His skull ached, the cracks that were present seeming to stretch wider. He tightened, tensing against the machine’s pull. It tugged at his throat as his lips pried open, purple igniting in his eyes and mouth. Something blue stained with blood began to emerge from his throat.

It was painful. Oh Asgore… it was so painful. He screamed again. It was fainter this time. His voice. He was losing it… His soul burned like lava had been poured over it. His back arched one last time. The machine stole his voice away, slowly. Even though he hadn't used his voice much, knowing it was being stolen from him… Agony ripped through Sans body as the last of it was taken from his soul. He felt so empty. Not for the first time, everything faded away. The only thing in his mind was pain.

\---

Sans was stuck back in the room. Leon was thrusting, his pace fast and unforgivable. Sans kicked, trying to get away but Leon gripped his hips, riding Sans harder. Sans jerked,rattling on the chains, desperately grabbing onto the sheets, the bedpost, anything! for some kind of escape. Annoyed, Leon paused, reaching over and slamming the skeleton's skull hard into the bedpost.Sans screamed out in agony, going limp letting Leon do as he pleased.

After an eternity, Leon climaxed inside of him. He shifted position, Sans' head between his legs. His length entered Sans eye and he began to thrust again. Sans groaned, his skull hurting. Red marrow began to seep from his eye socket. A sob leaving as Leon pulled back, only to slam in on the return, never slowing his thrusts. Leon bucked several times. Before long, Leon had climaxed again. Leon stood up, spitting on Sans’ face.

\---

He watched as Leon stood before Grillby. A surge of adrenaline. A burst of magic. NO. Not Grillby. He would protect him. He had to. He had failed at protecting himself. But he would not fail this. He forced his mind into the cuffs binding his magic. His mind stretched and broke it's limits and pain slammed hard into his bones.

He probed, searching for his magic. He found it, faintly, leading away from him. He grasped on, forcing it towards him, to break free. The walls cutting him off from his just drained magic were too strong. It served to distract them though. He remember signing. Learning how to sign with Frisk. He fumbled to bring up the memory, flicking each letter, each image to each cylinder.

Words formed slowly. He needed them to understand. They could touch him. They could break him further. He was already broken. You can't break what's already broken. But Grillby. Not Grillby. He would give up everything to defend him. There was still hope for Grillby. He would repay his mistake of getting his friend caught. He would reach out from his fear… protect…

He was crying as he finished his message. Leon gave a predatory grin. He was moved and his connection with his magic broke. He felt the loss greatly, no matter how short his return with his magic, he felt it like he'd lost his left arm. As they stripped him, he didn't try to fight them. He had no power. No control.

His regeneration only gave a few drops into his eternal empty chasm of magic. He was so tired. So very emotionally, physically drained. Hours passed, and Sans' shame only grew. He didn't want Grillby to see him like this. So weak. So fragile… but if it meant protecting the monster he loved so much… maybe it was worth it. Even if it meant Grillby hated him forever…

\---

“Wake up. Wake up Sans. It's just a nightmare.” Grillby shook Sans. He watched as the skeleton pried his eyes open, the purple light growing brighter as it was released from its prison in Sans skull. Fear could be seen clearly in his eyes and so Grillby slowly edged off him.  Sans Hands came to life, rotating gently.

 

D.I.D.I.W.A.K.E

Y.O.U.?

 

Grillby shook his head. 

 

I.M...S.O.R.R.Y.

S.U.C.H.A.

M.E.S.S

C...C.A.N.T.B.E

F.I.X.E.D…

I...C.A.N.T…

B.E...F.I.X.E.D…

 

The Hands repeated it, and soon, Sans was whispering it too, repeating it like some mantra. He curled up, crying.

“Sans… you're not broken… you're on your way to recovery. Look how far you've gone-”

A heart wrenching cry escaped from Sans. Everything that left his lips was a whisper. Grillby wished he could comfort him. That he could ease Sans worries.

“S-stop. I-I'm sorry… I-I c-cant make i-it stop.” Sans moaned, clawing at his head.

“I-I tried to… they w-wont st-stop. C-cant stop.” A whine that rose to a scream that pierced the room. Grillby was worried that exertion had damaged Sans voice. Sans was shaking, sweat soaking the sheets beneath him.

“Haa..uhhh… s-stop. Please no… nononono…” Grillby drew back his hand, horror and sorrow filling him.

“S-stop… iiiiitt…. Nghhhh. Guhhn..” The glow brightened, now mixed with blue. It was blinding.

“P-pain… m-make i-it st-stop. Stop stop stop.” Grillby reached for him again but Sans lashed out with a wave of his hand. The movement caught Grillby in the chest, a blast of magic exploding and sending Grillby backwards, slamming painfully into the wall. Sans lurched, throwing his head back in a soundless scream. Purple and blue light flowed from his eye sockets, from his mouth and his Hands. Sans own hands gripping the sheets, shaking.

 

I.D.O.N.T.

K.N.O.W.Y.O.U...

 

Grillby groped around for his phone, quickly tapping on a contact. Any.

“Hello? This is -”

“I'm at Sans. I need your help. Hurry!”

\---

Asgore ran as fast as he could. He hadn't bothered waking his wife. As he neared the skeletons home, he saw a bright bluish purple light shining from the upper window. He could see it from several blocks away. He sped up, fumbling with the extra key under the mat. He unlocked the door and rushed upstairs.

The light was even brighter in the house. Asgore skidded to a stop outside Sans’ room. He saw Sans, head tilted up, Hands rotating rapidly, glowing like nothing ever seen before. Grillby lay on the floor, groaning. Asgore made a move towards the bed and bumped into a magical force field. It grew larger and larger, pushing Asgore away. In fact, it shoved him out of the room.

A pained cry made Asgore stagger back onto his feet. “GRILLBY!” He looked in. The force field was pushing against the walls of the room. And against Grillby, crushing him.

“SANS. SANS CALM DOWN!” Asgore slammed his Trident against the field to no avail. He began yelling at Sans.

“SANS! COME-ON NOW! YOU'RE HURTING GRILLBY! YOURE GOING TO KILL HIM!!”

At that, the field flickered before sputtering out of existence. Asgore moved towards Sans. His priority. Sans was still glowing, never having moved from his position. Sans shuddered, then he moved. His head slowly lowering, the light blinding Asgore.

The Hands slowed and began to sign.

 

I…W.H.A.T…

I...A.L.M.O.S.T.

K.I.L.L.E.D…

G.R.I.L.L.B.Y…

 

Sans stared at the wall blankly, the glow never fading. Asgore shuffled closer but the light only burned brighter. Asgore shifted his attention and helped Grillby up instead.

“You good?”

“Gnh… Hurts all over… but I'm fine. Thanks for coming.” Grillby hurt more than he'd like to admit but he was more worried for Sans. “Sans… are you okay?”

Silence even from the Hands and only the barely noticeable trembling answered Grillby's question.

Asgore glanced at him worriedly. “Help me pull the curtains down?” Grillby smiled weakly. Asgore nodded and did as asked. The room seemed brighter with the curtains now closed.

Even after much coaxing, Sans never moved, nor did the magical glow fade away. The purple had only darkened and tears beginning to fall.

“Let's go downstairs and get a drink shall we Grillby?” Asgore forced a smile, placing a furry paw on the elemental’s shoulder.

-

Grillby lit another cigarette, smoking gently. He looked up at Sans room from outside. The glow was faint, but you could see the room was lighted up. Dropping his head into his hands, Grillby groaned, slouching.

“Grillby. What happened back there?”

“He had a nightmare.”

“Better question, what happened when you were… when both of you were captured?” Grillby didn't turn, silent.

“Grillby? Grillby... This isn't the time to think about whether Sans is going to be angry about you sharing. We only want to-”

“Help. I know. This… this is hard for me too okay?” He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. He was surprised when it came out shakier than he thought it would. Grillby shook the ash off his cigarette before continuing.

“Asgore. I would… I would tell you. I would do anything to help Sans. I mean, look at him. He's… like that. I thought it would be better after tonight.” Asgore waited patiently. “It's so messed up.” Grillby cursed several times.

“I… I can't. Not right now… I'm sorry.” Grillby puffed several times before snuffing out the almost burnt out cigarette. He turned, trudging back into the house. Asgore stared after him. 

\--

When Grillby went to check on Sans, the light had dimmed in his eyes but Sans still shook. He hid, out of sight, examining Sans. The cracks in his face were filled with the glow as well. It would never heal. Never shrink or fade. 

His right eye, where the more serious crack was, had difficulty seeing and Sans always seemed to need to squint his weaker eye to catch things.

Now, they were both wide open, blue magic flowing and shining brightly, tinted by the purple that represented fear, agony...

The scar on his nose seemed to look more dangerous in Sans light. The black object, the drainer attached to Sans skull looked smaller in the glow. It had gaps in the back for tubes to be inserted, ready to pull away magic. Black rubber wires wound around Sans throat, going lower down his spine. Each vertebrae had a black square attached behind as well, connecting it all to the drainer.

Grillby moved his attention lower. Sans had scars criss crossing his neck before it faded away into the black hoodie he wore. Grillby knew there were more scars and cracks hidden beneath his clothes. His hips had never healed properly, the abuse too much for it to ever be used effectively again.  Grillby clenched his fist tightly at the thought.

Alphys had tried fixing the major break in his hip bones, pelvic area and legs. It hadn't gone very well. Sans was still in pain with every movement of his hips and legs thanks to the drills and knives set to it. It even made scratching sounds as it clacked against each other. The clicking came from the metal Alphys had placed to help right the bone, or at least fill the gaps between the bones so it wouldn't fall apart or shatter.

The holes drilled into Sans hands and legs were another permanent reminder of their failed attempt to rescue Sans. Proven even more by the Hands that constantly rotated and signed around Sans himself. Sans never complained about them hurting, but Grillby had gotten used to seeing Sans often rubbing the holes subconsciously, sometimes wincing.

He left quietly, sitting down on the couch beside Asgore who'd fallen asleep, soft snores rumbling from the giant goat man. He closed his eyes, falling into a dreamless, peaceful rest.

\---

“Yes yes. I'm at Pap- no everything's fine now. What? Oh no I haven- ah it's okay. Sorry. Tell Frisky I said good morning.” Asgore muttering into the phone woke Grillby.

He rose from the couch sleepily. Looking down, he realized he hadn't brought a change of clothes. He went up briefly to check on Sans. Sans was still awake, in the same position as yesterday. The glow was gone completely. He had his hands gripping tightly on the sheets, rocking back and forth, humming some odd tune. It was faintly familiar and Grillby tried to think.

It dawned on him that the tune was the music played in the background whenever Sans was hooked up. His jaw tightened, and he pondered whether he should go up and stop Sans. He decided against it, hurriedly going back down.

“Good morning Asgore. I'm going back over to my place to pick up some change of clothes. Do you mind…?” He gestured upstairs.

Asgore smiled. “No worries! Take your time.”

\--

Sans hummed the tune. He hated that tune. Oh how he loathed it. He didn't know why he was humming it. Right down to the note. He twisted the sheets in his hands, rocking side to side. He stared at the wall, memorizing every shade and crack and imperfection. His Hands no longer stayed around. He was so drained. He couldn't hold up the Hands forever… So extremely exhausted to the bone. It was the kind of tiredness that wouldn't go away, no matter how much or how long he slept. The kind that ate at him, chipping away.

He ground his teeth, the sound making him shudder but he did it anyway. Then, suddenly, everything was dark. He felt himself moving, but he didn't know where to, or how. When he blinked his eyes, he was still rocking, but the sheets had been torn to shreds beneath him. He slowed, fear and confusion making his head hurt. Blood stained his fingers, his throat. Both ached, a slight burning sensation as he felt blood sliding down his throat and hands, soaking his hood, his sleeves.

This… this thing had been going on more often. Blanking out and then finding he had scratched himself. Whenever his thoughts overwhelmed him, or when he remembered too much… Sans froze. Last night. Grillby… where was he… Sans began to shake.

Oh Asgore… had he killed him? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took me a little longer than I tot it would. Enjoy!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Teleporting  
> -Guidance sht  
> -Asgore's a blur fluff  
> -More Grillby-Sans?

Asgore walked up the ramp. He was deep in his thoughts, recalling last night's events which was probably why he missed the flash of blue.

When he reached Sans’ bedroom , he looked up. And got the shock of his life. The sheets were bloody and torn and Sans was nowhere to be found.

\---

Grillby stuffed the final pair of jeans into the duffle bag. How many days was Papyrus gone again? 2 weeks. that's right. One day gone, 13 more to go. He was determined to make this through. It was all he could do to repay Sans… 

He exited his apartment above his bar and slowly walked down the stairs. He thought he caught a flash of familiar cyan blue and he rushed down. Grillby blinked. Odd… his eyes must be playing tricks on him again. After last night…

Several minutes passed as Grillby made his way back to Papyrus's home. His phone buzzed in his back pocket and he paused to pick it up. It was Asgore. His heartbeat sped up but he forced himself to calm down. Hopefully it was nothing.

“Hey Asgore.”

“Uh… it's Sans? He's not in his bedroom. The windows are closed. And his wheelchair is downstairs. I think he's teleported.”

“What? I didn't know he could do that anymore.”

“Me neither. I'm out searching the area for him. Mind looking for him too?” 

“Don't mind. Be safe Asgore.”

Asgore mumbled a “you too” before he clicked off. Grillby groaned. This was getting way out of hand.

If he were a skeleton, where would he go? He slowed his pace, looking around him carefully. He passed by the Ghosts home and decided to knock on the door.

Napstablook answered. “Oh… hello.”

“Hey. Have you seen Sans recently?”

“No… why? Is…. Is something wrong?”

“Nothing. Thanks!” He hurried off, waving a hand back. Grillby moved on. He saw a flash of cyan across the road and he hurried across, receiving angry looks, loud honks and some furious yelling. He had just crossed when it flickered and flashed again and he knew Sans had moved on. If it was Sans that is.  

-

Sans teleported again. Where was he? He couldn't find Grillby. Not anywhere... There hadn't been dust on his hands, or in his bedroom... Not that he could see any way. Had Grillby left him? Maybe... 

_ THIS. Is what your magic can do. You see? You cannot help but harm those around you. _

Sans swallowed, groaning. He put his head into his hands, squeezing his eyes shut.

-

Grillby groaned, leaning against a tree. He'd been searching for the past hour. It was hard to keep track of a jumpy teleporting skeleton whose mental state was really quite questionable. He closed his eyes and reached for smoke. His hand bumped into a bony finger and his eyes flew open, staring straight at Sans who sat cross legged, rocking side to side and slightly blue.

“Y-you're okay?” Sans asked.

Grillby blinked, having to strain to hear him whisper the words.

“Yes I'm okay Sans.” He sighed with relief. 

Sans clasped his hands together, flushing.

“I m-made you worry, d-didn't I.” It wasn't a question.

“Not much. Don't disappear like that again. Next time, leave a note or wait for Asgore or me alright?”

Sans hesitated before nodding.

“Let's go home then…” Sans paused, reaching out his hand. “You… want to teleport?”

Sans didn't answer, simply staring into Grillby's eyes.

“Okay…” Sans moved, fingers trembling as they closed around Grillby's arm. With a buzz and a flash of blue magic, they were back on the bed, Sans landing atop a pile of bloody rags. Grillby paused, nausea almost making him lurch off the bed. He waited for it to pass before speaking.

 

“Give me a sec while I call Asgore.”

\--

Sans stared at Grillby. He was still alive. Still alive. He'd protected him. Almost killed him but still alive.

He felt his vision darken around the edges. No… he couldn't let it happen again. Not in front of Grillby. He fought back against the darkness.

 

_ YOU CAN'T FIGHT IT _

_ GIVE IN _

 

A deep, echoey voice rumbled in his head. 

 

_ “Who are you? Go away!” _

 

_ GIVE IN GIVE IN GIVE IN TO THE VOI- _

 

“Sans?” A voice broke through the shadows, clearing his head.

Sans blinked and almost shrieked at Grillby's closeness. 

“Stay here and don't go anywhere okay? I'm going down to talk with the gang.” Sans nodded, whimpering a little, clutching his head. He hoped the thing inside his head, whatever it was, was gone.

\--

Grillby was nervous. Asgore had put his foot down. No more evading those questions. He was going to get everyone here, even get Pap on a call, and Grillby was going to answer their questions.

He knew it was about time. Sans obviously needed help. But Grillby was more afraid of how they'd look at him. Taking a deep breath, he entered the kitchen. Asgore, Toriel, Alphys, Frisk were all there. A laptop had been set up and Papyrus and Undyne's face could be seen.

“I'm here.” Grillby said after a while. They looked up. Faces grim and tinged with worry. 

“YOU'LL TELL US WHAT HAPPENED?” Papyrus asked.

“Tsk. Let the man take his time dear.” Toriel said gently. “Come, sit here beside me.” Grillby moved quietly and sat down, shifting. 

Clasping his hands, he took a slow and steady breath.  _ Calm down Grillby. You're just going to share and reveal the horrors of your torture. Of Sans' torture… it's for Sans good. Sans' had it worse than you. A few months of remembering won't hurt… it shouldn't … _

“Alright… You know how the drainer attached to Sans stole all his magic away right? And they had these weird cuffs made to numb monster's magic?”

Nods all around.

“Yeah.. so after I got caught, they drilled holes into his hands… to punish him for trying to escape. Revenge, that's what the man said.” His hands whitened, gripping tightly on each other. 

“I… I tried to get us out again. Or at least fight back. But I failed. And… and they wanted to punish me.” Grillby could feel his throat constricting.  _ Breathe. It's all over. _

A long pause and Asgore cleared his throat, gently urging Grillby to continue. “But Sans… somehow he managed to break past those cuffs. For a little while. And he accessed his magic in the cylinders holding it. He used it to create those.. Hands. Eight cylinders, eight Hands.” Grillby’s voice tightened, and he could feel himself paling as he moved on.

“He said… he told them to leave me alone. To… to take him instead. And… they did. Oh they did. Hours. Days. Weeks. Months.” Grillby lowered his head, resting it against his fisted hands, shaky breaths making his shoulders shudder.

“What… what did they do Grillby?” Undyne asked, her voice crackling through the speakers.

“What. Did. They. Do?!” 

“They raped him!” Grillby blurted. He clamped his hands over his mouth, tears sizzling in his eyes. “And it wasn't the first time… Sans told me they'd… they'd done it before we even came. When he gave himself up for me… that bastard… he took it to his advantage.”

“He handed Sans to several men. They did anything and everything to him. And… they made me…” Grillby was struggling to keep it all together. “He made me watch. I… I tried… but I was forced. I couldn't…”

He heard laboured breathing. His own. Crying, cursing. He couldn't look at them. Not when he was so… weak. Grillby slumped, holding his head. 

\---

Sans was lying on his front, his Hands rotating. Grillby stood by the door, quietly watching him. Toriel and Alphys had left. The goat lady saying she had to do some grocery shopping and Alphys claiming that she'd left some stuff on in the lab. Sans didn't seem to notice him, his eyes were black holes. Grillby sat down gently beside him but Sans didn't seem to bother, the only sign was the purple beginning to glow in his eyes.

The purple was mixed with something else… black. Grillby leaned closer. He'd never seen the skeleton glow black before. The black seemed to glow all around Sans, turning darker and darker. Sans’ breathing quickened. 

It was like he snapped. No warning at all. His hands were clawing at the sheets, at his own bones. His fingers sharpened, scratching and digging into bone, deep into the marrow. Grillby jumped. He gripped Sans’ arms,  forcing them down onto the bed as Sans thrashed silently. He bit down on Grillby's arm and he hissed. Sans kicked again, clawing at Grillby's arms.

“Someone! HELP ME!” He roared.

Footsteps thudding outside. Asgore and Frisk appeared. Not wasting time, Asgore moved to help hold Sans’ legs steady. Frisk pushed his head down so he wouldn't bite again. The dark glow brightened around him and the purple in his eyes grew until they were two beams of purplish light shining wildly. 

Sans was grinding his teeth, purple poking through the gaps. Dark echoey growls sounded from Sans' throat. It never occurred to them that it didn't sound like Sans. The Hands clicked, rotating. His thrashing never slowed, finding renewed energy as the black light spread.

“Stop that thing! It's… whatever it is it's using Sans!” Frisk yelled.

“How?” Asgore grunted, struggling to keep Sans under control. Sans bucked, his soul shuddering.

“Sorry Sans.” Grillby muttered. He increased his body heat around his hands, scorching the bones. The black receded, slowly. The smell of burning filled the air. Finally, the black glow faded away entirely.

The purple light flickered. Sans arched his back, blood trickling from his lips as he bit down hard on air. He lay gasping on the bed as his eyes adjusted. He stared straight into Grillby's eyes. For the first time not pulling away. Minutes passed.

Grillby felt a blush growing under Sans gaze and he moved to get off the skeleton, releasing his hold. A boney hand grabbed his wrist pulling him down and Sans hugged Grillby, nestling his face into the leather coat the elemental wore. Asgore and Frisk both let go, watching silently as Sans tightened his grip, sobs shaking his body.

 

T.H.E.V.O.I.D…

I.T...I.T.W.A.N.T.S.

N.E.E.D.S…

 

The Hands sputtered out.

“The Void? Was it that black thing? What does it want? You?” Grillby pried Sans away from him. “Sans what was that?”

Sans hung his head, shaking it. Grillby shook Sans gently. He looked up when he got no response, pleading Asgore, Frisk, for help. Frisk put her arms around Sans but didn't pull away when he tensed. Asgore grinned and pulled Grillby, Sans, and Frisk all into his wide arms for a major group hug. 

“It doesn't matter now. You're okay. That's all.” Sans choked back a sob at that and leaned his head against Grillby, falling asleep.

\---

Sans squirmed out of Grillby's hug, rubbing the new burns along his arms. Asgore and Frisk had gone sometime while he slept, he didn't know when. Grillby had fallen asleep too. 

He really needed to get over his fear of people touching him. His body ached from being so tense despite being asleep. Everything below his hips hurt so bad from thrashing around. Sans watched Grillby carefully. His glasses had slid off and now lay somewhere in the sea of crumpled up sheets. The flames rose off his head, crackling softly. His whole body emitted waves of warmth, but not burning or too hot. It was so cozy lying in his arms. Not like when Leon -

Sans stopped the thought returning to inspecting Grillby. The elemental set a soft reddish orange glow to everything. It made the room look inviting and homely. Sans reached out, pausing for a moment before he traced Grillby's closed eyelids. 

There was some solid mass beneath the flames. Strangely, Grillby hardly ever burnt things, unless he was extremely emotional and lost control over his heat, or just wanted to burn things up. Grillby didn't stir, mumbling softly under Sans touch. 

Sans blushed and drew back his hand. He loved this monster to bits. He didn't know if Grillby loved him back. He hoped so but seriously doubted it. The elemental had been kind and understanding. But that's what you would expect from someone who was your best friend, and the guy who suffered the torture with you. 

He'd never seen or noticed much “relationship affection” from the monster but that was to be expected. Whatever feelings Grillby possibly had for Sans, was probably gone now. Sighing Sans rubbed the holes in his hands, switching his mind to think of other things.

Today, the Void had been overwhelming. Screaming in his head to let it take him. He'd tried to hold it off as best as he could. He knew that if he allowed the Void to do that, he wouldn't be around anymore. Either swallowed up by the Void and controlled, or dead and gone. Most likely the latter. 

The Void hungered for Sans' magic. It wanted that power. And it seemed to wouldn't be able to attain it unless Sans was dead. Wait… that wasn't a nice thought to hold on to… Sans groaned before lying back down beside Grillby. Things were getting better. Kind of. At least he wasn't so afraid of Grillby anymore. 

He'd seen the look of utter rejection on Grillby's face whenever he'd flinched. It was such an involuntary movement, reflex. He wished he could rewind. Just so he could wipe of that look from Grillby’s face.

Even Papyrus. He was such a mess when he came to his loud and overly excited brother. He knew Papyrus meant well but he'd hid so much from Papyrus that his brother… He stopped thinking when Grillby opened his eyes lazily.  Grillby widened his eyes.

“Good evening Sans.”

Sans give a timid smile. The Hands flickered into view, waving. Man he loved this monster way too much.

\--

 

“What?” Sans squeaked. His voice still barely rose over the volume of a whisper. Alphys had said it probably was going to stay that way.

“Wait. Me?” Grillby chuckled nervously.

“Yes you too Grillby. You're both going for some therapy.” Toriel repeated firmly.

“This is ridiculous! I don't need any -” the look Toriel sent silenced him and he turned his head away, sighing.

Sans rubbed his hands, constantly moving them. The Hands were twitching too. 

“Look boys, I know it isn't very appealing. But I've already asked the therapist to drop by. I promise it won't be as bad as you think.”

Silence.

“Alright. How about 8 months. If you still don't like it, by the end of those 8, months, we can stop and try other methods.”

“6.”

“I'm sorry?”

“6 months.” Grillby pressed.

A muffled agreement from Sans and Toriel tightened her lips.

“Alright.” 

\--

Grillby crossed his arms as he stared at the lady before him who was busy arranging a stack of papers by her desk.The tag on her chest pocket read “Chrissy”. The room was a light blue colour with a desk at the centre and book shelves reaching from floor to ceiling against the wall. Everything was neat and clean - just like how Grillby liked things to be. Especially his own space. A brown file with his name printed on it was on the table. 

Her silky black hair was piled up on her head in a neat bun. Not a strand out of place even with curls by the side of her head that looked completely natural. She had clipped nails and wore a salmon pink dress and black boots laced up all the way to her knees.

Grillby was almost impressed. Almost. 

“Hello Chrissy.” He said, finally breaking the silence. She turned, surprised.

“Oh hello Grillby. Apologies, I didn't see you come in.” She laughed. It was light and tinkling. Almost like bells. “How are you?” 

“Oh just fine thank you.” Grillby mumbled. He didn't know why he'd put up with this plan in the first place. He wasn't a talkative person. Not before, and not now. Especially not to this strange person in front of him. 

This was going to be a long day.

\--

Chrissy sighed after Grillby left. He hadn't been very cooperative. He'd met her cool gaze with his own fiery one, his remarks as calm and collected as hers. But she was certain she could break through his thick facade. Ah well. She met clients like these all the time.

She hadn't any issues with monsters. In fact, the goat looking lady who'd come looking for her days ago had been most pleasant, seeking her help. When she'd looked up the monster, she'd been most surprised to find that this woman(?) was the Queen of Monsters. 

Chrissy took a sip of her coffee. The next monster was coming in soon. Both Grillby and the other - a skeleton by the name of Sans - had been captured and tortured. Sans she'd heard had been abused for 4 years before he was finally rescued. Grillby had joined the skeleton monsters a few months in his torture.

She had never dealt with issues on such a big scale before but she was ready to take any challenge on. A rap on the door and she called out a light “Come on in!” 

The door was pushed open and she almost choked on a gulp of her coffee. She hadn't expected the skeleton to be seated in a wheelchair, 8 translucent blue hands forming a semicircle above him. 

She smoothed the front of her dress, recollecting her thoughts. Sans’ eyes darted around the room before looking her up and down. He was wearing a black turtleneck beneath a navy blue hoodie. He wore black jeans and sneakers. She was surprised. She hadn't expected him to wear human clothing… but then again.

“Hi Sans. I'm Chrissy. Come on closer.” She gestured at him. He flinched but slowly pushed himself nearer.

 

H.I…?

 

The Hands signed. She was rusty in her sign language but seeing his Hands sign in simple letters didn't make her as worried about not understanding him. She was hoping that his signing wasn't too difficult. She didn't want to push her clients into talking, especially if they didn't want to.

She just had to keep up. That, she could do. 

\--

Sans rubbed the holes in his hands. He desperately wanted to hide in his room and return to cutting but he'd agreed to be here. 6 months. It didn't seem too bad. The lady… Chloe? He glanced at her tag. Chrissy. Yes. Chrissy seemed nice enough.

He realized she'd asked him a question. Signing off a few quick apologies, he asked her to repeat. She laughed.

“I asked what do you do at home?”

… 

Sans thought hard…

 

N.O.T.H.I.N.G.

 

“Oh I'm sure you do some things?”

 

W.A L.K.

 

“Oh you can walk?”

 

5 S.T.E.P.S.

S.T.I.L.L…

 

Sans hadn't made much progress even though he'd practice hard. He was disappointed but not surprised. Since when was he ever not a failure?

“That's good! Keep trying. I'm sure you can walk again. Don't give up. Anything else?”

 

S.T.A.R.I.N.G…

 

“At..?” She urged him smiling.

 

C.E.I.L.I.N.G…

G.R.I.L-

 

Sans stopped signing.  
  


“A girl? Who?” Sans stayed silent, staring blankly back at her. “Alright, moving on.” She changed the topic as if he hadn't just blown off her question.

“Let's work things slowly okay?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't like Chrissy tbh. Reminds me of a friend.  
> Also Guys. Did you notice therapist? The.Rapist. THE RAPIST. THERAPIST. I'VE FOUND OUT THEIR SECRET. DON'T GO NEAR THEM.


	11. Do you Remember?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING  
> -Implied rape  
> \- Chrissy's a manipulative ass crack  
> \- Chrissy is crazy, delusional and... more crazy  
> \- Grillby's more observant than you think  
> \- Worried Paps a little?  
> \- THE VOID  
> (is one freaky little thing)

“Are you sure you have nothing else to say?” Chrissy leaned back, tapping her polished nail on the table.

“Yes, I’m sure. Thank you for your time. My friend and I will be taking our leave now.” Grillby nodded at the woman across the table and exited the small office. Sans looked up from his place next to the doorway.

D.O.N.E?

“Yep. Why don’t take a detour to my bar?” Grillby adjusted his glasses. 

Sans nodded.

\---

“2 months… 4 more to go.” Grillby took a sip of his wine, staring off into space. Sans mumbled a soft agreement as he picked at a loose thread on his jacket sleeve. “Do you like her? The woman I mean. Chrissy. Does she… Is it helping?”

Sans tugged harder at the thread, shrugging slightly. Sans didn’t know anymore. It wasn’t like he had a past to compare to. He stopped himself from flinching when Grillby shifted closer, wiping the counter. The bar was quiet with few customers around. It was getting late. 

“Do you trust her though? That she won’t…”

A ripping sound as Sans pulled on the thread harder than he thought, making a small tear in his jacket. Grillby sat down slowly. 

“D-did I.. scare you?” Sans looked up, biting his lip nervously.

“No Sans. You didn’t.” Grillby answered gently. Sans wasn’t sure if that was a lie. Sans went back to inspecting the tear in his jacket, humming. “Sans. Do you remembered anything from back in the Underground?”

Sans shrugged. He’d tried. There was always some mental block. Other memories would resurface. Leon… the twins… some other man… It would scream, howl in his head and block out any kind of old memory coming back. Maybe it was better that way. What if the Underground had been worse? Maybe that's why he didn’t remember…

He felt a twinge in his soul and San sighed. His Hands dissipated, leaving behind a soft blue glow. 

“Was… Was the Underground scary?” Something at the back of his head nagged.

“I don’t remember it being scary.” Grillby laughed, taking another sip. “Want some?” He asked, tilting his cup at Sans. 

Sans started, hesitating. No one had asked what he wanted before… not really. Not so directly…

The sudden realisation that he had control over what he wanted to drink was almost overwhelming. He could… he had a choice...

Sans reached out, then paused again. Had he drunk before? Maybe… did he want to keep that? What if… what if he got too drunk and people - Grillby was here… he'd be fine. Maybe just a sip…

Sans reached over, taking the cup. His fingers brushed over Grillby's and he blushed, quickly taking a drink. It burned down his throat, hot and familiar. 

_ Stay determined Frisk _

_ Promise me you won't reset anymore _

_ Don't. Whatever you do. Don't touch Papyrus. _

“Whoa slow down there Sans. You don't want to get drunk do you? Your brother will kill me.” The glass of wine was pried from his hands. Sans blinked.

_ GO ON… _

_ DRINK. _

_ I CAN GIVE YOU EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANT. _

Sans flared, jerking his head to locate the echoey voice. No one… No one but Gri-

_ OH BUT I'M RIGHT HERE _

He saw eyes, hands identical to his, peeking out from the dark. Sans jerked his head back and almost bumped straight into Grillby. His eyes danced, fear evident in them.

“Sans? What is it? What do you see?”

Sans glanced behind him briefly. Nothing. It was just a voice in his head. A trick. Nothing more.

“I… I thought I saw someone…”

\---Several Days Later

Chrissy leaned closer to the skeleton. He looked so cute. She knew she shouldn't get attached to her clients. But still… maybe she could…

“You know what's good Sans? You're getting a bit more relaxed…”

Sans shrugged, his shoulders drooping.

“Have you ever thought why your friend, Grillby, doesn't like being here? I mean, you like me, don't you? I'm pretty, he's hot...”

Sans blushed. She smiled softly. 

 

I...I.D.O.N.T.

K.N.O.W.

G.R.I.L.L.B.Y..I.S

…

“You know what Sans? Let's try something new today. Chrissy got up from behind her desk. She walked past him and locked the door. Sans stiffened.

She turned him around, leaning closer. Sans jerked backwards as her manicured hands closed around his wrists and she moved in.

Her lips pressed onto his, her tongue easing it open. He yelped in surprise, his cries muffled by her mouth. A blue glow lit up, and he felt his magic, aroused by her kissing, begin to form a tongue. She pulled back, only to dive back into the kiss. Sans jerked but she was firm, holding him tight. He tasted so much better than she'd imagined. 

She brought his hands above his head, using one hand to hold him securely, and another to reach under his shirt. Sans moaned, tears staining his eyes. She rubbed each rib,caressing his spine.

She felt something beneath his ribs. In-between. Lifting his shirt, she saw a blue glowing heart, pumping steadily. 

“Please I-” she grabbed the object, smiling. This wasn't the first time she'd done this. Especially with monsters. If she couldn't have Grillby, this cute skeleton would do. She rubbed his soul and he moaned again. Chrissy smiled wider. She ran a tongue over his soul and he jerked wildly in his chair. 

“It's okay. I won't hurt you.” She murmured, biting gently into the heart. It was crisscrossed with scars, weird markings and lines all over it. “Do you want this?”

“I-I-”

“If you don't…” her voice darkened.

“Y-yes… I-I want this.”

She grinned and bit down harder. Before long she was kissing him again, her tongue in his mouth, exploring, prodding. Invading. She looked into his eyes as she tugged his pants down. He was crying. He must be so happy. 

“I want you to call my name softly. I want you. And I know you want me.” She murmured, tracing her finger around his pelvis.

“Look at you, you poor thing. What did the bad people do?” She rubbed harder, inner. Into his coccyx. A blue glow enveloped him as tears ran down his cheeks.

\---

Grillby looked at his watch. It was getting slightly late. He tried to turn the knob. It was locked. That was odd. It usually wasn't. He knocked on the door.

A muffled - “hold on!” A five minute pause. Grillby tapped his shoe on the floor, getting impatient, and a little concerned.

A click as the door unlocked. Chrissy looked up at him, her perfect hair, for once, a little tousled. 

“Sorry we're a little late. Sans just wanted to share a bit more than usual.” 

Grillby pushed past her. The floor was wet. Like it'd been washed recently. It sizzled under his heat. 

“Sans are you alright? Did you throw up?”

Sans had his back facing him. That was weird too… Sans never let anyone get behind him without his turning around. Not even Grillby.

“Sans?” 

“Oh he's just a little overwhelmed! He did quite a bit of sharing today didn't you?” Chrissy stepped in front of Sans, giving him a peck on the lips. Grillby snapped, fire crackling.

“Hey! Do you mind? He doesn't like being touched!” Grillby pulled Sans away, crouching down to look at him. Dark red lipstick pressed messily against his lips. How much lipstick did this woman use? He wiped it off gently. Sans didn't protest. Didn't even flinch. His eyes were empty hallows. 

“Come-on Sans. Let's go home.”

\---

Sans was quiet. He couldn't think. What had gone so wrong? She was… supposed to help him… thank Asgore for Grillby… he'd knocked on the door just as they were half way through. She'd moved with incredible speed, getting him back up, quickly wiping off any fluids on the floor and then opening the door. She'd been smart too, kissing him in front of Grillby so he'd think the lipstick on him had come from that and nothing before.

Sans shuddered, sitting next to Papyrus in the back of Grillby's car. He felt so violated. So useless. He hadn't stopped her. He couldn't. Something stopped him. It made him pause and not fight back. When had he… 

\---

Papyrus glanced at Sans who sat huddled in the corner of the car, shaking and muttering, his Hands going in a frenzy, signing too fast for even a single letter to be registered in Papyrus brain.

Sans had shut down, not looking at anything, his hands tearing at the jacket. Had it been a bad idea to send Sans to a therapist? But counselling had seemed to help… maybe today was just a bad day.

\---

Sans rolled himself back in. Chrissy smiled down at him, closing the door behind him. She was about to lock it when a translucent Hand closed around hers.

 

S.T.O.P.

I.W.O.N.T.

L.E.T.Y.O.U.

 

Sans never turned once, simply rolling himself towards the table. Waiting for her to walk back.

“What? You-”

 

W.A.L.K.B.A.C.K.

 

“Sans! I-”

“WALK BACK!” He hissed. She noticed for the first time that his voice never really rose beyond that volume. Like he was telling her a secret. She swallowed, doing as told.

“So… yesterday-”

 

I.W.A.S.N.T.

H.E.R.E.

Y.E.S.T.E.R.D.A.Y…

 

Sans looked up at her, a truly confused look on his face. A chill ran down her spine as a black glow flickered around his eyes. 

“oh.. oh uh ahaha. My bad. Time passes by so quickly, doesn't it?”

Sans smiled, tilting his head.

_ “I'm not comfortable with you touching  _ _ me _ _. Only one person can.” _

Chrissy blinked. The echo faded away and she brushed away the thought. Something to note for the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was writing this in the night. And I tell you. A bug flew right at me and I thought it was Gaster. It freaked me out. d: Someone stop me from writing this. It gives me the "creeps"


	12. Things will get better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Sansby smut  
> \- Some Papyrus(Promise there will be more of the others)  
> -The Void  
> -Byebye Chrissy :P

Sans took a deep breath. 

“I’m going to just walk around okay? And you’re going to stay with your eyes close. Do not move if I touch or near you.” 

 

O.K.A.Y...O.K.A.Y.

 

Sans shut his eyes. He could hear her footsteps, from behind the desk to the corner of the room. 

“Alright. So what are we working on now?”

 

B.E.I.NG…

C.O.M.F.O.R.T.A.B.L.E.

W.I.T.H.

P.E.O.P.L.E.

 

“So you say you only trust one person enough to do this?”

 

Y...Y.E.S.

 

She sounded nearer now. Sans tensed. 

“What did we go through?”

 

B.R.E.A.T.H.E…

T.H.I.N.K.O.N…

O.N…

 

Sans couldn’t concentrate. She was so close. Her footsteps sounded too loud. He was trembling. He needed to calm down… Think on something better. Something nicer. Some things happened. But it’s past now… People aren’t always going to hurt you. But.. but they did.  _ She _ is...

“Good. That’s better.” Closer. Sweat broke across Sans’ forehead. His Hands signed off several curses too fast for Chrissy to catch. 

Even with his eyes closed, Sans could feel the Void creeping in. The occasional darkness. It had been quiet before. These few weeks, it was getting bolder again. Hungry. He didn’t want it around. Especially not know. He’d kept it under control. Things were slowly getting better. 

He slept more, although his nightmares didn’t go away. It never did. But he wasn’t afraid of sleep now… Those monsters plagued him even when he was awake. No point in avoiding sleep if he couldn’t avoid the monsters anyway. 

He couldn’t avoid Leon. The man always had Sans kneeling somehow. Always scraping away. Leon had loved making Sans hurt. Not just physically. He’d taunted him. Took him. Touching, groping away at places -

Chrissy was suddenly way too close. It felt too tight. Like in that bedroom. The same bedroom that seemed to haunt his dreams. No matter where he was. Always chained to that pole. Aways -

 

_ ALLOW ME TO HELP YOU! _

_ I WILL MAKE THIS SUFFERING END!! _

Blackness swallowed him and he fought.

“Stop Sans! Stop! Okay thats enough!” Her hands were on him. Too close. Too much. She was going to- In a frantic move, he grabbed onto her soul, throwing her away from him. She slammed into a bookshelf, tumbling to the floor in a heap. Several books thudded around her, thankfully and miraculously not hitting her. 

The door opened and Grillby’s head looked in. He took in the situation quickly.

“Hey there Sans. Calm down.” Sans was shaking, purple tinting his vision, pupils small and trembling. His eyes were open wide, his gaze jumping all over the room. His fingers clutched at the collar of his hoodie, twisting the cloth. Blood stained his fingers, seeping from his eyes, the cracks on his head, his lips.

 

S.O.R.R.Y...S.O.R.R.Y…

S...S.O.R.R.Y…….

 

The Hands were a frantic mess, four of them clinging on to Sans’ sleeves. The other five stutteringly repeating the signs.

“Okay Sans. We’re here remember? Back into the room. Forget about him. Focus on my voice is that okay?”

Sans’ eyes never stayed on an object for long, glancing over everyone and everything in the room but he nodded. 

Chrissy slowly got up, her body aching from just being thrown across the room. She watched in fascination as Grillby slowly brought Sans back. He drew closer to Sans, his hands out in front of him, like he was taming some wild animal. 

Before long, he had his arms wrapped around Sans who still shuddered, purple still flaring in his eyes. The black faded, clearing his vision.

“We’re leaving.” Grillby said after a while.

“What? B-but its not time yet! Sans still has another hour to-”

“We’re leaving.” Grillby repeated.

“You handled him so well! It’s amazing. You can stay, just to make sure he doesn’t-”

“I said we are leaving!” He turned, glaring at her.

Chrissy could feel her cool slipping. “Fine.” She said after a moment of glaring. She curled her hands into fists, trembling with anger. This elemental had caused her so much trouble. After days and weeks, he still maintained that collected composure, never faltering once. He never answered her questions. It was infuriating and she was finally breaking under this new, unbeatable challenge.

Grillby gently pushed Sans out of the room, shutting the door behind him with a click.

\---

That stupid woman. She’d pushed too far for the last time. He wheeled Sans until they were in a secluded corner before stopping.

“Hey are you okay?”

Sans was rubbing the holes in his hands again, nodding, humming.

Screw Toriel and Chrissy. They could argue over Sans mental state some other time. This obviously wasn’t working. Grillby closed his eyes, rubbing his temples. He knew he himself wasn’t in a very good mental state either. However, he was considerably better compared to Sans. The only issue he had was those nightmares. Those blasted nightmares…

“You know what? We’re going to my apartment. I’ll call Papyrus and tell him that we don’t need him to pick us up today. How’s that sound?”

Sans froze and Grillby winced inwardly. Bad idea obviously.

Sans hummed his agreement before Grillby could say anything else. Grillby pushed the wheelchair forward. 

One second he was still in the hallway surrounded by offices. The next, he was outside his apartment. Grillby tightened his grip on the handles, waiting for the sudden dizziness of teleporting to pass. 

“Okay… Next time, I’d like a warning.” 

Sans quietened, signing off more apologies.

After he had made the call, Grillby moved Sans until he was in a circle of chairs. Grillby sat beside him, wiping the blood off his face. 

“Where'd you scratch yourself this time?” He muttered, not really asking. “Try to not do that Sans. That's gotta hurt.”

Sans had bitten his own teeth, grinding into them. The force must have been so strong, it had caused him to bleed. Deep scratches were all over his face. “That fucking woman is going to drive me crazy.” Grillby let his head fall back, landing on the couch’s backrest. 

“Grillby… am I… Am I broken?”

Grillby blinked, flicking his eyes to glance at Sans. The skeleton was slouched low in his wheelchair, drumming his fingers and staring at them. Purple still flared in his eyes every now and then. Grillby smiled sadly and reached over to pull Sans into a hug.

“Hey. You weren’t ever broken in the first place.”

Sans hiccuped, tears running down his face.

“Fuck… Grillby every time… I can’t stop thinking about it… I’m supposed to be the b-big brother… I was going to f-finally take care of P-Papyrus. I’d failed to defend him in the Underground… And I’ve failed again. I can’t get things r-right… I’m s-such a screw up.”

Grillby was silent, thinking. He wasn’t good at this thing - talking and comforting. 

“I just want  _ him _ to go a-away. Every time someone gets close, I s-see him. I see his hands t-trying to…” Sans gulped for air, squeezing his eyes shut. 

“So… How come you’re not afraid of me?”

“I… I don’t know… I just… It’s so c-confusing. You were there… I-I… I d-don’t know…” Sans raised his head, staring at Grillby. Grillby was instantly reminded of how tall Sans was. How close they were all of a sudden. Grillby blushed but he couldn’t tear his eyes away. He wanted to kiss those bones. Make the pain go away… Help ease Sans worries. But he was afraid. 

Sans obviously didn’t like people touching him. Even though he might be an exception, it didn’t mean he could take that privilege and use it to touch him. Unnecessarily anyway. The stare was going on for too long and he could see a similar blue flush touching Sans’ cheeks. Yet he couldn’t pull away. It was hypnotizing. 

Grillby swallowed, feeling the red on his own cheeks darkening. He finally tore away, slowly and gently. Sans grip tightened. 

And suddenly, he was pulled down, a Hand gripping his collar. His lips touching Sans’.

\---

Sans had no control over his own body. The urge had been too much. Seeing Grillby redden was all he needed. He tugged Grillby down, kissing him. 

The kiss deepened and Sans gasped as Grillby returned his own affection. His mouth widened slightly and Grillby moaned, slipping his tongue in, gently teasing Sans’ lips. Several moments passed and finally the kiss ended, Grillby panting, hot air hissing through his mouth. They stared at each other. 

“S-sorry… Did I go too far?” Sans mumbled, suddenly afraid he’d made the wrong move.

“Holy fuck Sans. That was good…” Grillby chuckled, pressing Sans’ skull tightly to his chest. “Are you okay?”

“Y-yeah…” Sans hid the grin spreading across his face, burying further into Grillby’s leather jacket. There was a long silence as the two snuggled closer together.

“How… How long have you felt this way?” Grillby asked, not daring to look down at the skeleton.

“I… Heh… way back into Underground times…” Sans blushed harder, the blue in his cheeks never seemed to lift. “Did… do you…”

“Do I actually love you? Of course I do. Way back into Underground times too you big numbskull.” Grillby’s flames flickered, turning an odd shade of red. “Is this what you want though? I don’t want to push you…”

“I want this.” Sans said firmly. 

“No really Sans. I want you to think carefully… After what you… what _ we _ both went through… I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I’m sure about this Grillby. I… I know I’m still… I’m still trying to find all my pieces but I… I want this…I… I would like it to go slow though…” Sans bit his lip. “Could we n-not tell anyone?”

Grillby didn't question it. He nodded.

\--- 5 Weeks later

“Okay so what did you do today?” Papyrus asked his brother. He’d come back not long ago after work. Setting down his bag on the table, he sat down heavily across Sans. They’d gone through this every day. Making sure Sans remembered everything. Sans still struggled although he seemed to be getting better. 

He recognized people, faces. Remembered dates. The past few weeks, Sans had seemed more relaxed more at ease around people. Papyrus had even caught him and Grillby being a little intimate. Nothing more than hugging really, but it was something that Sans was afraid of doing with anyone else. Even Papyrus. Admittedly, he was a little jealous but glad that Sans was loosening up.

“Well?” 

“I got out to the lab. Did some… … said some hellos to people.”

“Was it scary?”

Sans shrugged. He was dressed in a turtleneck - it seemed like his preferred clothing these days - a dark blue jacket and baggy jeans that hung over his mutilated legs. He never wore any shoes, only socks. Sans even wore gloves that had holes because he had a habit of rubbing them. He wanted every inch of him to be covered as much as possible.

“Well, that's okay. Want some dinner?” Another shrug. Papyrus grabbed a pot anyway and started getting ready to cook.

 

I...P.A.P?

P.A.P.Y.R.U.S...

 

Papyrus paused. Sans Hands were still very much active, signing even when he was speaking. But sometimes, Sans just used his hands. Usually when he was anxious and just forgot to speak.

“Yes Sans?”

 

I.M

S.O.R.R.Y.

 

Sans cleared his throat. “I'm sorry for being troublesome… I… I really want to be a better older brother…”

“Aw Sans… you're a good enough brother already.” Papyrus set down the pot. “Sans, don't worry yourself over it. I  _ want  _ to do this. If I didn't help you, that wouldn't be me. Even if you aren't you right now, I'd still be going about things the same way. Stop okay? Just stop beating yourself up over everything. You're getting better! You can't let things that go wrong stop you. Just accept that sometimes, you're not in control. That these things happen.” 

“You are a good older brother… what you endured in the Underground… although I don't like the fact that you hid the resets from me, and the nightmares and just about everything.I know you don’t remember any of that..Anyway... But I know you did it because you love me and you wanted to protect me. And you're doing the same thing now. Hiding away. But I'm not that young naive little monster. I'm 26 years old now. You can tell me what's going on. You're so… you don't do the same things you did anymore. You don't make your puns, or drink condiments. Or even smoke which are all totally bad for you by the way.”

“You've changed so much… and I'm proud of you but at the same time… I'm scared of losing you brother.”

Sans sat mutely, listening. Papyrus sighed.

“I'll go out to get some food instead. I just remembered I don't have tomato sauce.” Papyrus headed for the door. As he was twisting the doorknob open, he felt a hand grip on to his shoulder. He turned.

Sans stood straight and tall, although trembling. His wheelchair was several paces behind him. He stared into Papyrus eyes and silent words were exchanged. Sans hugged Papyrus, leaning into him.

Smiling, the taller skeleton hugged him back. Several moments passed.

 

C.O.U.L.D.Y.O.U.

H.E.L.P.M.E.

S.I.T.?.

L.E.G.S.T.I.R.E.D…

 

Sans Hands signed. Papyrus laughed.

“Anything for you brother.”

\---

Sans took a step. Pain shot up through his bones and he almost buckled beneath the pain. He didn't look up to see how close he was to the middle. Sans had made 7 steps. It was frustrating for him. 2 years and he could only walk so much. Barely even reaching the center of the handrails that supported him. Even though the carpet beneath him was supposed to help, every step he took reminded him of every missing piece in his legs.

Each drill, each toe… he didn't like looking at himself. It still made him ashamed. Scared. It was foolish, like Mettaton said when he'd come over once. 

_ “What do you mean you can't look at yourself? You are you darling! I'm made out of parts and machinery that even I don't know how it works. Certainly, I asked to be this way but it's me now! And look at how glorious I am! The same for you Sansy. Nothing to be afraid of!” _

That one occasion had made Mettaton so furious, he'd left in a huff, saying he won't be back in a while.

Sans gripped the handrails tighter. He was determined to make it through. If he failed, at least no one would be around to witness it. He took another step, crying out. Fuck… the agony… 

“You’re g-gonna make it.. You don’t need help. You can do it Sans… w-walk… It’s not that hard.”

He knew his eyes were flashing. Sans forced himself to clear his thoughts. Crap this was so painful. He gulped for breath, swallowing hard before continuing. He didn’t know how long he took. Break. Breathe. Step. Cry. Break. Breathe. Step. Cry. Repeat. Finally, it was over. He’d done it. He reached the end, sobbing in relief. Sans collapsed onto the carpet. His shoulders shook as he struggled to catch his breath. So damn tiring and painful and... It was worth it. 

 

He’d get better. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AUGH. There we go. Just a heads up, my schedule is busy during November and in December, I'm like, gone. Poof. Disappeared. Not dead. Just on hiatus. I'll be back though. For now, enjoy my lousy presence. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	13. The Voice In My Head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Confusing convo  
> -The Void

Papyrus smiled, leaning against the wall. He was so proud of Sans. He’d walked the whole length all by himself! What an accomplishment! Papyrus crept back up to his bedroom, still grinning away.

\---

Sans sat on the bed, holding his head. Fuck those whispers. Get them out!,

_ Come on now Sans. This is your future. You know what you'll be. What you're destined to be.  _

Sans didn't. He tried to bring up something that had happened before. Maybe this was the effects of people messing with his soul. Taking it apart…

_ Give in. I promise to make you forget. And remember all that you've forgotten. _

What? That… didn't make sense…

_ All I want is 10 minutes with your body. In return, I will give you a memory back. A good one. _

Sans swallowed, wrenching at the sheets. He couldn't allow even a minute with this thing. This darkness. It would kill him. 

_ Give in to The Void Sans. _

Yes… the Void… that's what it called itself. Sans groaned, squeezing his eyes shut. He wouldn't let this monster in. This monster that always seemed to be at the corner of his mind, digging, clawing away. It always left a cold, sick feeling in his bones. He couldn’t… He-

_ I AM THE VOID AND YOU WILL GIVE IN. YOU  _ _ WILL _ _ LISTEN TO ME!! _

Sans turned. Everywhere was darkness. The Void was everywhere. It wouldn’t leave him alone. What had trigger them? After Grillby had burned him, they hadn't so much as poked him. It seems like they'd been preparing. Sans was overwhelmed by the darkness. He suddenly felt something warm in his toes… in all of them

He looked down. His toes… they were back. He gaped. Sans looked up and his soul almost stopped. He was looking at himself. He was tall but his scars were gone. The wires gone. Even the drainer attached to him. When he raised his hand, the copy did the same.

He reached the back of his head, feeling around. Smooth white bone. This must be some kind of trick… He stood and for the first time, felt no pain. Just strength in his bones. His copy smiled.

_ Hello Sans. Do you like yourself? Imagine… I can give you this… in return - _

_ “My body?” _

_ Yes, of course. Control. You can have your whole life here. The life you wished it could be. _

_ “... It wouldn’t be real… would it?” _

_ It would… in your head it would be. _

_ “It wouldn’t be real… you’re not real… THIS. isn’t real. YOU’RE NOT REAL SO GET OUT OF MY HEAD!” _

_ Oh I will… for now… _

Sans gasped, shuddering. The black receded, leaving him blurred and confused. Hands gripped his shoulders, and the smell of burning bone filled his nose. The floor was damp, and his body ached. The floor… Hadn’t he been on the bed? He jerked, nausea suddenly causing him to pull away from the hold, throwing up. 

“Alright Sans, thats good. You’re up now…” 

P.A.P…?

“And Grillby, Frisk, Asgore along with Alphys. I had to call them in. What’s going on Sans… I heard this is the second time this… Dark looking glow controlled you.”

Sans still couldn’t see. His head swam, making his vision hazy and everyone he saw looked like weird coloured blobs squatting around. 

I...I.D.O.N.T.K.N.O.W…

He tasted bile rising in his throat and he vomited again. His soul shook. It sent tremors all over his body and suddenly, he felt cold. The same cold as the one days before he was broken out of that hell hole… The same cold feeling that poked at his bones from the inside. Something was wrong with him…

M.Y...M.Y.S.O.U.L….

Warm hands steadied him. 

“Whoa there Sans. Okay… Golly! He’s… He’s freezing!” Fur tickled his bones, as fuzzy paws went under his arms, pulling him up. He felt and heard his hips click, his feet ached. His hips ached… Had he walked here? Wherever here was. He bit down a cry of pain as he was carried bridal style in someone’s arms. Grillby’s… 

_ Are they going to hurt me? Will they hurt me? What are they- _

Sans buried the thoughts before they could take root. He needed to get over this fear. He was supposed to be strong… supposed to be… Sans knocked out.

\---

Grillby felt Sans tense in his arms, his grip tightening. He remembered this feeling. Carrying a cold and unconscious Sans in his arms. He could feel a wetness seeping into his sleeves. Looking down, Grillby almost dropped Sans in shock. Blood was soaking the front of Sans jacket, and more ran down from his pants. 

“Guys… he’s bleeding. He’s bleeding a lot.”

\---

Sans jerked around, the chains heavy on his arms. He was stuck in the darkness again.

_ “This is my head… Maybe if I imagine I’m-” _

_ Oh enough of this nonsense. _

Sans’ copy stood in front him, the scars still present, but the device on his head that wound around his body was no longer there. 

“How are you doing this? What are you?” Sans was surprised to hear his voice come out stronger. Firmer. Louder.

_ I’m you. _

The Void gestured at his body.

“No… You’re not. You’re some… crazy thing in my head.”

_ Haha! Oh alright. If you’re so anxious to know what I am. _

The scene around him changed, the darkness seeping away. Sans stared. He remembered this room. This part. They’d meddled with his soul, taking it apart. He watched himself, screaming silently. Ripping him apart… Slowly. And somehow, death hadn’t come. He hadn’t dusted…

_ They touched with things they didn’t completely understand. Monster Souls. Souls in general really. A monster’s magic is essential to his being. It moulds them, helps them remember everything. Thats why you’re forgetting. _

_ “I… I don’t understand. Are you saying my magic is my memory?” _

_ In a way, it is. It helps you pull up front anything you want to remember. Anything you need to remember. But without your magic, it gets difficult to excess a past part of your life. Sure, you can use your magic and you won’t forget so much. But this is different. Your magic isn’t being used to express yourself. It isn’t helping you. Its disappearing, forced out of your body. _

His soul was in pieces, people inspecting it. His eyes were closed, a purple glow surrounding him.

_ “This doesn’t explain why you’re here.” _

_ I’m getting there. When they took apart your soul and ‘froze’ your body so you wouldn’t dust, your body couldn’t handle it. You needed something to hold you together. So something else had to fill the emptiness. The void. Your body worked in overdrive to fix itself. It couldn’t get back that magic, and it couldn’t regenerate with your soul in different places all at once. It defies the very being of monster nature. So it created something else to fill that void.  _

_ “You…” _

The scene faded away, and Sans was left in the darkness again. He looked up at the Void.

_ Only one person can be in control of this body Sans. And I intend to be the one in charge here. I’m more powerful than you will ever be. You’re broken Sans. _

The Void tapped Sans’ head, smiling sadly. Like he pitied Sans. Like he wasn’t trying to take control of his body.

“You can’t do this. This is my body. I’m in control here.”

_ Are you really? You’re in chains again. And I can access everything you can’t. Do you remember this?” _

The scene changed, morphing. Snowdin. Sans could see his old self. His old, shorter and scarless body slouching on a chair. A guard post. 

It changed again, standing behind a young girl. Frisk.

“Don’t you know how to greet a new pal? Turn around and shake my hand.” Frisk slowly turned around, shaking his hand timdly. A loud farting sound. Sans chuckled. “Heheh… the old whoopie cushion in the hand trick. It's ALWAYS funny.”

_ Sans looked on, frozen. He knew this. He recognized it.  _

_ “Where’d you get that…” The memory was already starting to fade. He tried to bring it up but it slipped away. “Give it back! I need it!” _

_ No.  _

Sans blinked. It was dark again. “You have to give it back… It’s mine…” It hurt just trying to focus on that memory. In his mind, to him, it didn’t exist. How can you remember something that didn’t happen? He whimpered.

_ I’m being civilised here Sans. If you go along with me, I won’t make your life miserable. This can be a good thing. You won’t suffer from people’s actions.  _

“I… I want my body back. It’s not the same.”

_ Fine. If you want to play it that way. _

The Void morphed, changing, twisting. One second he was a skeleton, the next he was a flaming fire elemental, glasses perched on his nose. Grillby. Sans knew it wasn’t him. Knew Grillby wasn’t actually here. But the Void teased him, convincing him that yes. It was Grillby. 

“Sans.” Grillby’s voice was stony. 

“G-grillby?” 

“Don’t you ever talk to me again. I know you liked it when they raped you.”

Sans flinched. “W-wait. I-I didn’t. Grillby I c-can explain. I-”

“Don’t. Stop trying Sans. You’ll always be a whore. A stupid monster that can’t even remember me.”

Sans pulled against the chains, crying out. “P-please Grillby-”

“Its Papyrus.” His brother stood before him, a sneer twisting his once gentle features. “Don’t you remember who your own brother is? Why are you so selfish! Always thinking about someone else and not your brother! Why won’t you let me touch you?”

“I… I c-can’t… I’m s-sorry. I d-don’t understand. Y-you-”

“Trying to push the blame on me now? When will you grow up and be the brother you’re supposed to be? You left me alone. For four years. And the years before that, you weren’t any better. Lazing around, drinking. Fighting. Smoking. And now? You just sit around and mope. You’re useless!”

“I-I’m trying… P-please just g-give me a chance. I-I’ll do better the n-next ti-”

“How many resets has it been? How many chances were you given?” It was Frisk, arms crossed and frowning.

“Too many thats what I said. We should have killed his brother and not reset. Just to teach him a lesson. Sans never was good at anything.” Chara…

Sans curled, sobbing. This couldn’t be happening. This wasn’t happening!

“You left me alone in the Ruins! You never cared getting to really know me. Look at you! You’ve even forgotten that I was the one you could go to. That I was the monster behind the doors, helping you!” Toriel snapped.

“We used to be friends.... And now you’ve forgotten me…” Napstablook whispered.

“I-I’m sorry… I’ve failed you… I’m so so sorry. P-please g-give me a chance… One la-”

“You see. No one loves you but me.” Leon stroked Sans jaw. Sans jerked away. 

_ You’re imprisoned in your own mind Sans. How can you ever hope to be in control of your own body when you can’t even make sure your mind doesn’t turn on you?  _

_ \--- _

Papyrus piled more blankets over Sans. It’d been a whole day and he still hadn’t woken up. He hoped this was just an average cold. Maybe Sans needed this rest. Maybe. Papyrus went over to his book collection. Sans used to read to him. Now Sans could barely even reach up to the highest shelf because he was stuck to his wheelchair. Papyrus had moved most of what Sans would read to lower shelves but he’d been so ashamed, he hadn’t returned to the bookshelf.   
Papyrus knelt down, pulling out a joke book. He spent the next hour reading to Sans.


	14. I'll Teach you All about the Underground

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -The Void  
> -Rejection
> 
>  
> 
> -Probably should have done more Underground exploring but I'm a butt. Oh well.
> 
> Anyone has any ideas what Sans'new job should be? Cause Idk.

_ If you put your happiness in other people’s hands, they’ll drop it every time. But me? Ahaha. You can trust me. Can’t you? I mean, you have to trust yourself. _

“You’re not me.”

_ I’m you in every single way. Have you changed your mind yet? _

“Why don’t you just take it? Take my body. Why are you asking? What’s the point in torturing me this way?”

_ I’m a civilised monster, just like you. Besides, I’m sure you want more… control in your life…  Obviously, you’re a little blurred in your current state. After all, don’t they say you need your memories to mould your decisions? _

“Go away.”

They were back in Snowdin, behind some trees.  _ Sans _ could see his old self, crouching down. Frisk approached Papyrus, who had his arms wide open.

“I, PAPYRUS, WELCOME YOU WITH OPEN ARMS!”

Frisk moved, her blade flashing in the air, striking through Papyrus’ armour.  _ Sans widened his eyes.  _

A dark crack appeared across Papyrus's chest. He started to dust, his skull toppling into the snow.

“W-WELL. THAT’S NOT WHAT I EXPECTED… BUT… ST...STILL. I BELIEVE IN YOU. YOU CAN DO A LITTLE BETTER! EVEN IF YOU DON’T THINK SO. I… I PROMISE!”

_ Sans screamed, jerking in his wheelchair. This time, the memory didn’t fade. It repeated in his mind like a broken record stuck on replay. _

_ It’s killed or be killed? Don’t you remember? _

_ The memory quickly changed. _

A long hall with large pillars towered over them. Sans saw himself, standing, Papyrus’ scarf wound around his neck, battered and torn. Frisk stood before him, hair covering her face so he couldn’t see her expression. They fought hard, Sans bringing up his blasters, blasting at her, his bones shattering through the ground. She died. She reset. They fought again. Before long, Sans was tired. His movements clumsy and slow.

Sans tried to keep fighting. But he was so tired. After all, it was all just going to be reset. It was all- The blade sank into his soul, dragging downwards and cracking it open. Sans fell  backwards. Blood stained his jacket.

“So… guess that’s it, huh…? … just… don’t say I didn’t warn you.” Sans climbed to his feet, eyes closed. “Welp.  I’m going to Grillby’s.” He staggered off, out of Frisk’s sight. “Papyrus, do you want anything?” He collapsed, his soul beginning to dissipate.

_ “No… Frisk… Wha-” The scene replayed again. Sans closed his eyes,  refusing to look. _

_ Don’t you just hate it when your friends aren’t really friends? _

Sans’ copy, the Void laughed.  _ I think you’ve had enough for today. Why don’t you go back to the real world? Let’s see how much better you can do. _

\---

Grillby was listening to Papyrus read to Sans. The third week had gone by and it was cutting into the fourth. Grillby was starting to get worried that Sans wouldn’t wake up. That-

The lump underneath the pile of blankets began to shudder and Papyrus paused. The soft sounds of coughing could be heard, just barely thanks to Sans’ now natural quiet voice and the blankets muffling it. Papyrus leaped from his chair, toppling it and dropping the book. They landed with a loud bang that made the lump still. Papyrus paused.

“Sans?”

The Hands flickered into existence. There was something wrong with it. They looked like they were glitching all over the place, not really in one place at all, blurring and focusing. Papyrus peeled back the layers of blankets. Sans blinked, coughing. Grillby moved towards Sans. One second the skeleton was there, the next, he was sitting behind them by the doorway, hands pulling on his opposite sleeves, hugging himself.

“Sans? Are you okay?”

A long silence that stretched forever. Papyrus scrunched his face up in worry.

“I’m sorry…” Sans whispered. Then, he was gone again in a flash of blue.

“Shit! Papyrus. He could’ve gone anywhere! We gotta- … Papyrus? WAIT!”  Papyrus pushed past Grillby, already out of the house by the time Grillby had gotten out of Sans’ bedroom. Grillby cursed.

\---

_ Stop trying Sans _

Sans huddled in an alley behind a dumpster, clutching his head. “Mrpfh… Get ouut… It wasn’t real.”

_ Why are you so selfish! _

“It wasn’t real…”

_ Why won’t you let me touch you? _

“I-... I don’t know! Focus… focus… breathe…”

_ When will you grow up and be the brother you’re supposed to be? You left me alone. _

“It wasn’t… It…gnnn... wasn’t.... … real… I.. I didn't mean to l-leave...”

_ You just sit around and mope. You’re useless! _

“I’m sorry… guhn…” Blood ran down his fingers, dripping on the floor.

_ You never cared getting to really know me. _

“It’s… not… was it… real…? I c-cared.. really...”

_ And now you’ve forgotten me… _

“I didn't... I didn't I didn't I... I... aauuuuuuuuuUUUGHH!!!” Sans slammed his fist into the wall. A ripple flowed around his fist, spreading outwards. Another burst of magic and the wall exploded. Unfazed by it, a shield surrounded Sans almost immediately.

_ SINCE WHEN WERE YOU THE ONE IN CONTROL? _

Sans teleported again, breathing hard. “Please… just leave me alone…”

The Void materialized, squatting down to look him in the eye, slightly translucent.

_ You’d have to kill yourself for me to leave you. Need I remind you who I am again? _

Sans teleported, hissing and squeezing his eyes shut.  He peeked through half opened eyelids. And snapped them shut again.

_ Oh please Sans. We’ve had enough of this drama, haven’t we? You’re still here, in control. _

“Just… give me back my life… I want it to go back to… to whatever it was.” The Void chuckled before sighing. He cupped Sans’ chin in a warm fiery hand, tilting it up. Grillby stared back at Sans, a soft smile on his lips. “Grillby? I-mpfhhh” Grillby smothered his protests with a kiss. Sans moaned, a smile spreading across his face.

_ Don’t you ever talk to me again. _

Sans pulled back with a gasp. He threw his hand out behind him to break his fall, scraping it against the ground. Papyrus was in a similar position, blood staining his lips. “Shoot! Pap- What-”

“Sans? What are you doing? Trying to kiss me? Are you crazy? You… You bit my lip…” Papyrus rubbed his mouth, a look of disgust and shock stamped onto his features.

Sans pulled himself up, crawling towards his brother. “S-sorry… I thought you were Gri-”

_ Always thinking about someone else and not your brother! _

Sans closed his eyes. It wasn’t real. It wasn’t real. He opened his eyes and he was back in the darkness. 

\---

Grillby burned at Sans’ arms again, and the blackness dwindled, disappearing. Sans lurched, opening his eyes. Sweat drenched the plain t-shirt and jeans he had on. Sans was in his bedroom again.

“Sans! You’re awake… We have to-” Sans pulled away, cringing.  He muttered something that Grillby couldn’t catch. “You said what?”

“I-I said d-don’t talk to me.” Something flickered around Sans. Shimmering around him. The glow brightened and then much to Grillby’s surprise, and Papyrus who sat next to them, a hoodie took shape around his body before solidifying. Sans pulled the hood over his head, curling up. Grillby extended his hand but stopped, inches away from pulling back Sans’ hood. He swallowed hard before pulling back, holding his hand to his chest like cold water had been poured over it. Grillby stood, stumbling out of the room, dazed.

Papyrus was suddenly scared. He wasn’t sure if his brother would reject him. If Sans didn’t want even the only person he was comfortable with, around him, what more his brother. Papyrus knew Sans and Grillby had something on. He’d walked in on them once, their lips interlocked. He’d left quietly, knowing that Sans would come out when he was ready.

But if he would reject Grillby… Maybe he should check on Grillby first. Papyrus edged off the bed and went to look for the elemental. He found him outside, already smoking and staring out into the night. When had it gotten so late? He moved to join Grillby who barely glanced at him.

“Cig?” Grillby mumbled, pulling out a pack. He’d probably done it out of politeness or something like that and was obviously quite surprised to see Papyrus accept it. He helped the younger skeleton light his cigarette.

“How are you handling?” Papyrus asked, his back leaning against the fence, arms resting on the top plank.

“Fine.” Grillby ashed his cigarette before returning to quietly smoking. “He’s stuck in that head of his. And I can’t get him out. I’m just… scared that I… I won’t be able to save him…He’s so… so dead! But he makes me feel alive. In a way I’ve not felt in a long time. And I wish I could make him feel the same way.”

Grillby breathed, smoke rushing out of his lips. “I know it’s not his fault y’know. He’s just… going through some really complicated stuff. And I want to help him through that. But I can’t if he won’t let me in. If he keeps rejecting me, us… I’m scared. Terrified. Terrified that I’ll lose him. But I’m willing to wait for him. However long it takes. Because honestly? I don’t want anyone else. ”  Tears were beginning to gather, evaporating under his heat.

“I read once… this person… she said, ‘we think we need to understand people, to know whether or not they’re loveable, but in fact, until we love them we can never understand them.’ ”

Tears fell, but never reached past his jawline before they were burned away, turning the flames slightly fainter. Papyrus tilted his head back, the cigarette in his lips. He needed to dump some emotions too.

“I wish sometimes… That Sans would just let me hug him. I haven't dared to in a long time. I'm still waiting for him too. To just be comfortable around me. I know he doesn't remember much, if at all. Way back into Underground times, he'd smile and laugh and make puns.” Papyrus blinked and a tear a slipped from his eye.

“I knew it was fake. That he was trying to not let me worry. I just wish he can be happy. Even if it's not with me. He deserves it.” Papyrus let out one more puff before crushing the cigarette in his hands.

\---

“Please Sans. Talk to me. Say something!” Grillby sounded frantic.

Sans ignored the elemental, focusing on taking a step. His bones tightened around the railings as he bit back a yelp of pain.

“What did I do wrong? Did I say something? Please, whatever I did, I’m sorry.”

Sans paused, a look of hurt and confusion flashing across his face.

_ Don’t you ever talk to me again. _

_ ‘This is some sort of trick, isn’t it? Testing me.’ _

_ You’ll always be a whore _

_ ‘If I accept him… if I defy what he said… Everything he said will be right. I’ll be nothing more than a… a slut.’ _

“Sans? Sans I don’t know what I sai-”

“You told me never to speak to you again.”

“I… I what? This must be some kind of misunderstanding! I don’t know when or why I said that. I promise you, I didn’t mean it.” 

Sans flinched. Grillby ran a hand over his face, taking in a shaky breath.

“Please Sans. It’s been so long now. I-” Sans teleported back into his wheelchair, giving up. He wheeled himself away from Grillby. He didn’t want to fall into his trap. He knew in his head that if he ‘forgave’ Grillby, Grillby would break his facade and laugh at him. Tell Sans that he’d been right all along.

\---

The bell rang, and Toriel slammed the oven door shut.

“Frisk sweetie, do you mind getting the door?” She called out.

“Sure mom. I think it’s my friend Jesse comi- oh!”

“Who is it Frisky?”

“Uh… Hi Sans."

"..."

"Come in dear!"

-

Sans glared at Frisk.

_ ‘Have I really been so blind as to not see her dark side? Had that really been her… No mistake. Her fashion sense has still stayed the same. It was her. This sweet innocent looking girl that had been my friend… she’d killed my brother mercilessly.’ _

Sans looked behind her, seeing a nervous but definitely pleased goat lady exit from the kitchen.

“Sans! What a sweet surprise! How have you been?” Sans shrugged, sending another suspicious glance at Frisk who stood awkwardly by the door. No doubt she was uncomfortable with his stares.

“You haven't come in a long time. I was starting to think you'd forget where I lived!” Toriel laughed.

Sans flinched and Toriel trailed off.

_ You left me alone in the Ruins! _

“So, Sans, what have you been doing?” Frisk asked, smiling gently. “Do you die today? The weather's kind of good.”

Sans jerked, looking at her.

W.H.A.T.

“I said, do you like today? Because the weather's been pretty good.”

Sans tightened his jaw, frowning.

“This was a bad idea. I'm sorry… I… I gotta go.” He turned, teleporting away.

_ You never cared getting to really know me. _

Sans instantly regretted leaving. Maybe he should have stayed… but Frisk… being around her confused him. She seemed so nice... but that memory... if he stayed there any longer, Toriel would get suspicious. She probably wouldn't understand... 

_ Look at you! You’ve even forgotten that I was the one you could go to. _

He swallowed hard. 

\---

Papyrus rubbed away the sleep from his eyes. He'd woken up early because he had to get to work to finish a presentation. Papyrus walked down into the kitchen to prepare some spaghetti for he and his brother, whenever Sans woke up that is. He froze at the doorway. A bowl of oatmeal sat on the table, steaming hot. A post-it note was stuck to the handle of a spoon beside it. Papyrus walked over to it.

'For you Pap. Went out to find a job’

Was written in Sans’ blocky but shaky lopsided handwriting. It was obvious he hadn't written anything in awhile. It was a little messier than his usual font but unmistakably his brother’s handwriting. Papyrus looked at the clock. 5 a.m. Sans never woke up this early. Not even before he had been captured, when he had a job at the lab. The earliest he'd ever seen his brother awake was at 10am. This was not like Sans at all.

Almost as if to make sure, Papyrus quickly went up to Sans bedroom. The sheets were slightly rumpled, several dark coloured turtlenecks strewn on the floor. No Sans. No wheelchair.  Maybe Sans was getting better?

\---

_ Well haven't you changed, little Sans? _

Sans ignored the translucent skeleton that appeared next to him, staring out onto the lake. The sky was still dark, the edges starting to turn pinkish.

_ 2 minutes? I promise you I won't do anything bad. _

N.O. N.E.V.E.R.

  
_ Oh fine. I'm a patient monster. Just like you. _


	15. Its Everywhere

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING  
> -Rape  
> -The Void  
> -Papyrus :D  
> -Sad Grillby  
> -Sad Sans

Sans pushed past Grillby, rolling his wheelchair down the street. His expression closed off and unreadable.

“Please Sans. You can’t ignore me forever! It’s been months now. I’m sorry for whatever I said.” Grillby jogged behind Sans. He still didn’t remember ever saying anything like telling Sans to never speak to him, but whatever it was, Sans wasn’t talking to him. He reached out to stop the wheelchair but a Hand glowed a dark green and A shield flickered into place, stinging Grillby’s fingers.

“Please… Please please please Sans. What happened? I… I’m sorry. I really didn’t mean what I said.”

Sans turned his head, pausing momentarily. Dark circles under his eyes, black pit holes that seemed to stretch forever. A new scratch was on the side of his cheek, and Grillby was certain there were worse, deeper scratches hidden under Sans’ clothes. He knew he should give it up, that he was starting to sound desperate. But Grillby wanted - no - NEEDED Sans in his life. And if he didn’t get him back, he didn’t know just what he was going to do with the rest of his life.

\---

_“S-stop… j-just fuck… stop..”_

_Chrissy ignored his protests, digging her hips in._

_“P-please… I c-can’t… c-can’t…” He clawed at her hands, the feeling of helplessness too overwhelming._

_\---_

_Sans bit down on his arm and drawing blood, holding back a moan as Leon thrusted harder, holding his pelvic high in the air as his captor positioned himself over him. Minutes of hard and fast jerking forced Sans to gasp for air, panting._

_“Please… ohhh f-fuck… j-just stop… I -I can’t -”_

_Leon jerked harder into Sans bluish magic._

_“Oh shut up you noisy little twerp. Not unless you want me to keep going for another hour._

_\---_

Sans lurched awake, choking back a scream. He took in several ragged breaths, trying to calm himself. He heard a soft knock and he looked up. Papyrus was standing by the “doorless” doorside, his skeletal hand raised to knock on the wall again.

“You okay?”

_I’m always having to take care of you. There isn’t a time where you’re actually normal, is there?_

Sans smiled, his hands glowing a soft blue in the dark. Something flickered at the corner of his eye and Sans had to force himself not to jerk away. It was just the holographic looking copy of himself. The Void. There was a way to tell it wasn’t him now.

The Void had a longer more narrow skull and a sharp chin whereas Sans was still rounded. The Void also had higher, more refined cheekbones that were constantly lifted up in a dark smile. Not only that, while Sans right eye could no longer see or glow ,both of the Void’s eyes seemed to be in perfect condition despite the right eye seeming a little smaller, like he was always squinting. His left eye glowed blue and his right, purple. Just like Sans. But not really.

The Void was never not around, watching him. What he would do. Sans licked his lips. He could play this right. No second chances this time. No resets. He gripped his pants and swung his legs over the side of the bed, leaning down to slip on his shoes.

“Sans?”

 

I.M.G.O.I.N.G.

O.U.T

 

“Sans. It's 4am.” The Void laughed as Sans froze, his fingers tightening around his shoe laces.

“I’ve got work.” He recovered smoothly, quickly teleporting to his wheelchair and pushing himself to his cupboard. He pulled out a dark blue fur hoodie and pulled it on.

“Sans… don't lie to-”

“I do have work.” It wasn't a complete lie. He did have work.

“Come-on. I'll send you. Where do work now? I haven't seen the place.” Papyrus followed him down, grabbing his car keys from the kitchen table.

_You have to depend on me for everything! Can't you for once, do something for yourself?_

“I don't need you to send me.”

“Uh sure… but I want to.”

_I feel like I'm constantly lying just so I can make sure you're out of trouble._

“I-Its fine.” Sans forced a smile, the only signs of his lie was the trembling of his fingers hidden in his pockets.

Papyrus sighed, stopping Sans by holding onto the push handle.

“Come-on. We're getting into my car. Let's go.”

Papyrus ignored Sans squeak of surprise and rolled him out the door. He waited for Sans patiently, holding the car door open. Sighing, Sans pulled himself out of the wheelchair onto the car seat. Papyrus picked up the wheelchair, folding it and placing it in the back before making sure everything was secure.

\---

_Leon pulled Sans’ arms above his head, clicking the cuffs tightly into place. His back facing Leon, Sans tried to turn, shaking with fear._

_“P-please… I’m sorry. I-I should've-”_

_“Enough. You will do everything I tell you to do unless you want your little brother or boyfriend to know what you've been up to.”_

_Sans swallowed hard, his eyes darting around. A cloth went over his eyes, tied tight around his skull._

_Leon dragged his finger down Sans’ spine, his other hand going under his ribs and stroking his soul._

_“Go on Sans. Give me something.”_

_Sans shuddered as Leon went lower, rubbing his coccyx. A blue glow started up despite Sans attempt at quelling his unwanted arousal.  It solidified around his pelvic bone, forming a vulva._

_Leon hummed his approval, stroked his length against Sans’ clit._

_“Sans. You know how I like this to be.” His voice darkened in a warning. Sans let out a moan as Leon entered, his tip rubbing against the inner walls, filling him.  “You want this, don't you?”_

_Tears dampened the blindfold. “Y-yes…”_

_Leon jerked harder, faster. Sans grunted as Leon’s hands roamed, touching each rib and stroking his sensitive parts. Two of his fingers pried Sans’ mouth open, and following the rhythm of his own thrusts, pulled his fingers in and out of his mouth._

_His fingers explored Sans' mouth, tugging and twisting the blue glowing tongue, saliva dripping, moans rising. Sans bones rattled with each jolt._

_Leon climaxed inside of Sans, and as he pulled out, fluids spurted, staining the sheets. Leon tilted Sans' head higher as he shoved his fingers in instead, tugging hard. Sans screamed against Leon's hand, arching._

_“Mpfhhh… sh-shit…. Oh f-fffuhh…”_

_Leon didn't relent, digging deeper, harder. His nails scratched and drew blood._

_“Say you want me.”_

_“....haaaah… hnagg…” Sans panted._

_“Go on.”_

_“I...ahh… I… w-wa…”_

_“Properly!”_

_“I-I… want…hng... y-you.._

_\---_

Sans shrieked, thrashing. He was thrown forward as Papyrus slammed on the brakes. He gasped. Suddenly, he couldn’t breathe. It felt like someone was pressing down on him, stabbing him. His vision swam and suddenly, Frisk was standing in front of him, a knife in her hands.  She slammed the butt of the knife handle into the windshield and it shattered. She was on top of, her blade plunging into his -

“Breathe Sans! BREATHE!” Sans fingers tightened around his collar as he stopped screaming. Papyrus gripped his arms, staring deep into his eyes. An orange glow had ignited in his brother’s eye sockets, so bright it enveloped them both.

Sans shuddered. His head ached and he could see the Void sniggering, floating just outside of the car, legs crossed and arms folded behind his head. Papyrus realised that Sans wasn’t looking at him and he turned his head, follow Sans’ eye lights.

“What the-Sans…? What is that? WHO the hell is that?” Papyrus turned back.

“Huh?”

“Who is that. Outside.” Papyrus pointed at the Void. Sans widened his eyes.

“Y-you can see him?” The Void, realising something was going on, leaned in closer, a dark purple shimmer following his movements.

“What’s going on Sans? Who is that? And.. Where are we?” They were suspended in the dark nothingness Sans had become accustomed to. Sans shifted.

“We’re… I-I think w-we’re inside my head…” Sans pulled away from Papyrus’ grip, still breathing hard. “Y-You need to get out..."

“What? This is the perfect chance for me to help you! Sans I-”

“Get out… You can’t see this. We have t-to go. We-”

_Leon leaned over, unlocking the cuffs and lowering his arms before strapping them behind his back again._

“N-no… Pap… we have to”

Papyrus was frozen, staring. Sans tugged on Papyrus arm. The Void watched, for once, his expression blank and serious.

_“Good boy Sans.” He stroked Sans’ skull bending down and kissing him, ignoring the saliva that dribbled from his mouth. San grunted, shifting under Leon’s weight. “Say you love me Sans.” Leon murmured against his lips, deepening the kiss._

_“Mppfh...p-please… I c-can’t… Not any-” Leon drew away angrily. Without a word, he snapped Sans’ rib. A scream erupted from Sans’ mouth, a glow appearing under the blindfold._

“Pap…” Sans gripped his skull, lowering his head. Tears dripped down, a deep purple spreading across his cheeks and in his eye sockets.

_The memory changed. This time, he was on the table, strapped down. The drill started again for the fourth time. It entered his leg, pushing past cartilage and marrow. Sans howled. Blood stained every inch of the room, dripping off the drill. They stopped, pulling out the drill._

_“Right that’s one leg. Stop that aggravating screaming. Honestly. Do you want another session?” Sans gulped, his ribs rattling as he steadied himself._

“St-stop…” Sans cried, clawing at his skull.

_Oh shut up Sans. You’re being ridiculous yet again. Can you seriously not take care of yourself?_

Papyrus purred.

_Useless-_

  
“NO!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this one is a little late(And short?). I've been busy with life! Hope you enjoyed this one anyway.


	16. Inside Your Mind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING  
> -Rape  
> -Torture  
> -Papyrus fights  
> -W.D. Gaster

“NO!” Papyrus pushed the copy away and it dissipated. “Sans! You can't actually believe this can you? Sa-”

Papyrus broke off when he saw Sans curled up, shaking.

“N-n-not real… nghhhh. I… not… I… I-I'm sorry… I'm s-sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry.” Sans repeated, eye sockets widened and his skull began to crack under the pressure from his fingers.

Papyrus reached over and patted Sans who jerked away, his back slamming into the car door loudly.

“S-SORRY. SORRY.” Sans was practically hyperventilating. Soft whispers echoed around the dark void, memories flashing by so fast, Papyrus could barely see much of anything.

“Hey hey. You're okay. You're here.”

Sans eye lights flickered before finally settling, although it danced wildly.

“P-pap…? Why… what… how are you h-here… are you… are you real?”

_Since when is-_

“I'm real. Don't listen to those things. Just look at me okay?”

\---

Sans tugged on the seat belt. This wasn't supposed to happen. How has this happened? He needed to get Pap out. Thoughts swam in his head, too many to focus on at a time. Seconds later, they echoed around him, loud enough for Papyrus to hear. He tried to silence his mind.

“Who's that?”

_“Project W.D Gaster” Leon muttered, tapping on a piece of Sans’ soul. The skeleton lay on the operating table, unconcious._

“It's the Void… it's a… it's what I made… t-to replace m-my stolen magic…”

“Can’t you destroy it?”

“I-its… it is it's own b-being now.”

A memory rose and Sans tried to squash it down.

“Y-you have to l-leave. P-please I-”

_The whip cracked down, the sound vibrating in the blood stained room._

_“Gnhh… ahhh…” Sans struggled, pulling himself upright before standing up on shaking feet._

_“What are we at now?” A dark shadowy figured asked, twisting the whip nonchalantly in his hands._

_“Haah…. Uh… t-t-twenty-seven… gnn..” Sans clenched his side with his cuffed hands, wincing._

Papyrus hissed, closing his eyes as the whip came down again.

_Sans climbed to his feet every time before counting._

_T-twenty… eight…_

_Tw...Twenty-nine…_

_Tw...ungh...uh...thirty…_

_T...Thirty o-one…_

_Th-Thirty...uhm… thirty...three?_

_“Wrong. Back down again.”_

_O-one… gahh…_

Papyrus cursed before looking at Sans. Sans flinched every time the whip came down, clawing at his sleeves. The memory flickered before changing.

_Sans opened his mouth in a silent scream, trying to pull away. The hammer slammed down, shattering his left ankle. Tears ran past the blindfold, a purple light exploding and filling the room. His chest rose and fell in rapid movements, his soul shuddering with each breath. He was unstrapped before thrown into the room._

_“Walk.”_

_Sans lay on the floor, struggling to push himself to a sitting position. His hands were slicked with his own blood and sweat._

_“WALK!” A buzz of electricity made Sans slump back down onto the floor._

_He crawled towards the wall, feeling around. Once, he tried to pull of the blindfold which earned him a longer shock, causing him to convulse, throwing up onto the floor. It could have been hours before Sans finally got to his feet, leaning heavily against the wall. A thick trail of blood followed him. His legs shook. He moved out with his right leg, quickly placing it down so he could lift his left. He almost collapsed at the wave of pain that followed._

Sans gasped, throwing his head back, his body heaving with sobs.

“I-I c-can’t… C-c-can’t… hurts… s-so much…”

Papyrus slowly squeezed his eyes closed, a tear slipping down his cheekbones.

“I’m sorry Sans. I’m so so sorry.”

_The memory changed. This time, he was hooked up in a hospital bed, his eyes open wide, glowing a soft purple. A heart monitor beeped. The door opened and Leon entered the room quietly, closing the door behind him._

_“Sans. I’m deeply disappointed.” He murmured, walking up to Sans. The skeleton had on a flimsy  hospital gown that sank into the gaps between his ribs, barely concealing his bones and the beating of his soul. Leon leaned over Sans, taking off the oxygen mask. “You’re going have to pay back for that damage.”_

_“W-wait. P-please… I-I-” Sans protested weakly. Leon kissed him, coaxing him with his tongue as he ran his hand under Sans’ gown._

The memory flickered and Papyrus bowed his head, closing out the sounds that soon followed. Sans hugged himself, eyes glowing.

_Had enough?_

Papyrus looked up. The Void had drawn closer, staring down at him with a raised eyebrow.

“You lowlife scumbag! Leave my brother alone!” He tried to unbuckle his seat belt but it appeared to be stuck.

_The scene changed. Sans was strapped to a chair, electricity sparking across his bones.  He screamed against the gag in his mouth, blood staining the cloth. He wrenched against the straps, trying to escape._

_It changed again. This time he was buckled onto a table, face down. Leon held up a metal rod, stroking it down his his spine, tapping softly._

_“Do you like being beaten Sans?” He asked, seconds before slamming the rod hard against Sans’ feet. Sans bit back a scream as the rod landed on his feet again. The pain burned through his bones, pounding and loud in his head._

_The memory was replaced with yet another. Sans was strapped in a chair, his head tilted back, Leon’s fingers pushed a pipe down his nose._ _The feeding pipe was thick, and would not go in. Blood gushed out of his nose and tears down his cheeks. Leon ignored it and kept pushing until the cartilages cracked. Sans couldn’t breathe, couldn’t scream. Leon kept shoving the pipe farther and farther down until it reached his pelvic area.Sans breathed slowly, gagging._

_Several men meddled around with it, inserting tubes that were connected to needles that entered his bones in various spots. Then Leon poured some slop through a funnel into the pipe, choking him when it came back up. They held him down for several hours so that the liquid was absorbed, and then began to pull the pipe out bit by bit._

Papyrus pressed a fist against his lips.

_How did you get in here? Hmmm…_

The Void circled him.

_You’re still glowing. Most… intriguing._

Papyrus swung a hand at him. Several bones sliced through the belt, towards the Void. The Void easily dodged it. He moved in a blur, appearing behind Papyrus. Several blasters appeared next to him, their jaws open wide with a black glow growing. Papyrus formed a bone, cutting through Sans’ belt and slamming the door open.  He leaped out, grabbing Sans with him. The car exploded, sending them both flying. They landed, sprawled in a heap. Papyrus spun a bone in a circle before letting it go. It continued to spin in the air, an orange glow emitted from the bone and began surrounding them.

Papyrus moved to check on Sans who lay curled up.

_Sans had his hands tied to his chest, a blind fold over his eyes. His thighs and shoulders bound as well. Leon pulled his head down, exposing his neck. He bent over, sitting down next to Sans. He licked Sans’ neck, chuckling when the skeleton moaned, flushing with shame and arousal. Leon kissed him, his tongue searching. His other hand went under Sans’ pants, rubbing. Sans panted, shifting. Leon didn’t break from the kiss, grinding his hips against Sans._

“Sans. Sans are you okay?” Sans didn’t answer, a soft whimper escaping. The Void sent several bolts from his Hands, each pair glowing differently. They slammed into the orange shield, sending smoke and odd bits of black tumbling off the barrier. Papyrus got up, slamming a hand into the barrier. It rippled, bending and the glow spread until it wrapped around his arms. Papyrus moved his hands across in a sweeping motion. A long bolt of orange blasted it’s way, one after another.

The Void managed to dodge them. But in he was concentrating so much on the bolts, he didn’t notice a blast coming in from his right side. It slammed straight into his eye. The Void staggered, covering his eye with a hand. Glitches covered him. Papyrus paused, watching.

_Sans choked, a flush spreading across his cheeks and the jerking behind him sped up. His hands tightened on the sheets, cuffed together._

_“Moan for me Sans.” Leon murmured, thrusting harder._

_“Ngh...haaahh...ahh...anhh…” Sans arched his back._

_Leon rammed himself deeper, his pace stuttering. He came inside of Sans, sighing. Sans eyes widened as he was pulled up and turned around._

_“Please… I-I’m b-begging you…”_

_“Oh I’ll give you a choice. Your eye or your mouth.” Leon raised an eyebrow, letting his length rest against Sans’ head. Sans squeezed his  eyes shut, breathing. Then he opened his mouth and closed it around Leon’s shaft._

When the Void raised his head, it looked like he’d begun to melt, liquid bone dripping off his skull, thick and sticky. The left side of his head seemed in perfect condition but his right eye looked like it was caving it, the eye curved like a half moon. The glow sputtered out before flaring up again. This time, it was orange, the same color as Papyrus’s magic. His left eye was still blue however.

_Well. You’re much stronger than anticipated. Oh well._

_The scene warped, changing. Sans teeth buried in his arm, blood dripping down. His clothes were strewn all over the place. His arms were tied to bed posts above him and he was blindfolded again. Cloth wrapped around his neck, binding his arms and thighs. A man pushed Sans’ legs up into the air, unhesitating, shoving his length into Sans, thrusting hard and fast._

Papyrus swiped out with a bone. A bolt flew and slammed into the memory and glitches covered it before the memory faded away. A glow illuminated behind him and he turned. A purple blaster had appeared and sent out a bolt of dark purple magic. Papyrus attempted to pull up a shield but it kept flickering out of place. He closed his eyes as it drew closer, blinding him.

…

 

…

 

…

 

\- 9999999999999

 

 

 

Sans jerked backwards, falling into Papyrus’ arms. Blood trickled from his lips.

“SHIT! Sans… Oh no no no. Fuck!”

Sans licked his lips, struggling. His fingers pulling on Papyrus’ sleeves. Dust was starting to cover his shirt, glitches covering his soul. Something flickered in his eyes. Papyrus leaned down, hugging his brother close to him.

 

“D...do...do you...w-want...anything...Pa…pyrus?”


	17. Out of Sight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING  
> -Rape  
> -W.D Gaster  
> -More of Paps 
> 
>  
> 
> ENJOY  
> -sorry im late on this one. BUSY LIFE

Papyrus could feel Sans fading, growing lighter. The darkness faded away.

Papyrus blinked his eyes open, Sans lay in his arms, cold and motionless. They were still in the car, buckled up. He’d driven off the road into a patch of grass. He unbuckled himself, quickly getting out and going around. Papyrus opened the passenger side door and pulled Sans into his arms again, sitting down. He placed a hand under Sans’ nostrils. Soft, barely there, but a breath. Another. 

“Sans? Wake up… Sans? Please wake up…” Papyrus rubbed his brother’s arms, hoping to create some friction and give him warmth.

“Sans? Please. I… I just want you to come back. Wake up Sans. This isn’t funny…” 

\---

Grillby sat down, staring at Sans’ pale face lying amongst the heap of blankets and pillows. The heart monitor sounded loud in the quiet room. Too loud.

“Hey Sans… It’s been a few days now. How does being in a coma like?” Grillby bit his lip, falling silent. “I know why you avoided me… And if you can hear me… Just know that, it wasn’t really me. And I’m not mad that you didn’t want to talk to me. It’s not your fault. I’m waiting for you to wake up. I’m here.” He curled his hand around Sans’. He tried not to feel too disappointed when there was no response. Not even a twitch.

“You don’t have to keep trying to protect us… You’ve done your part. It's okay to just tell us what’s going on in your head.”

Minutes passed. Grillby moved closer, his hand tightening over Sans’ boney fingers, brushing over the edge of the holes in his hand. Tears sizzled in his eyes, flowing fast and painfully over his flames. Soon, he fell asleep, his head resting at Sans’ side, the skeletal hand tucked between his fiery hands.

\---

“Grillby. Wake up.” Papyrus nudged the elemental awake. 

“Guh… What?”

“It’s late. And Alphys wants to see us.”

The two walked side by side out of the hospital towards Alphys’ lab. There was a moment of silence between them.

“So this… Void thing…”

“Yeah… It was… It looked almost exactly like Sans as he is now. Tall. Cracks over his eyes, holes in his hands. Except he looked more… More clean. Less scarred. Without the device attached.”

Another long silence as they walked, deep in their own thoughts.

“Here.” Papyrus finally said. The lab was a tall white building with humongous tubes and cylinders protruding out. Automatic sliding doors at the corner of the building with a entrance keypad at the side. Papyrus tapped in a code and pressed a small red button. A small screen flickered to life and the top of Alphys’ head peeked from the bottom. She strained to look through it.

“O-Oh. H-hello! U-uh come in!” Her head popped out of sight for a second. A buzz sounded and the doors slid open.

They walked in, greeting a moody looking Undyne with her arms crossed, leaning against a bare section of a wall. Toriel was sitting in a circle of couches, a cup of tea in her furry paws. Asgore’s huge hunchbacked figure almost blocked off Frisk who was biting her nails. 

“C-come on. S-sit.” Alphys appeared from an opening. She waited until everyone was seated around her before she continued. “O-okay. So Sans is in a c-comatose state. There d-doesn’t seem to be a lot of b-brain activity…”

“Is that a bad thing?” Papyrus asked worriedly.

“I-it’s just the first f-few days… W-we’ll have to see. P-Papyrus… I need y-you to tell me e-everything.”

\---

_ Papyrus noticed Sans breathing was speeding up and he looked over at him. His brother had fallen asleep. He reached over trying to wake Sans. Sans flinched in his sleep, groaning and turning, his magic flowing even though he was sleeping. Maybe he could ease Sans worries. He shook his brother harder, searching for some of his own magic to help soothe his brother. He murmured soft assurances to his brother, letting brotherly instinct and magic take over, flooding over them both.  _

_ One second he was on the road, the next they were completely surrounded by darkness. He pushed down fiercely on the brake, afraid of slamming into something. From there, his brother had woken up screaming, trying to push him off. When he asked his brother how he was, his brother had been staring somewhere behind him so Papyrus turned around.  _

_ When he saw the copy, it had freaked him out. The memories that followed were even more jarring, ripping through his soul. He couldn’t imagine how much it must have hurt. The nightmares… _

_ He couldn’t stand it. The way the memories tortured not just him, but Sans too. Papyrus fought back. There had to be some way of getting out. When the blaster had turned on him, he’d been completely ready to die. Resigned to it even. He had least expected to see Sans teleport in front of him, taking the blow that had dusted him. _

\---

He was afraid. Sans still seemed alive. But what if he woke and it wasn’t really him but it was the Void?

“Hmm… Maybe your magic triggered something.” Toriel said. "You could try going back to wake him up."

“I… I don’t know. I... My brother just got dusted in there!” Papyrus twisted his hands, a look of worry evident on his face. “And… I… I’m not too keen on going back in there.”

“Why?” Undyne asked. “You’re part of the Royal Guard now. You shouldn’t be scared of some… thing that your brother created in his mind. Maybe it's gone now that Sans is gone.”

“Hush Undyne.” Grillby muttered.

“What? HEY. I’m trying to get this skeleton here to help his brother! He’s trained for this kind of fighting. You shouldn’t be scared of-”

“I’m not scared of fighting.”

“Well? What is it then?” Asgore asked gently.

“...”

“It’s Sans memories isn’t it.” Grillby said softly. It wasn’t a question. It was a statement. 

A flush spread across Papyrus’s cheeks and he lowered his head.

“M-maybe y-you can bring someone w-with you.”

“Is that even possible?” Asgore asked, setting his cup of tea down.

“Can’t hurt to try.” 

\---

It was early in the morning and Grillby, Papyrus, Alphys and Frisk were in the hospital room, surrounding the bed Sans was lying in. 

“Me and you?” Grillby asked, brushing a hand over Sans hand. 

“Yeah. So uhm. Just hold onto Sans.” Papyrus instructed. Grillby did as told, looking at Papyrus. The skeleton closed his eyes, an orange glow seeping from under his eyelids. It glowed brighter, shimmering around Papyrus, slowly spreading across Sans and then Grillby. When the shimmer touched him, he instantly felt an odd inner warmth fill him, almost calming.

Moments passed. Nothing. 

“I don't know what's not working. It's the only possible way I could have transported myself into his mind. I even transported the damn car! Kind of…”

Alphys bit her lip, thinking.

“Y-Your brother used his magic a-at the same time. Is there a-a way to make him u-use his magic?”

“Skeletons use their glowings in special ways. It differs when our mood changes. Using different magic. We'd have to ignite the same kind of emotional magic Sans was using to get the same results…”

Alphys flushed. “I-I know a machine t-that can do j-just that. C-changing moods. I'll go b-back to my lab t-to take it.

 

\---

Alphys returned with a device in her hands. She got to work, attaching it to Sans’ arm and the sides of his head. It was a small box like thing with colored wires criss crossing in a messy way.

 

“Where'd you get a machine like that anyway?” Undyne asked, unfolding her arms and leaning forward to get a closer look. Frisk took a step closer too. She'd been quiet throughout the whole thing and Papyrus had almost forgotten she was there.

“I-it was an old model S-Sans was working on. I-I've modified it, fixed it… I-It should w-work.”

"What kind of emotion was he feeling?" Undyne asked.

"Fear... most probably."

"It even has emotional settings." Frisk mumbled, raising an eyebrow.

“Let's do this then. Just… don't make him feel scared for too long.” Papyrus said. 

Alphys nodded nervously, starting up the machine. It whirred softly. Seconds passed and a blue light started up, peeking through Sans closed eyelids.

Papyrus and Grillby placed their hands on Sans arms and Papyrus began pulling up his magic again, flooding them with a sense of comfort. The room fell away, leaving just Papyrus and Grillby, holding onto thin air.

It was cold and dark with the occasional flicker of white. 

“Right. That worked. Surprise… Now... No where to go.” Papyrus chewed on his lip, looking around. 

_ Sans choked, tears falling. Leon jerked harder into Sans head, fingers tight around his skull. _

A dark look fell over Grillby and he turned away. Papyrus clenched his fist. Another memory surfaced.

_ “Your family doesn't want you anymore Sans. They've seen you for what you can truly do.” Leon murmured, stroking Sans who was buckled to a dental chair. _

_ A pile of dust and ashes in a glass room opposite, a magic filled cylinder attached to some odd contraption. A flame thrower.  _

_ “I… I didn't…” _

_ “You did Sans. Didn't you just see that? You truly are a monster.” Leon tilted Sans head up. He leaned down, kissing him. He unstrapped a crying Sans, pulling off his pants.  _

_ “I am the only one who cares Sans. Look at them. They aren't here for you. But I am.” _

_ “I don't w-want t-this… f-fu-” _

_ Leon slapped him before in unbuckling his own pants. Without any warning, he began to slide into Sans, slamming in hard. He drew out slowly before returning with the same harshness. Magic began to glow around Sans pelvis and in his mouth, forming the parts needed.  _

_ Leon paused, halfway inside. “It's so tight. Like you were made for me.” Leon laughed out loud before he returned to thrusting, going faster. _

_ “Mmmm. Look at that. You're enjoying this. Aren't you?” _

_ “Haaaah… Guhhn.. nhh” Sans moaned in reply, shame flashing across his face. _

_ The thrusting stopped. “I asked a question.” _

_ “Ahh… y-yes…” _

_ “More vocal. Come on Sans. I want you to call my name. Scream it like you want me.” _

_ Leon jerked harder and Sans moaned. _

_ “Sans?” _

_ “... … L-Leon…ahh… t-too… gnh… fast...” _

_ Leon smiled but he didn't slow. They came again and again. Each time harder, faster.  _

Papyrus tried to block out the sounds but they were too loud. In this space that was so large everything echoed back louder than before.

_ “D-don’t… don't p-please I-” _

_ Leon gripped Sans soul, biting into it. Sans arched his back, his soul sparking a cyan blue. Each lick and bite a touch brought out some sort of reaction, leaving a trace of magic across the soul, making it drip. _

Papyrus cursed. Touching someone else's soul was an act of bonding. Of completely trust. It was an intimate act and one you did only with those you loved. This was a complete violation of every monster's being.

_ Sans panted, his face flushed and tired. Leon still hadn't stopped, enjoying Sans arousal.  _

_ “This is most interesting. It's like your soul gives you the most sexual pleasure possible.” _

_ He closed his mouth over it, licking it. Sans bit back a moan. Leon did it again and this time Sans cried out. _

_ “Ah! L-Leon…”  _

_ Leon grinned, his eyes hungry. He reached down and rubbed around Sans pelvis, forming the vulva again. _

“Fuck! Make this fucking thing stop!”

_ He let his length rest against Sans clit, dipping his fingers in. He dug in hard and viciously, pulling and tugging. _

_ Sans whined, tilting his hips. Leon played around, slipping in and out of the folds. Moments passed before Sans groaned, fingers tightening as he came.Leon pulled out his fingers before finally touching the tip of his length over the opening. Sans throbbed in anticipation, already a mess.  _

_ “You really love this don't you.” Leon smirked. He turned Sans around onto his front. He thrust in deep, at the same time, pushing his stained fingers into Sans mouth. Both his hips and fingers bobbed up and down. Sans moaned Leon's name against his hand's movements. _

Papyrus doubled over, throwing up. Grillby patted the skeleton on the back, closing his eyes.

_ You again? _

The two turned towards the voice. The Void appeared, his head still disfigured, glitches slightly covering the marred side of his face. He looked fainter than ever, almost transparent.

_ What are you here for again? Trying to defeat me? Bad news for you little brother. If I die, there’s no getting back Sans. _

“There’s a way to get him back?” Grillby could barely keep back the hope in his voice.

The Void looked away.

_ Sigh… I need your help. _

“Oh so before, you were all set on torturing Sans and killing me. And now, you want our help?”

_ Enough.  This is serious. I am beginning to fade away without Sans’ presence. What he did back there… was… unexpected. Uncalled for. However, if I fade away completely into the void, Sans will truly die. There is a connection between us. How about we call a truce. _

Grillby glanced up at Papyrus.

“But… there are still memories around.”

_ Sans screamed, clawing and scraping at the table. The acid burned at his feet, cracking and peeling. _

Papyrus flinched

_ Memories yes. But not him.  _

There was a grinding of teeth, more exchanged looks before Papyrus finally relented.

“Fine. We’ll work together… Is there a better way to refer to you?”

_ Gaster. The proper way to address me would be W.D Gaster _

“Riiighht. Gaster. How are we supposed to help you?”

_ I may be a being in Sans’ head, created by him but I do not always have access to every part of his head. _

“And you expect us to…”

_ Persuade him to come out. _

“Where is he?”

_ Find him _

And with that, Gaster turned around, the darkness swallowing him up. Grillby groaned, running a hand over his face. 

\---

“Nothing makes sense. If he's still around somewhere, why is Gaster fading away?” Papyrus wondered out loud. They'd called and searched everywhere in this endless darkness, memories following them with every step.

_ “I won't do it. You don't own me.” Sans gritted out, squirming against the straps crossing his body. _

_ “Do you really want your brother to see that video?” Leon clicked a button and a screen flickered. _

_ Someone was jerking off into Sans' eye, Sans moaning, his mouth and ribs coated with white. _

_ The video blinked out. Leon looked at Sans. “Well? Will you cooperate?” _

_ “I… I won't… I…” Sans faltered. _

_ “I’m giving you a choice. You could participate willingly, or your brother could end up knowing some very interesting things about you.” _

_ Sans squeezed his eyes shut. _

_ “...okay...O-okay… I- I’ll do it. Just don't show it to anyone.” _

“I don't know either Papyrus. It's Sans mind. Maybe things work in some odd contradictory way here.”

Papyrus looked back, casting an orange shine behind him. His eyes were still glowing. Just like before.

“Hold up Grillby.” Papyrus held up a hand, going back.

_ “This isn't what I wanted. I'm sorry.” _

It repeated over and over in Sans soft whisper. Unlike the others, the memory didn't change. 

_ Sans finger traced a symbol in the air, repeating the words like a mantra. _

Papyrus reached out, gently poking at the memory. It didn't shatter or crack, instead, a shudder ran through the memory and it stuttered before returning back to normal. Grillby raised an eyebrow, using his own finger to follow Sans, tracing an invisible symbol. The second time it replayed, a fire followed Sans’ finger, making the symbol visible as an hourglass with a ‘G’ and ‘S’ intertwined.

A soft click and the memory bent, circling around them before it faded into a soft blue. Sans sat crouched in a pile of dust, whispering to himself.

“Sans!”

_ “I… I reset.” _

“Sans?”

_ “I reset myself… I'm still alive.”  _ Sans mumbled.

Papyrus froze. He hadn't just heard that had he? Sans seemed to just notice them, his eye lights shrinking.

_ “Who are you? Who are you get out of my head it hurts I’m sorry I'll do better please just stop leave me alone I can't think I'm always alone I'm broken no-” _

“Whoa there. Calm down Sans.”

_ “Do I know you can you see me please just help me get me out I'm sorry I don't deserve to-” _

“Sans listen to me. Look at me.”

_ “Can't can't can't can't no light no light chained. Chains and straps and whipping. Let me out… someone let me out. It's dark. I'm alone.” _

Sans trembled, his eyes glowing a deep purple. Papyrus moved to touch him and instead, a memory blocked his way.

_ Sans moaned as they came for one last time. He shuddered, breathing heavily into the blankets stained white and red. The man chuckled, stroking Sans skull.  _

_ “You did good eh? What a whore you are.” _

_ “It's my turn now. Hand him over.” Another man called from behind a door. The first man pulled on his pants.  _

Papyrus tried to shove it away. 

“Dammit! Stupid fu-”

“Ignore it. J-just ignore it.” Grillby said shakily, purposefully looking far away. 

_ “Did I do something wrong? I must have are you going to punish me? Who are you? Who's there. Is it my fault you're here? It must be… it always is. Leon says it's always my fault I can't do anything right there's something wrong with me always getting people in trouble I must be punished I must burn in hell for what I've done I'm sick and broken I’m-” _

“It's not your fault Sans… listen to me okay? I'm going to get you out.”

_ Sans bucked, gasping. Leon gave a nasty smile, pulling away.  _

_ “That was certainly enjoyable, don't you agree?” _

_ “Haah… ahh.. y-yes…” _

_ “Well. I'm not quite satisfied yet.” Leon grabbed Sans and pushed him to his knees so that he was eyelevel with Leon's crotch.  _

_ “Get started.” Leon shoved Sans head forward. _

_ Sans moaned around Leon's length as the thrusts began, harsh and fast. Before long, Leon came in Sans mouth and Sans swallowed. The fluids dribbled down onto his ribs, and some from his lips _

Grillby almost stopped, bile rising in his throat. He recognized that scene. 

_ “I deserve it don't I. Hate. Nothing but hate. No one remembers me. Just hate. Hate hate hate hate ahaha… AHAHAHHA!!” _

Sans laughed and laughed, his echoey voice ringing in their heads as he started to scream, hiccuping with sobs. 

_ “I'm crazy I'm crazy I can't cope can't make it right can't protect I'm useless useless useless…” _

_ “ _ Sans please!” Papyrus tried to get around the wall of building memories.

_ A snap sounded loudly in the air and Sans arched his back, screaming. He landed on the floor, his cuffed wrists holding his broken ribs, blood oozing between his fingers.  _

_ Leon strolled over to Sans, a bloody staff in his hands. _

_ “I told you to cooperate didn't I! You bit my client and now, we've possibly lost a good job opportunity.”   _

_ Sans crawled away, pushing himself with his feet. Leon slammed the staff to the side of his head, sending him sprawling across the floor. A foot came down on his arms, pinning him down. _

_ “Please no… please I- AUUUUUUUHHGGHGHHHH!!! HAAH!! NMMMAHHH!! GAAAH!!” The staff came down repeatedly over his fingers, cracking them. _

_ Leon threw the staff aside and it landed with a loud clatter. Sans flinched. Leon sat on Sans back, wrenching his head backwards. _

_ “aahkk.. fgnhh… I-I-” _

_ “Shut up.” Leon muttered, pulling down Sans pants. _

Papyrus quickly flicked away the memory and it faded.

_ “Leave me alone please I'm begging you I'm sorry I'm sorry won't do it again just don't touch me don't touch no touching I'll give up can't breathe you're on top of me just leave me alone please please please can't can't can't see it's dark it hurts everywhere hurts… hurts…” _

The memories faded at every touch but more replaced them.

_ “Go on Sans. Give me a good blowjob this time.”  _

_ Sans sobbed, his lips already bruising from the previous man. A hand went behind his head, shoving him forward. Sans choked, gagging before he began to lick, the man thrusting at the same time. _

Papyrus shoved it away. Grillby did the same with shaking hands, his fire pale and oddly colored.  

_ “They won't go away they won't stop they won't leave me alone why can't I be okay why can't it be okay why am I broken… I'm broken…” _

Papyrus finally found a crack in the memories. He pushed past it, his fingers brushing over Sans boney shoulder. Sans shook a bit more.

_ “It's repeating. It won't stop I can't forget can't remember can't can't can't. Just leave me alone get outta my head please I'm sorry I wasn't good I'll do better please just give me a break go slower I can't breathe you're -” _

_ Sans was cuffed to a pole, Leon grinding his naked hips against Sans pelvis. _

Sans broke off, shrieking. The memories shattered and Grillby and Papyrus put their hands over their heads, trying to block out the sound. But the sound came from in their minds, reverberating loud and clear.

_ “GET OUT GET OUT IT WASN'T REAL IT'S FAKE IT'S FAKE GET OUT! LEAVE PLEASE!! SAVE ME! HELP! WHY ISN'T ANYONE COMING CAN SOMEONE HEAR ME JUST GET ME OUT OF THESE CHAINS AWAY FROM THE MATTRESS AWAY AWAY AWAY!!!” _

Sans ripped through his shirt, exposing his mangled ribs. He screeched, clawing and drawing blood from his ribs.

Papyrus staggered towards Sans, head buzzing and blurred. He fell to his knees, arms going around Sans who shuddered, weakly trying to push away.

_ “Don't hurt me please don't hurt me don't hurt me don't hurt me don't hurt don't don't don't don't don't” _

“It's me Papyrus. Im here. I promise I won't hurt you.”

_ Sans laughed, the chains rattling. _

_ “Man Paps, aren't you quite something.” _

_ “Sans… are you sure you're okay?” _

_ “Never better!” Sans forced a smile, glancing at the guard behind him. _

_ “I… I wish I could help you brother…” _

_ “You're already doing that just by being around. Gnuh… uh… well I g-gotta go!” Sans grinned against the shock that ripped through his bones and he forced back a cry of pain. _

_ “Okay Sans. Take care of yours-” _

Grillby closed the distance, also wrapping his warm fiery arms around Sans.

“It's going to be okay. We're here.”

_ “Where am I… will you hurt me who are you is it my fault just don't hurt them don't hurt my friends… don't… hurt my… my friends…” _

Sans eye lights began to glow, staring emptily around him. 

_ “Who are you? Are you going to hurt me? He says they won't but he lies and it hurts it always hurts when they touch me and my soul it burns it chills it breaks I hurt…” _

“We won't hurt you. Papyrus won't hurt you. I-I won't hurt you.” Grillby swallowed back a sob. Papyrus was crying, holding on to Sans tightly, the tears coming too fast for him to speak. He only nodded, pressing his forehead to Sans’.

_ “You won't? I… I wanna go home… I just wanna go home. Will you bring me back? I don't know anymore. Where is home? Where am I? Who are you?” _

Sans voice grew smaller, his eyes scrunching up as he thought. He moaned, his shaking slowing as his eyes closed. 

“ _ It hurts… it hurts so much…”.  _

“I-I know Sans. I know…” Grillby murmured. Papyrus patted Sans cheek, tears still rolling down.

\---

Papyrus held on to Sans tightly as the memories faded, quieting.

Gaster stood several paces from there. He was still faint, in fact, fainter than before.

_ Thank you. For finding him. _

Papyrus didn't say a word, merely gripping Sans tighter to him.

_ It seems his mind is too… corrupted. It cannot hold this much pressure. I am… fading still despite his nearness.  _

Papyrus opened his mouth as if to say something but decided against it, snapping his jaw shut with a clack.

“Will you… die? Will Sans die?” Grillby asked.

_ Perhaps not. Sans will live, although things may be different. He has discovered new things but has lost many other things as well. Memories he regained, memories he had…  _

“But you're fading. That must mean you're dying.”

_ Perhaps I will end up in another timeline. In another void. If I am not forgotten, perhaps I may even become someone real. Someone physical. But I doubt that in this world. Your timeline is twisted. But you can fix it. By starting to fix him. _

Gaster flickered. He smiled sadly.

_ To be honest, I wanted Sans. I wanted his body. I wanted to become something more.  _

He faded out of sight for a second before he regained some color.

_ But I realize, I'm nothing more than a project gone wrong. I am part of Sans. But I am not Sans body. It is not meant to be. I will always lose somehow in a fight for control. No matter how it seems like I'm winning… Timelines are such interesting things. They give you a glimpse of another universe. Of a second chance. _

_ Sans is more important than you know. Especially to the timelines. If… when I fade. Sans will change. Maybe for the better.  _

Gaster flickered again. He was barely there, just a faint shadow. He walked over and bent down, his lips near where Sans’ ears should be.

_ “Don't forget.” _

The black was pulled towards Gaster, covering him like a robe just before he winked out. Sans mind pulsed a soft cyan blue, a white inverted heart floating in the middle, scarred but not broken.

\---

Papyrus blinked his eyes and he collapsed. Grillby fell back, both drained and tired. 

“H-how? What happened?” Alphys stuttered. 

Papyrus raised his head, exhaustion written across his features. 

“He's still there… He's alive.” Papyrus pulled himself up, staring at Sans. 

“Sans? Wake up.” Grillby muttered. He squatted next to the hospital bed, fingers entangled with Sans’. 

Sans chest rose and fell, his expression almost peaceful. No sign of him awaking. Papyrus brushed a hand over Sans forehead.

“Maybe it's too soon. Not yet.” Disappointment laced in his words. 

_ Not yet _

Sans voice echoed. Papyrus blinked. A faint figured appeared at the corner of the room. Gaster. Undyne and Alphys didn't seem to notice him and Grillby's back was facing Gaster.

_ Don't forget. _

Gaster mouthed, taking a step towards the bed. He held out a hand and a faint glow started beneath Sans closed eyes. The lights in the room flickered before exploding, sending the room into a pitch black darkness.


	18. Restart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Ranting  
> -Grillby talks more than he usually does  
> -Sad Papyrus  
> -Scared Sans
> 
> Hope you enjoy this one!

The lights exploded and the room turned dark.

“Someone pull open the curtains!”

The beeping sounds of a heart monitor sped up.

\---

_ Sans curled up. It was so overwhelming! The memories… _

_ He was back in the chair, a blindfold wrapped over his eyes. A moan escaped his lips as his legs were pried apart, someone's tongue dipping into his folds. He shuddered. He wished his  _ ~~_ brother _ ~~ _ were here. He would stop this. This torture. This - _

_ A scream tore through his throat as they poured acid over his bones. Every thought dashed into pieces against the pain. It hurt. It hurt so bad. It hurt it hurt it wouldn't stop the pain would never stop he couldn't think of anything else just the pain and the agony the searing in his bones the terror that filled him every second that made him want to die but they wouldn't let him because he deserved this he deserved it he was nothing lower than dirt beneath his captor’s shoes. _

_ No one would save him. No one remembered. Just like he didn't remember his  _ ~~_ friends _ ~~ _. He had no one and he would be stuck in this hell hole forever. _

_ The pain occupied every cell in his being. The pain and the fear. Every touch and every sound and every movement and everything said would hurt him and it would hurt him bad. Real bad. He wished he wasn't immortal. This agony would last for millions of years and it would only get worse because then really anyone and everyone he  _ _ loved _ _ would have forgotten and moved on. He'd be stuck here surviving still with his magic drained, his body beaten and fucked mindless. Where were his  _ ~~_ friends _ ~~ _? His  _ ~~_ brother _ ~~ _? _

_ It would repeat forever and ever and he'd never ever escape he was so weak and useless and unloved and oh please someone get him out of the chains out of his body just let him die. He wished he could see  _ ~~_ Grillby _ ~~ _ for one last time. Wished he'd told him he'd loved the way his fire burned the air and left a nice warm feeling. Wished he could tell his  _ ~~_ brother _ ~~ _ that he loved him and that he'd be better. He was so broken. There was no more fight in him as every single awful day replayed a million times a second, branding themselves into his brain into his marrow into his soul and the faces he loved blurred and he couldn't identify them because he couldn't remember who they are and what they were because they probably hated him they probably knew the things he'd done and would do and- _

_ Sans… _

_ “Who's there please don't hurt me I'm sorry I'll-” _

_ Sans you need to wake up _

_ “Can't can't they will hurt me I will burn but I won't die they won't stop and I'll keep-” _

_ Sans. Trust me your  _ _ friends _ _ won't hurt you. They'll take care of you. _

_ “Who are you where am I will you get me out please get me out please don't hurt me I promise I'll be good I'll cooperate please please please please please-” _

_ I'm fading Sans. Listen to me. Wake up. and Don't forget… _

_ The blindfold was taken away and the light was blinding and Sans knew this was going to hurt because bright lights meant something bad was going to happen something he could see that he was being forced to see and they'd make him bend over and they'd fuc- _

_ \--- _

Light flooded the room and for a second, Sans eye lights winked open before he closed his eyes shut, gasping, thrashing, jerking.

“Sans! Calm down!”

“ _ Please don't hurt me don't hurt me don't hurt me don't hurt me please I'm sorry I'm sorry I won't do it again… please…” _

Sans squeezed his eyes shut, tearing at the sheets. Papyrus pushed Sans arms down and Sans slowed his ranting, fear glowing in his eyes. His eye lights shrank until they were almost nonexistent.

_ “Who are you who are you who are you don't hurt me please don't I promise to  _ ~~_ Leon _ ~~ _ that I'll do as he says just don't-” _

“You… you don't remember me?” Papyrus looked into Sans eyes, searching for any sign of recognition.Sans stared at him, pulling weakly against Papyrus grip.

_ “No I don't should I I'm sorry I'm sorry don't punish me please please… please…” _

“I'm Papyrus. Your brother…”

_ “ _ ~~_ Papyrus _ ~~ _? Who what where am I am I out is it over is he gone is  _ ~~_ Leon _ ~~ _ gone are they gone will it stop I just want the pain to stop…” _

_ “ _ H-he’s forgotten e-everything…” Alphys said, worry on her features..

“But… we just got him back. He just got back… he was… he was getting better…” Papyrus stuttered. Tears pooled in his eye sockets and he pulled Sans to him, holding his head to his chest. His fingers traced the area near the device attached to Sans head. Sans flinched but he didn't dare move away, tremors shaking his seemingly now small and timid frame.

“ _ I did something wrong again didn't I I'm sorry I'll do better I'll fix myself I'm sorry I'm sorry…” _

_ \--- _

Grillby watched Sans mutter to himself, not touching the plate of food in front of him. His magic was unstable, sparking up now and then. Sans was back to square one. It was like the time they'd rescued him except this time, he was worse. What must have felt like minutes or hours in Sans brains must have felt like decades to Sans, the memories repeating themselves. The trauma must have been too great, causing a mental breakdown in every worse way possible.

Sans spoke telepathically, it didn't seem like he had any control over it in fact. He projected memories that crossed his mind, what he was thinking faintly at anyone who entered his radius. What he was saying, whispered or kept in his mind was loud and clear

_ “Something wrong something wrong gotta get out cant move it hurts hurts so bad I just want to go home where do I go they'll hurt me I can't let them I can't stop them they're too much too much they're hurting me they're going to hurt me can't stop them.” _

His eyes travelled around the room before they settled on Grillby. His thoughts went into a craze, a million thoughts racing and shoving their way into Grillby's mind, making his head begin to ache.

_ “Go away will he go away what's he going to do to me I don't want it to happen again too many times too many so long it goes on for so long it's forever” _

_ “They won't stop they demand I please them he will do the same and then I will not be enough and they will want my soul and my everything and I cannot give.” _

_ “They will beat me and hurt me and I cannot stop them and if I try it'll only get worse it's better if I am silent.” _

_ “Whore. Whore slut slag lowest of the low I deserve this and they'll burn me for who I am because I am a monster and I don't deserve life.” _

_ “Acid burning whipping draining beatings and they'll do it again and they'll harm me and harm my  _ _ friends _ _ and I can't stop them I'm useless I have no power I cannot I cannot I'm worthless incompetent weak and hopeless…” _

_ “Someone help me please  _ ~~_ Gaster _ ~~ _ promised that it'd be okay that it'd be better here but they lie they always lie they lie that I love it that they love me they lie that it will not hurt but it burns oh how it burns and they will keep lying because I am not worth the truth.” _

_ “I wake up and the lights are burning they're always burning and sinners burn in hell this must be what it's like I must have done something wrong and I have died and I have ended up here because I failed to protect my  _ _ brother _ _ and my  _ _ friends _ _ and I have earned this punishment.” _

_ “It's so bright nothing good happens in any light they will show me how I have failed and what I have destroyed and then I will be destroyed it is recompense the angels will not satisfy until I bleed and I am nothing but dust but they won't let me die they make me repeat again and again like back in the  _ _ Underground _ _ why else is this happening I must have done something so awfully wrong… _

“Sans?” Grillby took a step into the room and Sans shook, edging backwards. “It's me, Grillby.”

_ “ _ ~~_ Grillby _ ~~ _.” _

The name sounded glitchy, blurred.

_ Sans rocked back and forth and  _ _ Grillby _ _ patted his back. _

_ “Are you alright Sans? You can't keep doing this.” _

_ Sans looked. ~~His face~~ was blurred and Sans couldn't make out ~~his features~~. _

_ *Sans tried to focus on the memory, trying to clear the glitches over the ~~man's face~~ * _

~~_ Grillby _ ~~ _ squeezed his shoulder. _

Grillby blinked. The memory was distorted, glitching and hiccuping. It blurred out his features, making him unrecognizable, unseeable.  

“I'm not going to hurt you okay? You know me. You just… don't remember.”

_ “You lie. They lie. They always do they lie all the time they say they love me but they hurt me and I do not think love means to hurt even though I do not know love and you say the same that it will not hurt but it hurts like-” _

_ A memory took place. Whips cracking across already broken bones, blades cutting through marrow, slicing off toes, flames burning, magic drained away, choking- _

Grillby stepped out of Sans range, slightly out of the room. The pain was a mere echo but his body ached in different ways. Like his chest was healing from a whipping several days ago and his toes throbbing. Pain he knew existed only in his mind but it had felt so real, even though it had been lessened by a million degrees. He waited for the ache to pass before he stepped back into the room.

Sans was staring at him again, quaking on the bed.

“Okay. I'll just stay here and talk to you is that good?”

_ “He can hurt me from there.” _

_ “He could be lying.” _

_ “Don't lower your guard.” _

_ “He said he knows me.” _

_ “Go… g-go away?” _

_ “Maybe he could stay…” _

_ “He won't be the first or the last person to hurt me.” _

_ “It might be bad” _

Grillby forced himself to ignore Sans thoughts, building up a mental wall around himself, making it high enough that the ones Sans wasn't purposefully projecting couldn't cross.

_ “Okay just don't come any closer p-please don't hurt me I know I'm not worth it but just don't hurt me I'm sorry just dont…” _

A blue line appeared just near the doorway, barely inside the room.

Grillby sighed with relief. This was a small start.

“That's good. How are you today?” Grillby asked, sitting down cross-legged on the floor just behind the line.

Sans seemed thrown by the question.

_ “Y-you’re asking me how I am is this a trick what do I say no one's asked me that before wait.” _

Sans ground his teeth as he thought, left hand poking at the edges of the hole in his right hand.

“This isn't a trick Sans. I genuinely want to know how you are.” Grillby smiled patiently.

_ “I'm scared and confused where am I.” _

“You're… you're in a hospital Sans.”

Sans gripped the hole in his hand and it cracked slightly. Grillby mentally scolded himself. Of course Sans wouldn't be comfortable in a hospital.

“You're home. Or… near home.”

_ “Home?” _

“Yeah home. You're out of that awful place.”

Sans looked down at his legs running his hands over his mutilated feet.

_ “Is home better than in that Place will I hurt will  _ _ they _ _ be there what will happen to me will I be beaten will I have food that doesn't make me feel sick?” _

“It's better than that.. Place… and no you won't be hurt. You can eat the food, it won't make you vomit or anything like that. Go ahead.”

Sans eyed the plate in front warily.

_ “I'm not hungry will I be punished for not eating ~~Leon~~ punished me he'd burn them then he'd burn me and-” _

“No you won't be punished Sans. You don't have to eat it okay? Not if you don't want to.”

Grillby spent the rest of the day just slowly conversing with Sans who mostly ran off in his thoughts, scared and nervous. Sometimes when the wind blew hard and knocked branches into the window, they spooked Sans, sending him into a terrified frenzy of run ons and memories. Besides that, Grillby simply spoke of himself, introducing himself and what he did. Whenever he asked Sans a question, the skeleton froze and he'd think hard and long before he gave a long, half answer.

It was getting dark and Sans grew quieter as the sun set. He stared out the window, fascinated by the colors in the sky. His thoughts turned quiet aside from the occasional

_ “It's pretty” _

Or

_ “What is that?” _

Which Grillby had probably answered several times already but Sans asked anyway.

Soon night fell but no one called Grillby away. Sans was still sitting, wide awake, the moonlight illuminating his trembling figure. Grillby yawned but he forced himself to watch Sans stare out the window. If anything happened or Sans got freaked out while he was asleep, he wouldn't forgive himself. He had work tomorrow but he wanted to make sure Sans was fine.

“Grillby. You should go home.” Papyrus whispered from behind him.

“I can stay. Sit beside me?”

Papyrus folded his long limbs and sat down behind the blue line.

“How is he?”

“He really doesn't remember anything… it's so much worse than before Papyrus. He used to remember me. We could… we could touch and he didn't mind so much. Now, I can barely even get past this line without him freaking out. He ‘speaks’ and he doesn't stop like he needs to say everything before someone can stop him.”

_ “The moon is so perfect…” _

“Telepathic too…” Papyrus noted.

“Yeah… he's quiet for now. But earlier, every thought and memory would enter your brain. And it's not good. He's not doing it intentionally… it's just…” Grillby sighed, leaning his head against the door frame.

“I get you.”

“Is there some way to fix him?”

“Alphys says he needs a shit ton of therapy. He needs to cope with having control in his life now. All over again. I… I don't know how I'm going to handle this. Going through it all over again is just hell for me. I can't imagine what Sans is going through right now. He doesn't even know he's gone through it before… This is all my fucking fault… if I hadn't fought Gaster…”

Grillby shook his head.

“Don't say that. It wasn't your fault. Imagine if Gaster were still around. Sans would be tortured, and he'd draw away. It could have gotten worse, him thinking that we hated him…”

“Doesn't he think that already?” Papyrus said bitterly, sadness tinging his tone.

“He's just confused and scared. We can get a new start. We have lifetimes to help him. We'll get through this."


	19. Step One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't want to be the other half of your soul. I want to be the one who reminds you that you are already whole.'  
> -G.S

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kiss the Rain was playing in the background while I wrote this. I was like, listening to the music, half writing. Sorry if it sounds a little off? The music was so good I didn't want to stop it D:
> 
> Warning:  
> -Implied Rape  
> -I talk too much about other stuff  
> -Janina!!  
> -More exploration on Half-Breeds and the life they went through  
> -Grilltar(??)lol  
> -Comfy Papy

_ Sans gripped the bedsheets. He was so tired and scared and who were those people at the door would they hurt him they were watching him  they had been watching since it was dark and now it is light was he to do something? _

_ He looked at… at Gri.. the name slipped his mind and he grew frustrated at that. That name had felt important. It had ignited a memory that wasn't so bad but didn't feel that good either. But it was better than being beaten and then fucked and being made to moan and scream and pleasure them and- _

_ He silenced his thoughts but memories squirmed their way through. _

_ He was on the floor, the whip cracking down on him again and again. He had failed to count to forty multiple times and they'd given up on him. The lashes were unforgiving, they never stopped. He convulsed when they reached almost a hundred lashings, the pain too horrible for him to handle silently. Finally, after forever, they stopped.  _

_ Someone sloshed through the growing puddle of blood. Even with the sounds muffled, Sans knew who it was. He shook, turning his head.  He was picked up by rough hands before he was dragged to the bathroom, a thick trail of blood trailing after him. They dumped him into a bathtub and turned on the water. It splashed, hot and painful along his fresh wounds.  _

_ He screamed, but  _ _ Leon _ _ would have none of it. He shoved Sans head into the water and wouldn't let up until Sans' thrashing had weakened.  The water was bloody and hot but they let it rise until it reached just below his ribs when he half lay in the tub. They rinsed him down and he bit back the screams that threatened to boil out of his mouth.  _

_ They drained the bloody water away. Sans felt a burning sensation across his feet. He gasped. It bit into his bones. Acid. They poured it all over his legs until they were scorching and red and raw and he was screaming but they held him down. Then they did it over his arms, searing his bones. Finally, they stopped, washing him off in hot water before they bound him to a bed, each limb stretching to a bedpost so his legs and arms were spread. _

_ He jerked weakly against the rope, the collar on his neck suddenly making him feel terrified. They didn't need multiple cuffs. They just needed a collar for him.  _ _ Leon _ _ took a smoke from his cigarette before dragging it down along Sans' burns and cuts.  _

_ He screamed. Oh it burned and boiled his blood and it hurt it hurt.  _

_ “PLEASE STOP AHHHHKKKK JUST STOP I'M SORRY PLEASE S-STOP AAAHHHH!!!” _

_ Sans bucked against the chains, not caring that it bit into his wrists.  _ _ Leon _ _ snuffed the cigarette out on one of his marred toes. He screeched, tears rolling down his face. His eyes glowed bright.  _ _ Leon _ _ unbuckled his pants, climbing onto the bed. He didn't pause or give warning, instead, shoving his too big length into Sans sore and burnt pelvis. Sans half screamed half moaned, begging  _ _ Leon _ _ to stop.  _

_ “AH! _ _ L-LEON _ _ … MFFHHGG.. P-PLEASE AHH!!” _

_ The pain and the pleasure mixed his mind and confused him. Was he supposed to feel pain? Or was he supposed to feel good? He didn't know as the rocking between his spread legs sped up, fucking him into oblivion. _

_ \--- _

Papyrus paced the hallway outside the room. The memory had somehow gone past his defenses. It left a bitter taste in his mouth. Too slow to leave Sans… he took a peek into the room. Sans had quietened somewhat, staring out at the sunrise. Papyrus remembered the days he and Sans would wake up early to watch the sunrise everyday, just to remind them of the Underground and the life they'd left behind and the one they were about to start. He wondered if Sans remembered that. 

Sans turned his head and froze when he saw Papyrus. Both skeletons didn't move. Grillby, who lay asleep by the door side, stirred. Sans jerked and he pulled away to the furthest corner of the bed. 

“ _ Do I know you who are you who are you don't hurt me please I said I'll f-fix myself I-I-I need a rest just give me a rest please I promise I-” _

“It's okay Sans. I'm not going to hurt you. You can rest for as long as you want.” Papyrus was almost proud of himself for not letting his voice crack.

_ “Is this a trick  _ _ Leon _ _ never let me rest if I asked he would beat me and then he'd f-”  _

“No it's not a trick.” Papyrus interrupted. He didn't want to hear that part of the rant.

_ “O-oh…” _

Was all Sans could say. He stared long and carefully before finally turning to the window. His eyes occasionally flicked to look at them.

Grillby got up slowly. “Did you sleep any?”

“No… Sans kept me awake…” 

“Ah…”

“You should be getting to work shouldn't you?”

“I'm a decades old elemental. I can bear to skip work a few days. Besides, my helpouts don't mind and they won't make a mess”

Grillby waved at Sans who tightened his grip on the blanket he held close to his chest. A minute passed before Sans gave a timid wave back, looking surprised at himself.

_ “Where am I who are you people?” _

“I'm Grillby, that's Papyrus.”

“ _ Grillby _ _ …  _ _ Papyrus _ _ … _ ” the words didn't sound right but Papyrus ignored it. It wasn't that important. Not now.

Sans fell quiet, scrunching his face. A soft murmur build up in their heads. 

\---

_ There's something about them that made Sans feel… conflicted. Every time he said their names it would slip his mind the next second. Nothing stayed in his brain for long. Only those memories…  _

_ - _

_ Sans threw up, withering on the floor. Blood stained his fingers, his head and his lower body.  _ _ Leon _ _ got off him, walking over to pick up the rod. Sans convulsed again, bile and magic spilling from his mouth. He raised his head, barely strong enough to keep track of  _ _ Leon’s _ _ movements. His captor bent down and moved the hand holding the stick towards him. Sans flinched, his fingers twitching. The stick tapped on his bruised head. _

_ “Clean it.” _

_ Sans looked confused. _

_ “Clean your mess.”  _ _ Leon _ _ gestured at the puddle of white residue and vomit. Realisation dawned on him.  _

_ “W-what? I-ngh!”  _ _ Leon _ _ shoved his head down, and some of the disgusting 'mixture’ entered his mouth. _

_ - _

_ Sans buried the memory in a flurry of screams and whispers and thoughts. _

_ Things weren't going to get better they were going to get worse and no one could help him no one would help him and he would rot away stuck in his mind for the rest of his life a mindless thing giving everything away even when he had nothing because that was all they demanded from him for him to give them pleasure and sick amusement and his magic and to make him feel pain and agony and hopelessness because he didn't deserve much of anything else did he? _

_ He was a sick whorish monster who didn't couldn't fight back for himself because when was he ever the one in control he was never in control so there was no point no one cared and he couldn't care because if he cared it would hurt even more it would hurt so bad he would ache not just outside but inside too and it was worse when he ached inside he didn't know why it just was. _

_ He wished they'd just end him and be over with the torture so many years in that hellhole and if it were not enough to please them… _

_ \--- _

“Okay Sans. What day is it?”

The therapy had been conducted from across the hospital room. They'd found a half-breed therapist named Janina to help. She'd been briefly told that he'd suffered through torture, rape and magic abuse as well as his memory having been wiped. A long silence stretched as he struggled to remember.

_ “Tuesday I think…”  _ he seemed to want to say more but he schooled his thoughts into control. 

Janina smiled, brushing her dreadlocks out of her eyes. Her dark skin shone like she'd polished it and she wore a plain T-shirt and jeans. She had a natural pretty face untainted by makeup. Tiny dragon earrings rimmed the outer side of her ear. 

“Uh, not quite Sans! It's a Saturday. I see you every Monday, Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday remember?”

_ “Oh…” _

“We’re making good progress Sans. Don't worry.”

Janina took a sip from her coffee, her clipped nails tapping on the rim. She'd spent a single week with him so far and she noted that he had no confidence. A very common trait in people who'd suffered rape. They needed to be constantly assured. They were not used to control in their lives and even asking them if they wanted a cup of water could be startling. He hardly gave honest answers, only ones he thought she wanted to hear unless she told him she wanted one. That there was no right or wrong answer.

“Okay what's my name?”

_ “J… uhm… Jan…”  _ he bit his lip nervously.

“If you answer wrong it's fine.” She soothed, giving him a coaxing grin.

_ “Janine?” _

“Janina. That was great! Okay why don't we recap what you did today!”

The session ran by slow but smooth. He grew tired and restless after a while even though he tried to hide it. But his thoughts betrayed him, more coming in, each one seemingly darker than before. Janina kept most of them away and locked her mind to those that peeked past her defenses.

She loved doing this - helping people, particularly monsters. Her Dad had married a rabbit woman who stood almost as tall as her father. She'd gotten all her looks from her Dad but her personality and skill came from her Mother. 

“Why don't we talk about something else? Leave all that remembering for another time?”

Sans tugged at the blanket he clutched before nodding, his thoughts going quieter.

“Did you know I am a half-breed? A human dad and a monster mom!”

Sans shook his head even though she'd told him that at least twice just moments ago. “My mom was a healer!” Janina said.

Her mother had been an amazing creature, reaching out to humans and monsters alike. It was what saved many lives, but also ended her own.

A riot had broken out several years ago and Janina's mother had been determined to go there and heal the injured. She was saving a man and when he realized she was a monster, he'd stabbed her viciously. Her mother was so weak, she had no energy to heal herself. On her deathbed, she showed no hate towards humans. She only regretted she couldn't help the man see that not all Monsters are monsters. 

Janina sought no vengeance. She followed closely in her mother's footsteps, instead changing minds and hearts and helping those who struggled in life. Her mother had held no bitterness and so neither would she. Her magic came to her as a surprise. A skill that sent blue runes creeping over every inch of dark skin and setting her eyes a deep red. Psychometry. An ability that allowed her to see a small past or future of anything she touched. She could even heal from a distance, her mother's primary skill, but one she herself was never particularly any good at.

“-and my dad is an artist! Unfortunately, I didn't get any of his skills. I'm not too good at drawing.” Janina continued, still telling him about her parents even as the memories of her own childhood filled her with bittersweet emotions.

Time passed rather quickly and finally, she rose from her seat.

“Alright Sans! Today has been really great with you. See you tomorrow!”

She waited for him to give her a small wave before she left, a warm glow in her chest.

\---

_ Sans watched as the lady walked away, her sneakers squeaking against the shiny polished corridor outside. He liked her. She wasn't like the other One. The One he could not remember when he met and had left serious dents in his memory because then he'd reacted by blocking of everything and… Sans tried to think but it hurt so he gave up on it. _

_ Maybe this woman would help him get through it. Help him remember the good things… He highly doubted it but hope… It was such an addictive thing. He knew he should dash it away. It was bad. It could leave him worse than before and it could damage him just like everything else did but he hung on to it like it was the only good light left. _

_ \--- _

Papyrus tapped on the door and Sans looked up, shivering. His arm was bloody and the sheets were torn, stained an ugly red. Marrow dripped from his fingers. 

_ “I...I’m sorry I shouldn’t have I won’t do it again please don’t punish me I-I-I”  _ Sans curled up, backing into a corner of the bed as Papyrus approached. He closed his eyes, clutching his head and whimpering. 

Arms closed around him and he stiffened. Sans looked up and a tear plopped down his cheek rolling down. Surprised, Sans touched a hand to Papyrus’ damp cheekbones.

“ _ I… I’m sorry… Did I m-make you cry?” _

Was all Sans could say as he brushed another tear away.

“Don’t hurt yourself again please Sans.” Papyrus pulled away, holding Sans’ shoulders. Silence.

_ “I don’t deserve to live.” _ Sans whispered in Papyrus’ head.  _ “I did so many things I deserve to burn and die and I just want the pain to end but they won’t let me because my torture is not enough and they want more they always want more something from me and I give because I should because I killed and they told me I liked it when they-” _

“Sans don’t say that.” Sans buried his head in his hands, more tense than ever.

_ “I can’t get rid of them of the feeling and their inside my head they're everywhere and I just want them gone… I just want them to disappear and leave me alone so I can remember and be whoever I was I’m scared I want to go home but I don’t even know where it is I don’t even know who you are go away… just go away…” _

Papyrus rested his head on Sans’. He didn’t want to admit it but he didn’t know how to help. Once, his brother protected him, by hiding, by fighting back monsters who degraded him, by convincing Papyrus that he was amazing and great until Papyrus did become that. And now when Sans needed him most, Papyrus didn’t know how to ease his brother’s worries. How could one do that when one’s own brother saw him as a threat, someone who would use him and fling him away like a toy…

\---

_ Sans still hugged himself long after the taller skeleton had left. _ ~~_ Brother _ ~~ _... He was so sorry. He was so so sorry. He wanted desperately to remember but he couldn't. No matter how much he tried he lost. There didn't seem a way. There wasn't a way. He stared out the window as the sun disappeared from the horizon, turning the sky into shades of purple blue and orange.  _

_ "I want to help... I want to help you fix me... But I can't. I'm stuck inside my head and I can't seem to find control because my memories are so overwhelming and none of them are good like you are. I want to remember so badly." _

_ Why wasn't there anyone to love him? Did no one care about him there was always some sort of pit for him to drop into and he couldn't ever seem to get it out and he always felt like he was drowning and ~~Leon~~ and ~~Chrissy~~ and every person who ever laid hands on him was dragging him down and he couldn't claw his way up he couldn't breathe and- _

_ \--- _

Grillby hummed, strumming the guitar in his hands. Sans turned, staring at him. The music filled the room and a tear fell from Grillby's eyes, blurring his vision. Sans lowered his gaze, his hand tightening around his shirt.

\---

_ Sans felt the memory tingling the back of his mind. A blurred man singing him to sleep, holding him tight in his arms. The man's smile as he hugged Sans, giving him a soft kiss on his forehead. _

_ "I'll wait for you to be ready Sans. 'I don't want to be the other half of your soul. I want to be the one who reminds you that you are already whole.'  " _


	20. Haunted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Implied rape  
> -Guitar Grillby  
> -More of Janina  
> -Some Frissskkkk  
> -Sad Papyrus  
> -Scared Sans

_Sans watched ~~Grillby~~ until the fiery fingers grew tired and he fell asleep, flames lighting the room. Sans traced the holes in his palm. _

_-_

_Sans moaned, the pain burning through his bones. They filled him again and again, never stopping. When one was done, another would come and Sans was left in the everlasting torture, surrounded by beings hungry for his cries of agony at their pleasure._

_\---_

_Sans jerked awake, finding himself tangled in the sheets, pain shooting up and down his hips at the way he'd wrenched it in his sleep. He was exhausted still but he was afraid of closing his eyes._

_He noticed a glow in the room and he searched for the source before his eyes landed on the elemental by the door side, a guitar in his arms, fast asleep._

_-_

_~~The man~~ covered Sans with a blanket before laying down beside him. He moved and Sans flinched. _

_“Hey. It's okay. I'll stay right here. I won't move anywhere. I won't hurt you. Okay? Why don't I tell you about what's been going on outside?”_

_\---_

_Sans cleared his head. Glitchy memories were not his favourite. He ached for some warmth in the room that had suddenly grown cold despite the fire elemental being in the room._

_-_

_The kiss grew heated as Sans tugged ~~the man~~ closer, a smile on his lips. ~~The figure~~ finally pulled away, ~~his flames~~ dancing in the dark room. _

_“Oh come now Sans. Give me a break. I just got home.”_

_“S-sorry. I just want you so bad…” Sans flushed._

_“We'll continue this later? Give me a sec while I change.”_

_Sans watched as_ ~~_Grillby_ ~~ _pulled off his shirt, exposing a muscled back. He couldn't stop himself, his fingers reaching out to trace each curve._ ~~_Grillby_ ~~ _laughed, pulling away._

 _“That tickled. Very naughty of you Sans.”_ ~~_Grillby_ ~~ _forgot about changing as he leaned back down and scooped Sans up into his arms._

 _Sans yelped, his arms going around the_ _elemental's_ _bare shoulders._ ~~_Grillby_ ~~ _dropped him gently onto the bed, nuzzling Sans. Sans stiffened and_ ~~_Grillby_ ~~ _paused._

_“I won't do anything unless you tell me to.” He assured Sans. “Okay? So… still want that kiss?”_

_Sans' fearful movement momentarily forgotten, the two enjoyed each other with only their lips, never going past the safety of fabric. For a while, Sans felt_ ~~_loved_ _._ ~~

_\---_

_Sans brushed a tear away. Even though the memory had made him muddled and confused, it had left him with sensations that didn't feel wrong or sick or even painful. It had almost been_ ~~_pleasant_ ~~ _._

_Sans felt a surge of bravery in him. He crawled out of bed, sliding to the floor before he dragged himself to the elemental's side. Fear brushed the corners of his mind but he pushed it aside. He huddled close to the warmth, not touching but close enough that if he reached out a pinky, it would nudge the sleeping figure._

_It hurt his legs to sit on the tiled floor but he didn't care at the moment. He used his hands as pillows, tucking them under his head as he curled up to sleep._

_This time, the memories and worries left him alone._

_\---_

Grillby shifted,rolling his shoulder. His elbow bumped into something and he turned around. Sans lay on the floor, a peaceful look on his sleeping face. Grillby stilled, swallowing. He ached to hold Sans in his arms again. He tore himself away, standing up slowly and set the guitar to one side. He grabbed a blanket and pillow from the bed and gently eased the pillow under Sans head before covering him with the blanket. He briefly wondered if he should do something about Sans’ legs which were definitely hurting in the way the side of his hips were tilted away from the floor and his legs shifted. Grillby decided against it. He might hurt Sans on accident.

He half closed the door behind him and left. As Grillby drove home, one hand brushed against his guitar case. In the Underground, instruments were rare to find. Few had proper instruments that had good quality. Grillby expected nothing less than the best in what he owned and so he had never bothered getting a guitar. Once, he'd been out drinking with Sans and he'd expressed his quiet love for the guitar. His own father had taught him how to play - it was one of the good things he remembered about his father… after Frisk freed the Underground, the skeleton brothers took to work and study. Sans saved up all his own extra money to get a guitar for Grillby - who at the time was working a low paying job as a waiter. Monsters hardly ever got good pay if they could even get a job.

A moment of joy when the guitar turned up outside his home in a mailing box addressed to him. He'd been confused at first until he found a note stuck to the darkest corner of the box with the words _'(No)strings attached!’_ and then a sloppy smiley face in Sans blocky handwriting. He'd laughed at the pun. Thankfully, strings were attached to the guitar.

After Sans was captured, he couldn't bring himself to touch the soft dark wood, could bear to stroke the strings and tease music from the instrument. Doing so struck a chord of anger and sadness and hopelessness in him that sometimes, he had wanted to burn it to ashes. And then he'd realize it was one of the few things he owned that really reminded him of Sans and he'd gently tuck the guitar back into its case, silently wishing he had the courage to play it but knowing if he did, he wouldn't be able to go through each day.

\---

_Sans woke and instantly and felt colder than before. He pushed himself up, hissing at the pain that rippled in his legs. The fire man had gone… He looked down and almost cried. A pillow had found its way under his head and a blanket around his shoulders. Had the elemental done that? A warm glow filled Sans filling the emptiness the elemental had left and he hugged the blanket to his chest, breathing in deep. The warm cozy smell of homely fire filled his nose, easing his thoughts into a slow hum._

_He crawled back to the bed before pulling himself up. It took a few tries but he made it. Sans snuggled into the comfort of the bed and sighed. The night's rest had done a whole lot of good for him that was for sure. He wasn't completely certain if the elemental had had a hand in relieving his troubled emotions._

\---

Frisk knocked on the door before entering.

“Hi Sans. It's me Frisk!” She waved a small bag of cookies in the air. Sans twisted to look at her, eyeing the bag in her hands suspiciously.  “Cookies.” She explained. “Want some?”

\---

_She held out the bag, smiling gently. He was hungry. Desperately hungry. He hadn't eaten in days. Hadn't dared to._

_-_

_~~Leon~~ shoved the food down his throat. His body reacted instinctively, absorbing the poisoned slop into his bones. Soon, he was shaking, breaking out in cold sweat. _

_“Right five minutes. The previous monster we had lasted seconds. This is a definite improvement.”_

_Sans tried to force himself to throw up but the food flowed through his bones, denying his internal command. He shuddered as his soul tightened, groaning. 30 minutes later, he threw up. And kept throwing up. Hours later, he was still heaving although he was drained dry of anything in his bones._

_\---_

_The girl noticed his hesitation and opened the bag, taking a cookie for herself. She broke it in half before biting into it, chewing and swallowing._

_“See! It's fine.”_

_Sans felt himself relax slightly. If she ate it, it should mean it isn't poisoned but what if it was only that one that she picked and the others weren't and then he would eat and later throw it all up -_

_Sans bit on his lips, pain dashing the thoughts away. If he did get poisoned, he probably deserved it… if he didn't, it would be a most pleasant surprise… Maybe he'd take one…_

_\---_

Blue magic surrounded the bag and Frisk let it go, watching as it floated towards Sans. He picked one and bit into it hungrily. He smiled, his tired eyes flicking between her and the snack in his hands. He finished it off and paused. Conflicted shone in his eyes. He finally made his decision, grabbing another. He quickly devoured the rest, and once he was done, he pursed his lips as if though he wished there were more.

“Like it?” Frisk asked, giggling.

He looked up at her, surprised. He still looked hungry but his bones weren't a strange weak color anymore.

 _“I-I'm sorry I should've left some for you I was j-just so hungry a-and… I'm sorry…”_ fear flashed in his eyes and he trembled. Frisk drew her brows together. That was not the reaction she'd expected.

“No it's okay. I have more at home for myself.” She assured him.

\---

_~~Leon~~ kicked him and Sans tumbled, crashing into the wall. _

_“I didn't say you could take it all.”_

_Sans groaned, struggling to his feet._

_“Y-you-”_

_“I nothing. I changed my mind about letting you eat all that food. I want you to make me something.” ~~Leon~~ loomed over him. _

_“W-what?”_

_-_

_Sans hands shook as he finally finished plating the dish. ~~Leon~~ watched him before moving to take a bite. A smile crossed his face and Sans sighed. His relief was short lived however when ~~Leon~~ grabbed his hands, pinning them to the stove. He turned on the gas. _

_Sans jerked, screaming._

_“P-PLEASE I-”_

_“I didn't like it.”_

_“AAAUUHHHHH!! J-JUST GGHHAAAAANNNHH!!” Finally, Sans was released and he fell to the floor, nursing his burnt palms. He sobbed, his bones throbbing._

_\---_

Sans edged away, purple glowing faintly in his eyes. Frisk chewed on the inside of her cheek before she finally stepped out of the room, walking out. She passed by a dark skinned girl that looked her age with waist long dreadlocks and soft hazel eyes. Oddly, she had tufts of white fur peeking from her collar and up her neck.

The lady smiled and walked out of sight down the corridor she'd just left.

\---

Janina entered the room.

“Helllooooooo Sans!” She sang. The skeleton looked up from a bag he twisted in his hands.

_“Hello you are wait I know who you are I've seen you before I don't know where I can't… Jan…”_

San tore the top of the bag in his nervousness.

“Janina. That's alright. You were really close this time! What's got you worked up?”

_“I think I made someone mad and they're going to hurt me because I did it wrong but I forgot because I was hungry and I just wanted to even if it might be but I couldn't I…”_

“I'm sure they won't hurt you even if you made them made.”

Janina pulled her dreadlocks up and twisted them expertly into an odd bun that hung low resting on the base of her neck.  

“Did you do anything interesting today?”

_“Yes?”_

“Annnd…?”

 _“I-I uhm I ate.”_ Sans brightened slightly.

“That's amazing Sans! What did you eat? Was it nice?”

_“Y-yeah it was good. I mean uhm I ate cookies and they were nice but I think I didn't do it right…”_

“Haha. I don't think there's a wrong way of eating a cookie unless you used a fork or spoon. Thats no way to enjoy cookies I tell you!” She joked.

“ _I didn't leave any for her and I'll be burned I'll be forced to-”_

He stopped, his eyes glazing over. Something drove itself hard into her mental wall and she almost buckled.

\---

_Sans staggered before he fell to his knees and palms, trembling. The chains rattled as magic spewed from his mouth, mixing with the blood on the ground. He gulped back a scream, panting. His face was flushes with heat from his fever.  He was pulled to his feet, and the chains were attached to a pole. A clang sounded. He raised his head._

_A greater dog was on all fours, several patches of fur missing and foam bubbling from its snapping jaws, eyes blazing and crazed._

_Sans knew instantly that the greater dog had been given some sort of crazy rabies shot. He jerked forward but the chain stopped him short. The rattling sound made the dog's head snap towards him. The greater dog pounced, and Sans stumbled, falling._

_He scrambled away on his back, the dog snapping at him. It's jaws closed around his bandaged foot - the foot that had recently had its toes amputated and melted. Sans howled, yanking._

_\---_

Janina screamed, the blueish greater dog leaping at her. She closed her eyes raising her arm defensively. The greater dog snarled, biting down. She felt nothing. Prying her eyes open, she saw a faintly blue coloured Sans attempting to yank his foot out of the dog's jaws. He screamed, tears running down his face.

Instantly, Janina realised what was going on. An illusion. Sans, in his fear had projected a memory into reality. They could not touch her and she couldn't touch them. She shakily rose to her feet, ignoring the bluish tinge everything had. She moved towards the real Sans who sat on the bed, cowering.

“Sans. It's not real. It's already over.”

A nurse ran into the room and nearly shrieked, backpedalling. She quickly masked her fear and she moved towards the illusion. When her hands passed through it, she stopped and looked at Janina.

“I'll get a shot of-”

“No! It's okay. I'll calm him down. I doubt he'll fare well if he gets shot full of drugs.”

The nurse wavered, skeptical. “I-if you're sure.”

Janine nodded before turning back to watch Sans.

“Alright Sans. Look at me okay? Is that good? Right that's right. Doing great honey. Ignore that. Ignore whatever's going on inside your head. Focus on me. I'm real. I'm here right now. Whatever happened, that's over okay? Uh huh good. Calm down. Don't worry I won't touch you look - right here! I'm gonna stay here and I won't move an inch closer. That's good okay now breathe yeah yeah? That's great Sans now breathe with me okay? Uh oh no no sweetpea, ignore whatever's in the background! Yep good. It's just me and you! It'll stop soon I promise. Just listen to my voice and look at me.”

Janina smiled, runes climbing up her ankles and arms, a warm green glow spreading in her fingers, reaching around Sans.

“Okay cool. Right we got breathing settled! Now like I said we're going to ignore whatever is in your head alright?  Look, I'm not scared! I'm with ya here. Allllllll is good sweetpea. Mhmmm. It's gone! It's fading. Whatever happened in the past stays in the past. We're in the now. The present. Sound good to you - yeah?”

Janina rattled on and on, smiling like nothing was going on. The green glow covered Sans and he calmed slightly, the wild look in his eyes glinting.

“I'll tell ya a great story sweetpea! Y'know how these kiddie parks have these swings? Papa would bring me there an’ he'd set me down on that pink swing and push me till I was flying, my short dreadlocks everywhere! He'd played with me till it were pretty late I tell ya! Fireflies would come out and light up the night sky like little candles.”

Janina spoke until Sans had quietened his frantic breathing, his eyes half closed and it was time for her to leave.Slightly tired but satisfied at her work, Janina let the runes fade from her skin.

“Well, the day is over! I have to leave now okay?” Sans gave a barely noticeable nod and she left.

\---

_Sans shivered. When would he be free of his memories that harmed and haunted him every second he wished he could rewind be he couldn't no matter how hard he tried and it was too late it was too late when they'd come and taken him and he should have told ~~Grillby~~ to run should have told him to run and back away and not to sacrifice himself but it was too late and he'd failed... The memories had become so real. Too real that his heart raced and he thought he was dead and dying and he was gone and then he would have to kill again and again just like he always did he always had to because it was kill or be killed and he didn’t want that he never wanted that but he hadn’t wanted to die he didn’t want to die he wanted to live because living meant love and life and joy and sometimes a bit of sadness(?) but he couldn’t live if they were hounding him clawing at him haunting him and they would never ever ever EVER leave him alone in peace and in the end the will to exist would be no more and he would dust and fade away and the world would move on and he would be forgotten like he had been when he was caught until he was broken and a murder and a slut and a mess up and disgusting and hopeless was he remembered and found and he would have been left that way it should have been left that way… _

_It should have been left that way._

\---

Papyrus stood outside the room, his eyes boring holes into the ceiling. He had forgotten to pull up his defenses when he walked towards Sans room. When he heard the start, he paused and couldn’t help standing, listening as the thoughts invaded his head.

_Forgotten like he had been when he was caught_

_It should have been left that way_

The words echoed loudly in his brain even after he finally found the will to build his defenses, slowly blocking the rest of it out. Tears poured down his eye sockets. Oh how he had failed in being a brother. There should’ve been a better way. A faster way to have gotten him out there. He should’ve-

Grillby gripped his shoulder, ripping him away from his thoughts.

“What is it Papyrus? Did something happen?”

Papyrus shook his head, pushing past Grillby and running back down the corridor, out of the hospital, out into the street, across the roads and kept running until he was home and he’d buried himself in Sans’ room, crying and smoothing his fingers over pictures of them in the Underground.


	21. Seeing the People

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Some good stuff in this one  
> I'm sick so a short chapter for you.

_ Sans looked out the window, peeking down at the people walking below. He was in his bedroom. Or at least what it was supposed to be. Weeks had passed and he was getting better at remembering things. Names. Occasions. He tapped the window pane. Sans had been told he had this thing called Telepathy. He talked in people’s head and he needed to control that. So for several days, he had trained, keeping his thoughts to himself, closing everyone out. He was mostly successful aside from the occasional freak out or crack in his container. But now, other people’s thoughts invaded his mind. Whispers. _

_ ‘Today I’m going to get some coffee. I wonder if Melinda got me a good one today’ _

_ ‘Augh the weather these days is just awful! I wish I were home.’ _

_ ‘Will my wife find out if I drop by the chocolate store and grab a bar?’ _

_ It was nerve wracking and Sans wished he could block those out too. He didn’t know how. He preferred it when it was raining.That way the whispers were drowned in the thunder, the pattering of rain on window panes and walls and pavement. _

_ He turned when he heard someone’s footsteps squeaking down the hallway. Grillby entered the room, a half smile on his face. Sans liked Grillby. His thoughts weren’t so loud. And it was a little more than that. Deeper emotions were aroused whenever he saw him, Grillby’s smile making him want to grin back, his soul thudding in his ribs, sending a flush across his cheeks. His memories had cleared a little, giving him a glimpse of the person who’d helped him through most of his darker days. He was quite certain it was the fiery man standing before him.  _

_ - _

Grillby grinned at Sans. He held out a bouquet of flowers.

“Flowers. I thought you might like them since you’re always looking at them outside the window.” 

Sans widened his eyes and he reached out timidly. He grasped it in his hands, staring at the different shades of each petal, his fingers stroking the petals. He sniffed and a soft smile tugged at his lips. Grillby sat at the corner of the bed, watching as Sans explored the flowers like a little child - like it was his first time in his life being so close to flowers. Sans looked up at Grillby, his eyes shining excitedly. 

_ “Thank you these are pretty really pretty I like them.” _ Sans licked his lips, tilting his head. Grillby leaned against the wall, silent.

“Glad you liked them Sans.” A moment of silence passed between them and Grillby got up. “I gotta go okay? I’ll be back later.” Sans nodded, staring after Grillby. The elemental walked down to the first level, and headed for the door. He twisted the handle and pulled it open and stopped. A well manicured hand was raised to knock on the door. 

“Oh! Ahaha hello!” Chrissy purred.

Grillby folded his arms. “What do you want.” He kept himself from showing the contempt in his voice but it burned in his eyes.

“Oh I just heard that Sans was feeling better with his uh new therapist.” Her nose wrinkled at the last word. “I thought I’d drop by and see how he was!”

“Well, he’s fine and right now, he’s busy so do you mind turning around and leaving?”

“Oh please darling!” Chrissy pushed past him and looked around before she headed up the ramp towards Sans bedroom. “I’m sure he’ll be most pleased to see me! Sa-whoaa!” Grillby snagged her elbow, pulling her backwards. She wheeled around, pulling back her arm, a pout on her face.

“Don’t you dare go up there! I will not let you ruin him just when he’s about to get better! You have done nothing but harm to him the last time we met!”

“Oh please don’t overreact. Sometimes people need their buttons pushed before they decide to get up and straighten their lives!”

Grillby dragged her out, slamming the door behind him. The windows rattled at the force. The flowers at the front door seemed to cower under Grillby’s simmering flames.

“I don’t know what you think you’re doing woman but I do not appreciate you barging in and leaving pieces of glass from your destructive tornado.”

“How poetic!” Chrissy cooed, giggling.

“You are not helping my friend. You did something back there in that room, I know you did but I’m leaving that alone for now. If you come back again, I will find out what you did and when I do, you will sincerely regret it.” 

Chrissy tilted her chin, her cherry red lips pursing. Then, she tiptoed, biting Grillby’s lip, drawing him into a kiss. She pushed him up against the wall. For a second, while she felt him up, Grillby was too shocked to react. Then, he exploded, furious. He shoved her backwards, his flames growing brighter, singeing her lips, sleeve and hands. She gasped. 

“Well… That was unexpected… I thought you had feelings for me…”

Grillby jolted. “Excuse me?”

“I guess you’re still playing hard to get.” She sneered before she brushed the front of her dress down, straightening her hair.

“Woman! Are you crazy? Get out of my sight now! Get. Out.” Chrissy didn’t need another glance at his crackling flames to start hiking up her dress, running down the street. 

Grillby slumped to the ground, putting his head between his knees, lacing his fingers behind his head. He stayed there for a long while before slowly climbing back to his feet, opening the door and entering. He lighted a cigarette, taking an even longer smoke at the couch before he finally went up to Sans’ bedroom. The skeleton lay curled up on the bed, the flowers tucked under his head in a hug. His eyes were closed but the way Grillby's head hummed with strange energy told him Sans wasn't asleep.

-

_ Sans kept his eyes closed. Grillby's was back earlier than he'd thought. Was it already evening? The elemental's thoughts were in an unusual turmoil, mind too muddled. Loud and uncomfortable, too many for Sans to hear properly. Sans instantly felt tense. Was it his fault? Had he done something wrong what was going on he needed the thoughts to be quiet it was hard for him to focus he needed to - Sans forced a calming breath through his nose.  _

_ 'Not everything is in your control and you have to accept that and move on.’ Janina's voice echoed in his head.  _

_ He opened his eyes when the bed sank under a new weight. Grillby sat at the corner, back facing Sans. Sans got up slowly, picking a flower from the bouquet.  _

_ - _

Grillby looked down in surprise. A yellow rose slid between his fingers. He turned slowly and saw Sans crouched behind him, his fingers pulling back after placing the rose. The skeleton looked up suddenly and a soft murmur of embarrassment, fear and shock passed through his teeth.

_ “I-I…”  _ Sans stuttered, backing away. 

Grillby didn't hesitate this time, he moved across the bed, crushing Sans in a hug, the rose dangling from his hands. Sans tensed slightly before he finally relaxed, although still shaking, resting his head on Grillby's chest. Grillby loosed his hands around Sans but the skeleton tightened his fingers, digging into the elemental's leather jacket.

_ “You're not mad?” _

“Why would I be?” At that, Sans looked confused and he bit his lip. 

_ “I… I…”  _ Sans blushed.  _ “N-no reason you should be sorry I-” _ Sans trailed off.

-

_ Sans noticed Grillby staring at his mouth and he raised a hand to his lips.  _

_ ‘Damnit. I want to kiss him’ _

_ Sans squeaked at the voice in his head. _

_ 'Shit shit shit. I should pull away right now. Say something Grillby! I must look like a fool right now…’  _

_ Sans lowered his eyes and pulled away. Grillby patted his shoulder.  _

_ “Sorry. Are you alright?” _

_ \--- _

_ Gr _ _ illb _ _ y raised his head sleepily. Before long, their lips were locked in a passionate kiss. They came up for air a few times but soon dived back into each other, tasting the sweet and warm flavours of each other. Sans grinned, biting his lip. _

_ “Are you alright?” _

_ \--- _

_ “I'm fine.” Sans murmured, curling up. He suddenly wanted to be left alone. A tear leaked from his eye and then he was sobbing, shoulders shuddering. He didn't know why. He suddenly craved contact. He missed it. Missed hugging Papyrus with raw innocence and brotherly love. Missed the soft kisses he had had, the ones that didn't feel tainted. Missed the soothing brush the accidental touch that didn't mess him up. When had everything gone do twisted and wrong?  _

_ \--- _

Papyrus opened the door to his home. It was quiet as usual. He passed by the kitchen, it's light switched on and Grillby taking a smoke at the table. The elemental was almost always around, like a third permanent member of the house. Papyrus didn't really mind. He gave a small nod of greeting before he set his things down and went upstairs. 

“Hi Sans! I'm home!”

_ “Hello…” _

Papyrus sat down on the end of the bed, watching Sans stare out at the moon.Dark clouds rolled across the sky. Sans watched them in an almost reverent silence, mouth slightly parted in awe. Each morning and night were the same, Sans watching the sunrise and sunset, staying up all night looking at the moon. Sans suddenly turned around to look Papyrus up and down.

_ “Do you… can I… can I hug you?” _

Papyrus opened and closed his mouth like a goldfish, searching for something to say before a stuttered “of course!” Finally made its way past his throat. Papyrus went over and put his arms around Sans and the smaller skeleton slowly did the same before he finally relaxed into his brother's touch.

_ “I… I don't want to… To stay broken anymore…”  _ Sans whispered softly.  _ “I… I want to go out and see people.” _

Papyrus smiled. “That sounds amazing Sans! But… Are you sure?”

Sans nodded.

“Papyrus! Could you come down for a moment? I need to speak to you.” Grillby called.

“Hold up!” Papyrus shouted back. “I’m going down to speak to Grillby okay?”

Sans nodded again.

-

“What?”

“Yep. That… Chrissy was here.”

“What the hell was she doing here?” Papyrus slammed his fist on the table.

“I don’t know…” Grillby looked away, grinding his teeth. “There was once… They were in for a session longer than usual and so I went to check but the door was locked.”

Papyrus’ eyes flared and he leaned forward.

“When I came in, the floor was wet and Sans… He didn’t flinch when I touched him. He looked so broken. Something happened in there. And I think I know what she did…”

“Fucking whore!” Papyrus proceeded to hiss every curse he knew in every language he knew.

Grillby thought the same but he let himself cool off. 

“She’s around the neighbourhood. I know she’s just waiting for a moment with Sans.” Papyrus paused before he cursed again.

“I… Kinda promised Sans I would let him out of the house.” Grillby blinked in surprise.

“Sans? Out of the house?”

“He asked.” Papyrus smiled briefly before his brows furrowed in deep thought. “Do you and Frisk mind-”

“No problem Papyrus. You know we’ll do it anytime.”

\---

Sans looked around him, seemingly oblivious to the stares people gave him. He rested his back against the tree the sat under, his wheelchair folded up beside him. Frisk swung her legs, sitting on a tree branch. Sans thoughts were a little unguarded, memories flicking by although they weren’t all bad.

Sans laughed, his eyes dancing as he tried to take in everything all at once. It was amazing yet saddening to see Sans exploring everything he saw. Grillby hummed a madeup tune in his mind and was very surprised to hear the tune echo back in Sans’ voice. He glanced at Sans who didn’t look like he noticed, picking at a clover in between his fingers. Sans paused and looked up, flushing when he caught Grillby’s stare. The humming in his head stopped.

“Keep going! That was good.”

_ “I-I didn’t mean to hear you… Its just… _ ”

Grillby laid back, folding his arms. 

“Its fine. I don’t mind. Keep humming.”

_ “It’s your tune. It was nice…” _

_ ‘Like you _ ’   
Came the unbidden thought. Grillby flushed and Frisk whistled, clapping her hands and giggling. Grillby leapt to his feet, reaching up and snatching Frisk from the branch by her sneakers. She shrieked, laughing harder when she fell with a soft thump onto the grass, rolling around and clutching her stomach. Sans looked a little startled before a giggle bubbled up in his own lips. Then the three were roaring with laughter.

“So it is true! You’re getting better!”

Grillby snapped his head around. Chrissy waved, a bright smile on her face. Sans paled and Frisk curled her fingers into fists.


	22. Alive

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short one sorry! Hope you enjoy it anyway!  
> -Sansby  
> -Chrissy has something to say  
> -She knows more

Grillby stood up. “What are you doing here? I thought I told you-”

“I know what you said. I just-”

“You were just about to leave! No go.”

Chrissy snorted, rubbing a thumb over her fingers. She didn’t make a move to leave, instead plopping down on the grass and patted at the mat next to her.

“Do sit Grillby. I do hate it when you ruin the mood.” Grillby seethed but sat down. Sans edged away from her, a loud  _ what will she do to- _ before it cut off and he went back to stroking the clover in his hands, his face one of discomfort and fear. Chrissy sighed.

“I’ve heard quite a bit about you, Frisk was it? The ambassador of Monsters! How exciting. How old are you now?”

“21.” 

“11 Years since the Underground! You must be so proud of yourself you little girl!” Frisk glared and sat closer to Sans.

“Anyway, I came here to do more than ask about your wellbeing. I did some digging for Sansy here and I found some very interesting things! About a Leon.” 

Sans crushed the clover so tightly in his hands, it practically turned into powder. Chrissy smiled, leaning forward. 

“I found out he’s part of this quite… fascinating group of people who are quite against monsters. They like to experiment with Monster magic because it’s something we’ve not seen in our lives. It’s very interesting and complex, how the Underground twists everything until its almost like… like a game!”

Frisk jerked but kept quiet. 

“Of course, that wasn’t what I was interested in. I wanted to learn more about monsters personally. Their magic is quite something. When it’s kept in a monster, it really only provides the monster with a certain skill set which the monster CAN expand but it is difficult to do. However, when it is extracted, it can be used in millions of ways! To make fuel, electricity, freeze and burn and practically everything else from  creating, fixing and destroying.”

Sans choked, tears filling his eyes.

“Stop. What are you trying to say?” Grillby ground out.

“Oh nothing… Ah… Anyway… I decided to meet up with the man himself! But of course he was assumed dead in some odd explosion. A little disappointed until I did find him.”

Grillby stared. “Impossible…” He breathed.

“He wasn’t dead. Although a slight bit crazy and has a deformed face now. He’s always ranting on and on about his little whore when he meets up with me for a therapist session.”

Sans couldn’t keep it in. He convulsed, vomiting. Chrissy grimaced. Grillby snarled at her, his hand reaching over and slapping her. Grillby ignored Chrissy's sounds of anger and shock and picked Sans up. 

“Grab his things, we're leaving this bitch.”

Frisk folded the mat and pulled open the wheelchair. Grillby settled Sans onto it and without a backward look, left Chrissy.

\---

_ Sans shook, memories pounding one after another into his head. He hugged himself, curling up on the bed.  _

_ \--- _

_ “Harder… Mmm.” Leon shuddered as he shot his release into Sans. Sans groaned, clutching the sheets. He retched, crying and coughing. _

_ Leon tsked, pulling Sans up, still inside him as he forced him to move to the bathroom.  _

_ “I-I can’t walk l-like this… W-wait…” Sans scratched weakly at Leon’s arm which was around his neck and hips. _

_ Leon moved his tongue up Sans’ neck, sending a shudder through him as he forced the skeleton to stagger into the shower. He pushed Sans against the wall, rutting his hips. _

_ \--- _

_ Sans groaned, drawing blood as his grip tightened around his shoulders. Someone was speaking to him, their thoughts mixing with his. He wept, backing away. He couldn’t handle this. He couldn’t… He needed air he needed a break he wanted it to stop he wanted he needed he needed- Sans crawled off the bed, reaching under for the blade he’d hidden there. He flipped it open, slashing at his arms, wrists, legs. Hands were on him, trying to pull the knife away but he screamed, jerking backwards. _

_ Fear fear fear get away they couldn’t mustn't touch him they couldn’t it was wrong it hurt it hurt so bad… _

_ He sliced through cloth, jabbing at his pelvis. Beautiful pain blossomed, blocking out the memories in his head and he clung to that, clung to the agonizing pain. Finally, the knife was pulled away despite his struggling. A soothing voice that he couldn’t quite hear the words, arms going around him.  _

_ Someone pressed warm lips to his head and even when he couldn’t quite see and couldn’t quite tell who was around him because he was so scared and… He knew those lips. He knew because the memories that swelled and covered the bad ones were ones he’d memorized and traced and replayed in his head.  _

_ He tilted his head up, connecting his lips with Grillby’s. Tears dampened his cheeks, slowing as he tasted Grillby for the first time in a long time. He snapped his eyes open but he didn’t break away, his hands moving, clasping around Grillby’s head, tugging him closer. They gasped for air before Grillby ducked back down, swallowing Sans in a kiss that somehow, impossibly felt better than the first and the one after felt better than the one before and on and on and Sans was drowned in interlocked lips, high on the taste of Grillby’s mouth.  _

_ At some point, they’d moved back onto his bed, Grillby under him. Finally they stopped, both breathing heavily, a smile on their lips. Sans rested his head on Grillby’s chest, choking back a sob. _

_ \--- _

“Shit. Did I hurt you?” Grillby was suddenly worried, looking down at the shaking skeleton lying atop him. 

_ “No you didn’t… I… It… It was just so good.” _

Sans pulled Grillby into another kiss, gasping. Grillby grinned, almost hungry as he pressed kisses along Sans’ jaw, sending delicious shivers down his body. Sans moaned, his hands tightening, fisted in Grillby’s jacket. 

“You taste amazing.”

Sans blushed, ducking his head and Grillby chuckled. He kissed Sans again, his tongue teasing and gentle and Sans groaned, smiling. He explored Sans mouth, tasting the sweet magic. He could faintly hear the front door opening downstairs and he paused.

“Your brother is home. And the door is wide open. Fuck.” He squirmed away from under Sans, sitting up.

Sans gave a soft murmur of protest but he giggled when Grillby frantically straightened his jacket and the sheets, trying to find his glasses which had fallen off somewhere. He finally found them, quickly putting them on just as Papyrus entered the room. 

“Hello!” Papyrus called cheerfully. Grillby gave a curse as he popped up from the floor behind the bed, his glasses sitting lopsided on his nose.

“Uh I… Good evening.” Grillby stood, brushing himself down as he tried to wipe the blush off his cheeks.

“What interesting things did you do today?” Papyrus asked, cocking an eyebrow at Grillby’s flustered state.

Sans puffed his cheeks before an explosion of laughter sounded in his head.  Grillby blushed further and he buried his head in his hands. Papyrus grinned.

“Oh Asgore kill me now…” Grillby muttered, sitting down on the bed. Papyrus chuckled.

“I’ll leave you two alone.” He said with a hint of laughter in his voice. 

Grillby flopped back onto the bed with a groan as Papyrus left, entering his own bedroom down the hallway, locking it. 

-

_ Sans giggled and kissed Grillby full on the lips before quickly pulling away.  _

“Oh no you don’t! Not when you embarrassed me in front of your brother.” 

_ Grillby got up twice as fast, locking his mouth over Sans’. Sans yelped and laughed against the kiss before he kissed back. This didn’t feel wrong. This didn’t feel bad or painful. It made his blood thrum in excitement like he was teetering over the edge of danger. It made him feel alive. Grillby pulled away for a moment, his expression turning serious. Sans bit his lip as Grillby pushed his sleeves up, exposing the fresh cuts he’d made and old scars and cracks. _

_ “ _ Do these hurt?”

_ Sans shook his head. It wasn’t a complete lie. Grillby turned his hand over, kissing his inner wrist, trailing higher and higher, his lips warm and tender on each cut and crack. Sans quivered, a flush of shame and love spreading across his face. When Grillby moved to his other hand, Sans snatched it back. _

_ “I can’t… They… You shouldn’t see these… They’re ugly.” Tears brimmed in his eye sockets.  _

“No they aren’t. They’re beautiful. Just like the rest of you.”

_ “You haven’t seen the rest of me.” Sans whispered. _

“I don’t need to. _ ” _

_ There was a pause as Sans digested that. He hugged Grillby, crying softly. Grillby patted him gently on the back, kissing him on the cheek. _

_ Then, they were lying back down on the bed, the world falling away and it was just Grillby and him. Grillby and his caressing lips and his breath mixing with his own and he knew in that instant he didn’t want anyone else he only wanted this monster in his arms who cared and loved him even though he didn’t deserve it. _

_ \--- _

Grillby watched Sans as his chest rose and fell in his sleep, a content smile on his lips. He thought about what Chrissy had said. That Leon was alive still. That he was alive and was taking therapy from that woman of all people. He was angry and afraid. Afraid because if Leon took Sans away from him again, he didn’t know how he was going to live with losing Sans a third time. 

He kissed Sans on the head, mind still filled with disturbed thoughts. He didn’t want his little dove to be hurt again. Grillby wouldn’t allow it. 


	23. All Okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Short one for one I promise I will return to writing full proper chapters  
> \- A small mention of Leon  
> \- Undyne's a little crazy  
> \- Grillby and 'Little Dove'  
> -Little Dove of all nicknames

Grillby groaned, rolling over. His eyes shot open and he stared at Sans’ sleeping face. Crap. He’d fallen asleep and he was so going to be late for work. The sun streaming in bright told him that. He tried to creep out of the bed without waking Sans but failed. Hands pulled him back into the bed, Sans kissing him sleepily. Grillby laughed.

“I’m going to be late for work Sans.” He said against the lips pressed against his.

_ “Just a second?”  _ Sans pleaded, licking Grillby with a blue glowing tongue.

Grillby didn’t say anything, simply kissing back, nibbling Sans’ lower lip. Several minutes passed and Grillby finally tore himself away, getting up. 

“Since when did you get so bold?” Grillby teased, hugging Sans. Sans didn’t answer, nuzzling his head under the elemental’s, hiding a grin spreading across his face.

“I have got to get to work Sans.” A muffled sigh and then Sans let go of his tight grip around Grillby.

\---

Grillby wiped the counter with his cloth, his mind on Sans’ lips, the heated kisses the night before, the-

“Hey! You there?” Undyne poked him. 

“What is it Undyne?” 

“Come on. Let's get outta here and grab a smoke. Your bar is empty and you’re open way too late for anyone to be awake. Not even fuckers like Leon. Yeah I heard he’s around.”

Grillby flicked a glance at his phone. It was 4.32 AM. 

“Alright. Give me a minute to close up and I’ll meet you at out back.”

\---

Undyne tucked her hair behind her finned ears, the cigarette dangling from her mouth. She drummed her fingers lazily on the wall behind her. She wore a pair of combat trousers and a dark blue sweater. 

“What are you doing here Undyne? I thought you were away?”

“Well, Toriel gave me a call. Told me that shithole was alive. I had to see it for myself.”

Grillby huffed and smoke shot through his lips.

“People don’t seem to care that monsters are being abused. It doesn’t matter. Our population is so small even though we discovered monsters on the surface who hadn’t been locked away. We aren’t many, even combined with the hybrids. We’re still killed in riots, discriminated. They don’t care if Sans were shit on by a human. To them, we deserve it. In your side of town, near Mt Ebott, you’re lucky. Its mostly monsters around here. But out there…”

Undyne shook her head, and her fringe came loose again, falling over her exposed eye.

“Out there is a whole new hell. Monsters burned alive, beaten to a pulp. The police aren’t much better. Those who actually keep to the law are few, and the police turn a blind eye, either too afraid of the majority, bribed, or they couldn’t care less. Leon’s been exposed, but with the way he is? Crazy and delusional? They wipe it off. After all, humans don’t do that. Monsters do.”

Undyne looked up at Grillby, pushing away from the wall and shoving her hands into her pockets.

“What are you going to do about it?”

“What?”

“Leon’s going to come after Sans at some point Grillby. He’s going to wreck everything you’re fighting to rebuild. And he’s going to succeed.”

“Undyne? I don’t quite-”

“Leon’s planning, Grillby. I know he is and sad to say, I can’t do anything to stop it. Even if I am an officer, I’m a Monster. I would be jailed or stripped off my duties if I ‘accused’ Leon of anything. You need to be ready to protect him. To fight back even if it means losing your life. But you’re just a bartender.”

A glow flickered beneath her fingers.

“Can you defend yourself?” An arrow slammed next to Grillby, millimeters away from piercing his neck, the shaft quivering. Grillby twisted away but Undyne shoved him back into the wall.

“Can you defend yourself Grillby?” She drew back her arm and threw it at him. He ducked and she hit nothing but the wall, sending cracks out over the bricks. He moved out from under her, swiping an arm and a line of fire was sent her way. She easily dodged it and several more arrows buried themselves under Grillby’s feet as he leapt away. 

“What the fuck Undyne? Wait-”

Another barrage of arrows forced him to back up again.

“He won't wait for you! CAN YOU DEFEND YOURSELF?”

Grillby gritted his teeth. He threw a fist at her and fire exploded from his hand. She spun an arrow in her hand and the fire was blown out.

“Pathetic attempt Grillby!”

He was calmed himself, quickly ducking to avoid another arrow. He kicked his foot into the ground. Fire burst put underneath, like hot geysers, toward Undyne. She leaped, avoiding it.

“You missed again you idiot!” She yelled.

Grillby ignored it, focussing. He wasn't quite sure what happened after,only that near half an hour had passed when he finally landed on his back, an arrow pressed to his cheek.

“Good.” She extended a hand and he glared at her angrily before he took it, allowing himself to be pulled to his feet.

“You’re going to have to do better than if you want to defend yourself and someone else.”

With that, she took off running, ignoring Grillby’s calls.

\--- 4 Months later

_ Janine grinned at Sans who smiled back. _

_ “Great job sweet pea! Alright. I’ll see you on Wednesday okay?” _

_ “Okay. Bye Janine.” _

_ She waved and walked out, nodding a quick greeting to Papyrus who walked in. _

_ “So brother, ready for a date with your fiance?” He grinned at the flush that spread across Sans’ cheekbones. _

_ A month ago, Grillby had proposed to Sans, standing on the back porch with a ring of twisted silver for Sans. When Sans had agreed, he’d taken Sans’ hands and fitted it on his finger, laughing and kissing the life out of Sans’ lips. _

_ “Yeah? I… He’s taking me to his place… Is this okay?” _

_ He tugged on the jacket over his turtleneck nervously. It was what he usually wore everyday regardless of how hot the weather was.  _

_ “You’re fine. Now go. You’re starting to sound like a nervous little girl.” _

-

Grillby kissed Sans on the lips, buckling him in. They drove around for awhile before they ended up at Grillby’s block. They kissed while in the lift, sneaking a few more as they entered the apartment. Grillby paused for a second to shift the couch so it faced the window. 

“This place is great, even though it’s small and the neighbours are rude.” 

Sans looked around. A television placed against the wall on top of a low shelf and books filled two shelves that reached from floor to ceiling. There was a corridor leading to three closed doors which Sans assumed were bedrooms. Everything looked fresh and polished. Grillby couldn’t stand uncleanliness. It just wasn’t him. He helped push Sans’ wheelchair next to the couch and he sat down. 

“Watch.”

Minutes later, the sun began to set. The view was amazing, looking over treetops and buildings with Mt Ebott in the far distance. The sky was  warmly lit by the sun trying to prise the last of its amber limbs over the rooftops. The sky was dyed pomegranate pink, scarlet, then amethyst, then it darkened to obsidian. As night deepened, random lights of fireflies blinked more frequently until the canopy below, billowing in dark waves, sparked with benign, green embers under a star-speckled sky.

Grillby watched Sans gaze at the view, his eyes widened. 

“Sunsets has always been amazing hasn’t it? I want to live every sunset and sunrise with you. Every single one with you.” Sans jolted, turning to face Grillby. Grillby couldn’t stand the amazed, fascinated and almost disbelieving face Sans’ made and he connected his lips with Sans; for a brief kiss. “And I’m going to settle that want with a kiss. Every promise, every agreement… everything.” He said as he pulled back. “With a kiss. Seal it?”

Sans grinned. “ _ Do you even need to ask?” _

He reached up and kissed Grillby on the lips. 

“Its been awhile now… And I know nothing has happened in the past few months but… are you scared of Them?”

_ “I don’t care if They are here. I don’t want to care that They are alive. I have you. And Papyrus. I know you’ll always be there.”  _

“Of course little dove. Always.” 

Sans looked down and twisted the ring in his hands with a smile on his face.


	24. To Love and to Cherish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -WARNING  
> -Sex  
> -i suck at wedding scenes  
> -smut  
> -Sans by  
> -Possessive Grillby  
> -Little Dove  
> [Don't ask me why Grillby is calling Sans his Dove. It just is]  
> ENJOY

_ Sans was in the car, almost arriving at their destination. He tugged on his gloves, itching to rub the holes in his hands.It felt weird with gloves that covered a nonexistent part of him.  _

“Stop that Sans. You’re going to ruin those pretty gloves.”  _ Papyrus scolded him.  _

_ “Sorry. It’s just. What if I mess this up?” _

“You aren’t going to. Now don’t worry. This is your special day.”  _ Papyrus eyes shone with part happiness, part sadness. Sans was tempted to hear his brother’s thoughts but he decided not to. If he heard something wrong, he might just break down. _

_ \--- _

They'd decided to have the wedding on the beach.  The area faced the breathtaking sunset, the fainting light painting the sky with purple and blue hues, pink streaking through the white clouds. Grillby stood under a wedding arch made of wood decorated with red, yellow and white roses. Simple benches were put out on the white sand, making a path.

The wedding was small, with the immediate close friends, Asgore and Toriel, Undyne and Alphys, Mettaton and the Ghosts, Muffet, a few of the Temmies[More like all of them but they were all so tiny], Frisk, Janine and several other monsters. They weren’t dressed very fancifully, either in skirts or jeans and collared tops.

Grillby watched as Sans was pushed up the aisle, Papyrus grinning up at him as they neared. He had only eyes for Sans. Everything else faded away and it was just him and Sans and it was amazing. He swallowed hard when it was time to speak the words. It wasn’t that he was afraid to. It was because he couldn’t believe this was happening. That it was actually happening right now. Months of preparation and finally.

“Seal it?”

Then he and Sans had their lips locked together, fitting a silver ring, with a red stripe along the middle of it meeting at the intertwined letters engraved into the silver, onto each other’s fingers. It was simple, it was quick, it was how they wanted it. 

“I just… want to thank you guys for how amazing this has been. I never imagined that I, a simple bartender in the Underground, would fall in love with this Sans here for how he was. Lazy and filled with puns. And when we came aboveground, nothing changed that. If anything, it made me love him even more.”

\---

“I never thought you’d be mine. But you are now. Mine.” _ Grillby murmured, kissing Sans on the lips.  _

_ They were in Grillby’s apartment, on the bed. Sans under Grillby, arms tangled in the sheets as they kissed. Grillby’s hand sneaked under Sans’ shirt and pulled it off easily. Grillby’s one came off next and Sans pressed his skeletal palm against the odd touchable solid mass under the flames. It was warm and it didn’t burn. Grillby hissed under his touch and leaned into Sans, giving him another kiss, eyes trailing down his ribs. Grillby’s fingers stroked his spine, hooking into his belt loops and he stiffened.  _ _   
_ _ Grillby paused, looking Sans in the eye. Sans breathed in and out. There wasn’t anything scary about this. He knew he wouldn’t hurt him. Knew he wouldn’t from the kisses they’d shared. But that was it. They’d only kissed.  _

_ “I… I can’t… Not yet.” Sans mumbled, embarrassed. “I know… y-you won’t hurt me… B-but it… It…” _

“It’s okay. We won’t go there yet. We have a whole life time ahead of us. And I don’t mind just looking at you.” 

_ Grillby brushed a finger over Sans lips.  _ “You’re mine little dove and I won’t clip your wings.”  _ He growled, bending low and kissing Sans’ wrist. His lips followed the line of scars and cracks on his arm and Sans shivered, moaning. He arched his back when Grillby licked his neck, close to the wire attached to his spine. _

“I won’t hurt you.” _ Grillby assured, his fingers rubbing each sensitive spot in his ribs and he groaned, biting down on Grillby’s shoulder, marking him. _

_ “ _ Look at you you’re amazing.”

_ “You’re beautiful.”  _

_ Sans murmured, tracing the muscles in Grillby's chest. Sans moved his hand down, pressing down on Grillby's abdomen as he kissed and licked the firm fiery mass. Grillby sucked in a breath and quickly tilted Sans head up so that he could kiss him. Sans grinned and kissed the elemental's jaw, to the corner and below his lips, down his neck and on his collarbone. _

_ “Beautiful beautiful beautiful.” Sans said in between each kiss. Grillby chuckled, his voice sounding low and rough.  _

_ “ _ You're making me drunk on those lips of yours. I can never get enough of them.” 

_ Grillby groaned and kissed Sans.  _

_ “Good.” Sans mumbled. _

_ \--- _

_ They had spent weeks mostly kissing and exploring each other with only their jeans keeping them from doing more. Sans had gone back every day to Papyrus' place, now hardly his own because most of his things had been moved to Grillby's and his place. Papyrus had laughed and took Sans out, just talking about his days at work. Sans had listened and laughed, enjoying his brother's company. _

_ Memories, happier ones of before, were coming back ever so slowly with help from his friends, especially Janina who coaxed everything slowly and gently from him. A session before his wedding, she'd squeaked and pumped his arm up and down in excitement, her accent thick as she told him how honoured she was to have been invited to his wedding. Sans was glad they had grown to become good friends. She was nice and understanding, and she too had just started dating. _

_ Frisk, was glad to stay single but had taken up a job as a veterinarian, always bring back stray dogs and cats and every other animal that could possible exist. Asgore had complained once when they all came for a gathering about cubs turning up in his kitchen and wrecking all his teacups.  _

_ Things were turning up for Sans. Even with the occasional news of Leon who had been seen once or twice publicly, he was happy. He was definitely afraid, quietly in his mind, but he was determined to set aside that fear. Leon was no longer part of his life. And he would chase him out if he came close. _

_ - _

_ Sans groaned as Grillby sent kisses down his spine, ignoring the wire and devices that clung to each vertebrae and made him look ugly and distorted. _

“I don't care about those. They're now a part of you and every part of you is beautiful.”

_ Grillby whispered. _

_ “I want you. I… I need you. I'm not afraid anymore.” Sans whispered back, desperately. Grillby stopped, his hands on either side of Sans head, pushing himself up from the bed. _

“Are… are you sure?” 

_ “Yes.” A moment of silent kissing before Grillby slowly eased Sans jeans gently off his pelvis. The warm heat that met his lower body shocked him. The two thick pieces of clothing had kept most of Grillby's heat away but now with that gone… Grillby stared down at his bare bones and Sans suddenly felt a little shy. _

_ His lower body was scarred and twisted and melted and marked by every torture device possible and he hadn't looked at himself properly in a long time. To have someone else look at him. His husband… _

_ Grillby brushed a finger across his pelvis and he shivered. The touch was warm and comforting and he almost cried. The next touch sent tears down his cheeks and Grillby stopped in surprise. _

_ “ _ Did I hurt you Sans? I'll stop-”

_ “No! It's just… I… I haven't been touched there gently before. It's just.” Sans took in a shuddering breath and buried his head in Grillby's chest. _

“Oh.”  _ Was all Grillby could say. He pressed a kiss on Sans skull before he shed his own pants. Sans gasped, seeing all of Grillby. Every inch of him was perfect and whole and- _

_ “I need you… I need you I need you I need you.” Grillby grinned, his fingers doing it's work, arousing Sans. Blue magic coated his bones before it began to form itself.  _

_ “Come-on Grillby.” _

_ Grillby teased Sans, fingers dipping in and out from the folds of his clit. Sans groaned, trying to tilt his hips into Grillby's hands. _

_ “Ooh Grillby stop… stop teasing.” His entrance was slick and finally, Grillby touched the tip to Sans, slowly sliding himself in. Sans let out a moan fingers digging into Grillby's bareback. _

_ He slowly glided in and out before he picked up his pace, gently rocking Sans back and forth. Sans gasped, calling out Grillby's name as he quickened. _

_ “Oh oh Grillby!” He could barely think, his mind only on Grillby and how he felt with him buried inside.  _

_ They came with their names on each other's lips. Grillby lay on top of Sans, still inside him, breathing heavily, kissing Sans and biting his collarbone gently. _

_ “Oh you were perfect Sans. Just. Perfect. You're my dove my sweet perfect little dove.” _

_ “Mmmfff” Sans moaned, shifting. He groaned when he felt Grillby move inside him. “Shit Grillby, that was…” _

_ He didn't know what to say and decided to kiss Grillby instead, never pausing. _

_ “Ah we're sealed. Sealed forever. You and me and nobody else.” Grillby finally pulled away, hands still intertwined with Sans'. Their wedding rings glinted next to each other. _

_ \--- _

Grillby looked down at Sans sleeping face, a blanket covering his bare bones, snuggled up against him. Damn it this sweet little skeleton in his arms. He wouldn't let anyone hurt him. He couldn't. He would protect Sans as best as he could. 

He had been taking lessons from Undyne, small ones every now and then, training him. He was definitely better. The last time he had fought was in the Great War. The Final Battle. Aboveground before they had lost and had been sealed. 

Grillby shook away the thoughts and kissed Sans on the head before he eased his arm out from under Sans' and got off the bed, pulling on his jeans. He was just about to reach the kitchen to make a cup of coffee when Sans phone rang. Not wanting to wake Sans so he went over to pick it up. It was from Undyne.

“SANS!”

“Its Grillby. Sans is asleep. What-”

“WAKE HIM UP NOW AND GET OVER TO HIS HOUSE ASAP.”


	25. Till Death Do Us Part

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will make all of these short chapters worth it. I PROMISE D:  
> -Uh. Warning- Graphic(?)

Grillby stood in horror outside Papyrus bedroom. Undyne looked up from where she stood squatted at the bed. A grim look on her face.

_ “What is it?”  _ Sans asked softly.

“Don't look Sans. Don't. Don't open up your mind keep it closed. I beg you.”

Papyrus soul was cracked in half, floating impossibly still. He was bare, white fluid coating his pelvis, a bullet hole in the center of his skull. Raped and then shot. Somehow, he hadn't filled dusted yet although the grey particles coated the room. His hand had been snapped off, stuck in a crack on the wall. A broken off finger coated with blood lay next to the bed.

A name had been drawn in blood sloppily across the wall.

**_Leon_ ** .

Sans tried to push past Grillby but Grillby pulled him back. 

“Don't Sans. Please dove. I-”

_ “LET ME SEE HIM. WHAT HAPPENED. TELL ME?!” _

“You probably don’t want to see Sans.” Undyne said softly.

“ _ TELL ME!!” _

“He... He's dead Sans.”

_ “NO! HE'S NOT. HE WAS…I WAS TALKING TO HIM. I SAW HIM JUST YESTERDAY. HE’S FINE. LET ME GO. PLEASE.”  _ Sans gasped, digging his hands into Grillby's arms.  _ “YOU'RE LYING. LET ME SEE HIM! YOU HAVE TO LET ME SEE HIM!” _

_ “ _ I'm sorry dove. I-” He leaned down to hug Sans but he pulled away.

“ _ DON’T! LET ME SEE HIM. JUST… JUST LET ME SEE HIM.”  _ Grillby swallowed and nodded. 

Sans pushed himself forward. He took in everything with a glance and then he howled.

“ _ I'M GOING TO KILL HIM! I'M GOING TO KILL HIM!”  _ Sans screamed, holding his head. Grillby hugged him, his own tears evaporating in his eyes. Sans gripped Grillby's jacket to him, holding him tight as he cried.

\---

_ When Alphys had tried merging Papyrus' soul back together, it shattered and every part of him faded away, not leaving a trace of his presence. Not even  _ _ dust _ _. What was left was the blood painted on the walls, stained on the tangled sheets. _

_ Sans could barely hold himself together. Grillby did that for him, hugging him tight and close. _

_ “Why? Why did he kill Paps? Paps was good. He didn’t do anything wrong. He should’ve... “ _

_ Should’ve killed me instead. _

“Don’t say that! I don’t know why he did what he did… but… I’ll figure it out.”

_ “He’ll get away. He always gets away. And then he’ll come. And he’ll take you. I don’t want him to take you.” _

_ Sans looked up at Grillby, love and desperate fear mixed in his thoughts. Grillby took his hand in his, fingers curling over skeleton fingers, rings side by side.  _

“There’s a reason why we have these rings dove. We’ll always be together. I won’t let him take you or me. Okay? I’ll seal it even.”  _ He leaned down and kissed Sans, brushing away tears with a thumb, keeping their hands laced together. Sans took in a shaky breath, nodding and resting his head on Grillby’s chest. Why Papyrus? His brother had been nothing but good and peaceful and perfect and every time he was killed he was murdered he was hurt because of Sans and Sans could do nothing. Reset… He searched inside his head for the reset button he had discovered once, when he’d taken the shot for Papyrus. _

_ \--- _

_ “D...do...do you...w-want...anything...Pa…pyrus?” And then he was gone, white and cyan surrounding him. He opened his eyes and blinked. _

_ A blue set of translucent question boxes floated in front of him. His white soul floated upside down, a large crack down the middle.  _

**_Reset           Continue ~~Void~~_ **

_ He hesitated, fingers brushing over the reset button.  _

**_Yes         No_ **

_ Sans pressed the  _ **_No_ ** _ button and it returned to the first three options, the third one blurred out. He didn’t want to move on… He couldn’t. It was too much the pain the agony the torture they would never let him go and _

**_Continue_ **

**_Yes_ **

_ \--- _

_ He couldn’t find it. He couldn’t find it. Where  was it. Maybe if he reset. He could save his brother. He had to. He had to he had to he- He opened his eyes and saw Asgore, Toriel, Mettaton, Undyne, Alphys, Mettaton, Napstablook... FRISK. He shrieked, pulling out of Grillby’s grasp, stumbling and falling, reaching for Frisk. She look startled but bent down, helping him up. His hips ached but it was nothing compared to the ache in his soul. _

_ “Reset. You have to reset. You have to save him. Reset please.” _

“Sans. You know I can’t-”

_ “You can! PLEASE. YOU HAVE TO RESET!! YOU HAVE TO!!” He screamed, clawing at her shoulders and drawing blood. Everyone else could only stand, frozen. _

_ “ _ I… I can’t I’m sorry I want to but-”

_ “YOU HAVE TO PLEASE. SAVE HIM!! ONE TIME I BEG YOU! ONE LAST CHANCE. I NEED ONE MORE DAY!! JUST ONE MORE DAY! PLEASE I’M BEGGING YOU!!” _

“Sans… I… I tried. I-”

_ “YOU DIDN’T TRY HARD ENOUGH!! YOU HAVE TO YOU HAVE TO YOU HAVE TO! SAVE HIM!! SAVE MY BROTHER! YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO HIM!! YOU-” _

_ Grillby pulled him back and he kicked, even though it sent pain through his body even though it burned and tore at him he fought and scratched. _

_ “PLEASE GRILLBY. HE DIDN’T DESERVE TO DIE! I DID I DID I DID! I DID NOT HIM!! NOT HIM! WHY? WHY WAS IT HIM? WHY ISN’T IT ME?! WHY? I WANT HIM BACK!! IT WASN’T SUPPOSED TO BE HIM! WHY?” He howled, curling up and sobbing.  _

_ \--- _

Frisk stared, tears running down her face. It made everything around her blurred and she wiped them away angrily. She wanted to. She wanted to reset but she’d tried and nothing had happened.  _ Nothing had happened.  _ She didn’t know what had gone wrong with the timeline but it was too late. It was way too late now. Frisk sobbed, rubbing her stinging arms. Asgore took her by the shoulder, leading her to the bathroom.

“Sweetie…”

“He’s right…”

“Frisk sweetie he’s just upset.”

“I am too Dad! I’m supposed to be the one to help this. To make this all not happen. But I can’t. I can’t Dad and I don’t know what to do. I wished we were back in the Underground…” She shook, crying harder.

“At least things made sense! At least Papyrus was alive and Sans was fine and… I don’t know Dad… I just…” She sighed, hiccuping

\---

Grillby hugged Sans’ sleeping body, a day of crying having wiped him out. Grillby stared at the photos framed along the walls in front of him. 

Papyrus grinning in one, holding up a spaghetti icecream. Papyrus making an impressive snowman duplicate of himself, Sans sitting on the porch in his wheelchair, patting a snowball in his hands. Papyrus’ head thrown back in a laugh, arm hooked around Sans, Grillby sitting next to them, a blush on his face and hands closed around Sans’. 

And then the image of Papyrus stripped and shot appeared in his mind, marring the pictures. He shuddered shaking his head. He would get his revenge. A sick man like Leon had to be stopped. And the first person he was going to go to, was Chrissy.


	26. Seal it Little Dove

Grillby pulled open the office door, startling a monster and Chrissy. 

“You, get out. Chrissy. Stay.” 

The frightened tiny little teddy bear tottered out of the room. Chrissy swallowed. 

“H-hello Grillby.”

“I’m not here to drink tea and say hello Chrissy. Where is Leon?”

“I-I don’t know! I… he disappeared. He left several days ago saying he had to-”

“I can see that lie in your eyes Chrissy now tell me now!” He pushed everything off her table, her cup of water shattering on the ground, spilling over flying documents.

“Tell me now Chrissy or I promise I will make your life miserable and you will do more than burn alive.”

“I-I he he… He asked me where Sans lived. I… I didn’t I… I told him where he was living.”

“Where is he now?”

“In… In a warehouse… I… Its down… down by the desert… ….I didn’t know what he would do. I didn’t know he would kill-”

“You didn’t stop him.”

“I’m sorry?”

“The news of Papyrus death isn’t public.” She gulped at that.

“That means you knew he’d been killed. You stood by and watched.”

“I… I…”

“Did you touch him? Did you touch Papyrus?”

“Y...Yes…”

“With both hands?”

“Y-yes.”

Grillby shoved the table and it caught fire. She screamed and he reached over the burning table, pulling her out of her chair. “I didn’t d-do a-anything else!”

“You touched him. That’s all that matters.”

Then he pressed her down on the floor, holding his hands over hers. She screamed as he burned her palms, her fingers. Then he stood up and left the room burning.

\---

Grillby returned to the house. He grabbed a cup and filled it with coffee before he headed to the kitchen. Sans raised his head, staring at him with dark circles under his eyes. 

“Hi dove. Are you okay?” Grillby settled himself down beside Sans who snuggled up under his arm, sniffing.

“ _ I… I keep thinking… I keep thinking that… Papyrus…”  _ A choked sob and then Sans was crying, fingers tightening around Grillby’s. Grillby rubbed his back, kissing him on the forehead.

“Hey… It’s going to be okay dove. I’m here.”

“ _ Always?” _

“Always. Seal it even.”

And then Sans pressed his lips to Grillby’s and his sorrow was drowned in the kiss, driving him as he pulled Grillby closer. Grillby smiled sadly, hands on either side of Sans’ hips.

_ “Did you even need to say…” _

Sans reached out and took Grillby’s hand. He hissed, pulling back. He must have cut himself on a shard when he’d swiped everything off Chrissy’s table. Sans grabbed his hand and looked at it.

_ “What happened?” _

“I… I cut myself.” Sans raised an eyebrow, brushing his lips over the wound. “I… I went to Chrissy’s.” Sans started, freezing.

_ “What did you do?” _

“I asked her where Leon was.” He didn’t say anything about burning her. 

Sans fell quiet. Then, resting his head once again on Grillby’s chest, he fell asleep. Grillby smiled, resting his chin on Sans head, he too, closed his eyes.

-

When he woke up, Sans was gone from his arms and a note was pinned to the sofa.

_ Leon took him _

In Chrissy’s handwriting, slightly messy.

_ \--- _

_ Sans woke. At first, for a second, he thought he was dreaming. His arms were cuffed onto the armrests of a chair. Where was he? Where.- _

_ Sans stared at Leon who stood, his limbs awkward. He held a gun in his hand, a crazed like look in his eyes. _

_ “I've found you whore!!”  _

_ His melted distorted features twisted further in a grin. Sans breathed hard, eyes glowing as he pushed himself back into the chair, jerking against the clasps. Leon grinned, stroking his head. _

_ “I found you asleep in your home and I-” _

_ “SANS!!”  _

_ “Don't move! Don't you dare move fire boy! Or your little slut here will find a bullet in his head.” _

_ Sans froze, turning his head slightly. Grillby had his hand outstretched several paces next to them. _

_ “I...I…Grillby...”  He stuttered. _

_ Grillby ground his teeth, fear and anger crackling in his flames. _

_ “It's going to be okay dove. I'm going to get you out of here.” Leon laughed, staggering impossibly closer to Sans. He gripped Sans’ turtleneck, pulling him into a kiss. He struggled weakly but stopped when the gun was pressed against the side of his head. _

_ Grillby clenched his fists. Sans groaned when Leon rubbed his hand under his pants. Memories resurfaced and he tried to block them out, focusing on Grillby who stood to the side. _

_ “Grillby Grillby Grillby… Don't you just like seeing your boyfriend felt up? You know, you've caused me a lot of trouble.” Leon called out, pulling away from the kiss. Sans panted, tears pooling in his eyes, trying to wield his magic. His mind was in such a mess, he couldn't keep a hold on it and fight the cuffs antimagic at the same time. Fear swallowed him, and he could do nothing but sit and listen. _

_ - _

Grillby growled.

“Leave him alone! You're… freaking sick! What's wrong with you?” For a moment, Leon didn't answer.

“Do you want to know why I hate monsters?” Leon snarled, pushing the gun harder forcing Sans to tilt his head. Blood trickled down his skull. 

“When they were freed, monsters… skeletons! They came into my village and murdered everyone! They took my family and raped them in front of my eyes… and then, they shot my mother, my sisters, burned my father!” 

“Not all Monsters are like that…”

“Oh but look at Sans. His magic has done nothing but destroy. That's what monsters are made for. Destruction! There was a reason you beasts were locked away!” 

“Sans doesn't destroy. YOU do. Don't you see what you're doing?! You're becoming a monster too.”

“How dare y-”

“You raped Sans. Tortured him. Aren't you the same as them then?”

Leon faltered. His face darkened and he lowered his head. Grillby took a step backwards.

“Put the gun down. I don't want to hurt anyone. Just put down the gun and I'll take Sans and leave.”

Leon nodded, shifting his gun lower.

“That's good. Sans, are you okay?”

_ “Y-” _

“SHUT UP SHUT UP!!” Leon screeched. A loud bang sounded.

\---

_ Sans widened his eyes. Leon had his arm raised, gun smoking. Grillby staggered, falling. His flames flickered. Blood spread over his jacket, dust and ashes floating into the air. He coughed, blood bubbling in his mouth before his chest rose, shuddering. Then, it dropped and Sans didn't see it move again. _

_ “I-” shock flashed past Leon's eyes. Then a determined satisfied smile spread across his face.  _

_ “The troublemaker is gone! It's just you and me now bitch. You and me. We can fuck away for the rest of our lives.” _

_ Sans stared at Grillby's still figure. Leon reached under his shirt, stroking each sensitive rib. He snarled at Sans, and gripping Sans chin, jerked it so he faced him. _

_ “Look at me you little slut! He's dead! And you're mine. I'm going to enjoy-” _

_ Sans howled, struggling for a second before tearing through the cuffs like they were nothing more than paper. Bones slammed into Leon's chest, sending the man flying and his gun ripped out of his hands. Sans stood, blue glowing over him as he walked for the first time, without tripping or stumbling, over to Leon's trembling body. Millions of furious voices layered his speech. _

_ 'MONSTER. YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A MONSTER IN A HUMAN'S BODY. YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING BUT DESTROY AND BURN AND KILL AND YOU PRETEND YOU ARE INNOCENT THAT YOU WERE THE VICTIM” _

_ Sans grabbed the man with a wave of his hand before throwing him into the wall. It cracked, sending plaster raining down. _

_ “THAT WHAT YOU DO ISN'T WRONG HOW CAN YOU LIVE WITH YOURSELF. HOW  DARE YOU PULL THE TRIGGER. HE WAS MINE. HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MINE!!” _

_ Sans trapped him, slamming him with bones several times. _

_ “HE WAS PERFECT! AND HE'D DONE NOTHING WRONG! NOTHING WRONG TO YOU! YOU SHOULD HAVE SHOT ME. ME. ME. ME!! NOT HIM WHY DID YOU KILL HIM!?” _

_ Each word was met with a blast or a bone to the side. _

_ “YOU KILLED HIM!” _

_ Sans flung him into the wall again.  _

_ “WHY?!”  _

_ Leon struggled to stand, fingers slipping and scrambling in his own blood.  _

_ “H-he was-” _

_ “WHY?!”  _

_ Sans walked over, pulling Leon to his feet. He slammed him into the wall.  _

_ “TELL ME WHY?!” _

_ A bone appeared out of nowhere, moving at incredible speed and crushing into Leon's left pinky with an awful sound.  _

_ “YOU TOOK HIM AWAY!!” _

_ Leon screamed in terror. _

_ “YOU SHOT HIM!” _

_ A second finger shattered. _

_ “YOU KILLED HIM!” _

_ A fifth. _

_ “HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO HURT YOU!” _

_ A seventh. _

_ “HE WASN'T GOING TO HURT YOU!!” _

_ Eighth. _

_ “BUT YOU.” _

_ Ninth. _

_ “YOU KILLED HIM!” _

_ The last finger crumpled under the pressure. _

_ “YOU MURDERED HIM!!” _

_ A bone collided with Leon's chest and several ribs cracked audibly.  _

_ “YOU CAN TAKE ME AND HURT ME BUT” _

_ Leon was thrown across the room, slamming into bones protruding from the wall. _

_ “YOU” _

_ A blaster opened its mouth, magic glowing in its jaw. _

_ “CANNOT” _

_ Another blaster flickered _

_ “TAKE HIM!!” _

_ They threw bolts of magic, burning his right hand. _

_ “HE WAS MY LIFE AND YOU KILLED HIM YOU KILLED HIM HE WAS PERFECT AND WHOLE AND NOW HE'S GONE!”  _

_ A bone ripped through Leon's chest, blood splattering.  _

_ “BRING HIM BACK!” _

_ Sans waved a hand in the air, and the gun that Leon had used was pulled into his hands.   _

_ “BRING HIM BACK!!”  _

_ He roared and pressed the gun between Leon's eyes. _

_ “I-I can't he he-” _

_ “YOU DO NOT DESERVE MERCY” _

_ Sans pulled the trigger again. And again and again and again, the blood and brain exploding over his face and jacket barely fazing him.  _

_ “NOT MERCY NOT LIFE NOT ANYTHING YOU DON'T DESERVE ANYTHING!” _

_ He shot until it clicked empty. It clicked until he was crying and sobbing. He flung the gun to one side, sinking to his knees. He threw back his head, a cry wrenching from his lips. He heard a groan behind him and Sans pulled himself together teleporting to Grillby's side, pulling the still body into his lap.  _

_ “GRILLBY? WAKE UP PLEASE!” _

_ His voice was wrecked and lonely, frantic. He tried to bring healing magic into his hands, but he couldn't. He never could. Grillby made no response, dust still floating in the air. Sans found a faint pulse in the elemental’s neck and he hugged him tighter. _

_ A second later Grillby coughed, blood trickled from his lips, his fire weak and diminishing. _

_ “GRILLBY?” _

_ “You…did good Sans…” _

_ 'I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU. GRILLBY… PLEASE STAY PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE STAY!” _

_ Grillby reached out a hand, his fingers brushing Sans jaw. Sans threaded his fingers through the flames, holding it to his cheek. _

_ “You’ll… live... You don’t... need me.” _

_ “GRILLBY PLEASE NO… PLEASE… please… don't dust don't… don't… don't leave me alone…”  _

_ His voice grew smaller. Grillby's fingers twitched as he struggled to speak. _

_ “Promise… promise me… you'll keep going…? That you... you'll do all the things… we wanted to do…? That you'll… look at each sunset… and sunrise… with… or without me?” _

_ Sans couldn't deny a dying man his promise… but he couldn't accept it either… he… he… Sans shook his head, tears dropping onto Grillby's leather jacket. The one just hours ago he had been holding. Just hours ago it had crinkled as  Grillby moved, alive and well and carrying Sans in his arms as they kissed. Just hours ago...  _

_ “I… I promise.” _

_ Grillby smiled weakly, tears dripping down his cheeks, now barely sizzling in the almost nonexistent flames. “Seal… it…?” _

_ Sans pressed his lips against the warm flames, his own tears falling past and the taste of ashes filled Sans’ mouth. The weight in his arms faded away. Sans didn't open his eyes. He couldn't. _

_ “You… didn't even have to ask… Grillby…” _

  
  


_ … _

  
  


_ … _

  
  
  


_ “Grillby?” _

 

_ \-- _

Three days later, a skeleton emerged from the building, wearing a bloody leather jacket over his own, a piece of ripped pant cloth tied into a pouch in his hands filled with ashes and a ring. He didn't look back at the building as he left, limping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ay. Thats it. Hands Origins is complete. Go ahead and read the first chapter of Pyralis White.

**Author's Note:**

> I'll try to post a chapter or more every day.


End file.
